brokenhart2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 What if you were friends with a girl for many years, then became roommates with her, and found her attractive. Would you make a move? (both of you are single by the way)...or, what if she told you she is in love with you. Would she sound crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 What if you were friends with a girl for many years, then became roommates with her, and found her attractive. Would you make a move? Probably. what if she told you she is in love with you. Would she sound crazy? No. If she were in love with me it just means she has good taste. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenhart2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 If anything kept you from making a move, what might that thing be? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 If anything kept you from making a move, what might that thing be? It could be almost anything, really. Things that would prevent me from making a move in that situation: 1. She dated a friend of mine in the past. 2. I was worried about having to find a new place if things didn't work out. 3. I wasn't really attracted to her and she only thought I was. 4. I'm attracted to her enough to f**k her but not enough to date her. FWB would get much more sticky when you're living with the person. 5. I'm not interested in a relationship. 6. Lack of alcohol. Who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenhart2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 What about the times when he gets unneccesarily close to me, like hovering over me at the computer, coming into the bathroom while I'm doing my hair (to throw something away when there's a trash can right in the kitchen!) and is practically in my face to get to the trash can! When I said I'm cold he said "that's cause you need someone to hold you"..these things would happen in the beginning but I blew them off because I didn't want to assume it meant anything. AS time has gone along, these things don't happen anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Maybe he was testing the waters and trying to be subtle about it and he took your blowing him off as rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenhart2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 That's what happens when I'm so determined to hide my feelings. It's a pattern for me..I've lost a few guys that way...I'm affectionate with him though...well in a friendly way...maybe he thinks he's trapped in the "friend zone"? Link to post Share on other sites
AwkwardMan Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 That's what happens when I'm so determined to hide my feelings. It's a pattern for me..I've lost a few guys that way...I'm affectionate with him though...well in a friendly way...maybe he thinks he's trapped in the "friend zone"? It's pretty uncommon for a guy in his place not to be stuck in the friend's zone. I'm attracted to some of my close female friends, but I wouldn't pursue quite a few of them because: a) we met when I was in a relationship, so we are friends and I wouldn't want to hurt that or make it awkward b) they haven't pursued me, so it's more likely than not they aren't interested Now, when I'm not in a relationship, it's very rare for me to make new female friends and not have tried to pursue them. So it's all set with them how we stand. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenhart2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 It's pretty uncommon for a guy in his place not to be stuck in the friend's zone. I'm attracted to some of my close female friends, but I wouldn't pursue quite a few of them because: a) we met when I was in a relationship, so we are friends and I wouldn't want to hurt that or make it awkward b) they haven't pursued me, so it's more likely than not they aren't interested Now, when I'm not in a relationship, it's very rare for me to make new female friends and not have tried to pursue them. So it's all set with them how we stand. So he is only going along with what ever it is he thinks I want? What if I don't want to be in friend zone myself? We have 10yr friendship on the line here. But he knows there was a time when I loved him. Do I just tell him I love him, or just start kissing him? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 I'm affectionate with him though...well in a friendly way...maybe he thinks he's trapped in the "friend zone"? Possibly. If you want him (which I'm assuming you do since you posted this) then try being flirtatious with him in a sexual way rather than just affectionate in a friendly way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenhart2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Possibly. If you want him (which I'm assuming you do since you posted this) then try being flirtatious with him in a sexual way rather than just affectionate in a friendly way. The only thing that's hard about that is, he constantly has other women chasing him, calling him, yadda yadda. He fools around with chicks that are definitely more sexually attractive than me (he works in a bar where the waitresses are young and slutty for gosh sakes). Not that I think I'm not attractive, cuz I am. But if a man is used to perfect 10's chasing him, how could he stay satisfied with say, a 6 or 7 (maybe 8 depending on your taste)...without cheating?! I would definitely have trust issues with him. I've caught him checking me out. But it doesn't mean he has feelings for me. I have done things like leave sexy panties or bras in the bathroom floor. I purposely let cleavage show, stuff like that. In a sense I do flirt...if he makes me laugh I'll touch his leg or something. What else is there? What about, say, asking him to fasten a necklace for me..how I'd love to feel him breathing down my neck... Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 The only thing that's hard about that is, he constantly has other women chasing him, calling him, yadda yadda. He fools around with chicks that are definitely more sexually attractive than me (he works in a bar where the waitresses are young and slutty for gosh sakes). Not that I think I'm not attractive, cuz I am. But if a man is used to perfect 10's chasing him, how could he stay satisfied with say, a 6 or 7 (maybe 8 depending on your taste)...without cheating?! It depends on the guy. As visually oriented as guys are, looks aren't everything. If I had to choose between a 7 who I had a lot in common with and a lot of fun with versus a 10 who I didn't really click with on the same level, I'd choose the former in a heartbeat. Beauty has a much shorter shelf-life than intellectual stimulation. I have done things like leave sexy panties or bras in the bathroom floor. I purposely let cleavage show, stuff like that. In a sense I do flirt...if he makes me laugh I'll touch his leg or something. What else is there? What about, say, asking him to fasten a necklace for me..how I'd love to feel him breathing down my neck... That last part is good. When you said you were cold and he said "that's cause you need someone to hold you" I would bet money that he was fishing for a response like "Then come hold me" or whatever. Stuff like that. Just turn up the heat a notch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenhart2007 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Ok I'll try that...but I also need to get a talk in with him, about our living situation, blah blah blah...his kids visit and I've become pretty fond of them as a family. It makes this whole thing even harder...he used to say we should get a house when the lease is up...(another thing I blew off)...I mean a house is a major thing...unless he's just using me as a babysitter...it's crossed my mind..but I'm trying not to think of him that way...but why get a house with someone you are not dating? Now that's not what you call "subtle"! Thanks for your advice tanbark you've been great! Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Happy to help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenhart2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 I have family in SF, I will look ya up next time I go! Link to post Share on other sites
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