MotherGooze Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 I really want to make contact with him so badly. I'm a singer and this friday I'll have my first performance with my new band, and I'm just so sad that he can't be there. It would mean so much to me, and I know he really wants to, but I can't ask him, because I promised not to contact him. I don't feel like gigging now I just want to be with him... Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 On behalf of LS I grant you permission to break NC and tell him you would like him to come. I don't know the background- but lifes to short, and this is important to you. You really have nothing to lose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MotherGooze Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 My friends tell me I shouldn't. Because I promised him I wouldn't make contact... But this really is important to me, I just don't know how to ask him this. I don't want to call him 'cause that would be too hard. I guess, even though I know he wants to come, I'm afraid of being rejected and that he won't come.... Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 I don't know the background so I apologise if this is all complete rubish... How do you think he'd react to you asking him? Would he go in a completely platonic way, give you a clap at the end, then leave? What would you expect to happen? Do you want to recruit him has a groupie? As much as you'd like the support, I'm sure you have lots of friends for that. Would you be able to maintain your composure sitting looking at him in the audience (chatting to other girls?). Seems to me like too many things could go wrong. I'd come along if you wern't in belgium Link to post Share on other sites
Author MotherGooze Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Yeah, maybe you're right, but he promised me he would come months ago, and I've been looking forward to it ever since. He's never seen me perform, because of his job. And yeah...maybe I'm still waiting for that other chance, and he could see another side of me watching me perform. It's just so stupud, we've made the decision to have a big talk next week to see where we stand. Why can't hecome over this week then...it's only one bloody week! You can check my history on here Rocket man,mostly in the coping section Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 We'll its really down to you. I think the fact that you have a deadline next week is preventing you from coming to terms with this and moving on. You're delaying youre feelings because of this arrangement next week. I was like "oh shes stressed with exams for two weeks, it will be fine after then". That day came and went It would be very beneficial for you to be in an objective mood for this meet, and not still tangled up with wild confused emotion. but he promised me he would come months ago, and I've been looking forward to it ever sinceWell he made the promise months ago, i guess before you split? Why are you looking forward to it so much? its just one person sitting and listening. I think youre more attached to the idea of seeing him, and expecting some miracle to happen. It wont, I cant see anything happening other than disaster. Possible outcomes are:He says he'll come, but doesnt, then youre upset and cant perform.He comes, sits looking at you, youre wondering what hes thinking, is it good, is it bad? You wont be concentrating.He comes, something happens to make you jealous. you mess upSeeing him at all will upset you.OR he could be impartially friendly, look like hes enjoying himself, congratulate you on a good night. You might get a chat that night, or a reminder of the meet next week.Sorry to be negative, im just trying to be realistic. Id love it to all work out, but you have to think of yourself and your responsibilities. Rocket Link to post Share on other sites
Author MotherGooze Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 But I can't really give up hope that things will work out between us. Maybe I'm in denial I dunno...I just kow what we feel for each other ..maybe you should check out my other thread to understand the situation a bit...I'm still waiting for a reply there. I know I'm emotionally confused; but I know what I've done wrong in the relationship, and what I CAN and WILL do about it. You don't know what you got till it's gone Link to post Share on other sites
Author MotherGooze Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Please tell me I can't contact him, that I have to respect the promise....I want to break NC so badly it's annoying me Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 You don't know what you got till it's gone What did you have? What has gone? Whats so special about him? Write it out to help clarify it in your mind, plus it will give you something to do to avoid breaking NC Link to post Share on other sites
Author MotherGooze Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 If you'd read any of threads maybe you'd understand. I've never felt really at easy with someone, after one of my bf inthe past commited suicide, I was really scared and pulling every boyfriend away. But he is so different, at first I was also pushing him away, but now I want to be with him, I want him to be part of my life. I understand he's scared though, after all the pushing I've done. So here are al the threads I made...from the first break up till now, so that you can see what has happened: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t108569/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t109082/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t109450/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t109690/ <---especially this one is important... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t110140/ Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 I wasn't asking because I dont know, I was asking to see if YOU know. You need to drill down all the emtion and get a handle on how you really feel, and also try and gauge how he feels. If you TRULY think that the only problems were you pulling away from him, then its up to you to do something about it, i agree. What that is however, is up to you. Maybe it would be a good idea to invite him to your gig, perhaps a simple text or email which doesnt require him to reply would be a good idea. Remember what I said earlier though, you have to be prepared for any outcome. Why not put something simple like "hey my gig is on at <place> at <time>. It would be cool if you could come" but in your words obviously Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 but lifes to short, and this is important to you. You really have nothing to lose. I tend to believe this most days... you just have to be ready to not hear what you want to hear.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MotherGooze Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 You're right, I'm sorry if I was being rude or anything. I do know what I feel for him, and I do know what he feels for me. But I'm so confused about the rest of my emotions, about so many things that have happened. It weird's, not needing all those emotions for 23 years and then suddenly really falling in love with someone, and really wanting to be with someone. It's kinda scary, I've always been by myself. Even in a relationship, I've always been the most independent person. But I was too independent. Oh well, even if it doesn't turn out how I would want it to be. I've learned my lesson, and I do hope we could come back together or at least, that I would ever feel this way again for another person...but now I need some rest I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 You're right, I'm sorry if I was being rude or anything. Don't worry Life is too short, I agree. Just make sure whatever action you take, you do so on a clear head. I think thats the best advice for any situation like this. Link to post Share on other sites
resi71 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 maybe he just waiting for that from you to get you back to his life Link to post Share on other sites
Author MotherGooze Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 I'll try and keep on the sunny side of life I need to clear my head first beforemaking any rash decisions. I really want him back, but we both need some time now. Link to post Share on other sites
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