cheater wants ex back.

[vivrantflo]

Hey ladies, thank you very much for your support during my time of pain and regret. I also thank you all for the well wishes.. You know, at times I feel that I do deserve all the things that happend to me, because I cheated.. but on the flip side, I was REALLY angry for how she treated me in the last few months. However, I decided to let the whole situation go, and move on with my life. All my friends were telling me to give up from the time they found out she had another man. But I felt as someone that messed up the relationship, I should have stuck around to prove my love, and try and earn a second chance.. instead, I wasted 7 months of my life chasing this girl.

 

Luckily, I am now dating the lady that I was with from before. I apologized, and begged for a second chance with this woman, and I have been fortunate to be granted a second chance.

 

Since then I've received an email from my ex saying that I'm still a lair and a cheat, cause she thinks that I tried to get her back, while I had a "stripper chick" on the side. Called me trash and her trash, cause we're two people that screwed up in life, and is struggling to make it right. Pretty much put and her down.

 

I responded to her with comments such as.."Well, I, unlike your boyfriend, can say that my woman hasn't lied or cheated on me, so im quite happy where I am thank you." I didn't even bother explain to her that I had broken my current woman's heart just to stand another chance with her. I gave her a little piece of my mind, and we havent spoke since.

 

So I just thought I'd give u guys that update, just to let you know how I've been, and what has happend. I WILL post here if anything comes up, since life is so unpredictable lol And I'm sure you'll see me around posting from time to time trying to help people avoid making the same mistakes I did! Blessings!

[fetish]

 

Since then I've received an email from my ex saying that I'm still a lair and a cheat, cause she thinks that I tried to get her back, while I had a "stripper chick" on the side. Called me trash and her trash, cause we're two people that screwed up in life, and is struggling to make it right. Pretty much put and her down.

 

Dang, it sure did take her a long time to say that all the while she was actually dating you and cheating on her boyfriend at the same time with you. That actually shows what kind of person she is and what you may have possibly been going through had you stayed w/ her. I guess things end up working out for the best. It seems to me that this was supposed to happen.

 

Is your current gf hotter than she was? You did mention she's a stripper so i'm guessing so!

[Foreva86]

Good on you! You deserve to be happy. At least you got to learn who she truly is. Things happen for a reason. She's just jealous. Can't stand the thought of you dating another woman. Why cant she just leave you alone and let you live your own life. Pretty selfish of her.

[vivrantflo]

Foreva86, who knows why she won't leave me alone.. Really, whenever I think that I understand most women, I really have no clue. If I want someone, I'm gonna go for it.. if I don't want someone, im not gonna call them repeatedly and lead them on.. it makes no sense to me. But she just turned 21, so it's alright for her to show her age during times of pain and confusion. I made my bed, and had to sleep in it.. now she has to grow up, and live with the choice she made.

 

Fetish whats up man? I hope you're doing well in your situation, and u havent done anything u regret. In terms of my situation, I would have never guessed that things would have ended up like this. I was planning on marrying this woman.. I still find it a sad situation. As for my current woman, she used to strip like four years ago, but she has turned her life around, and is working towards a respectable career.. I'm proud of her. No lie, physically, she's naturally flawless... but what's more important.. she's trustworthy, kind, mature, funny, and I love to be around her.

[finalf30]

VIVRANTFLO, I'm verrrry interested in your story - I know it's in the past, and you may not even feel like discussing it anymore - but I have a lot of questions, having gone through a similar situation recently. I don't know how to contact you aside from this soooo yeah I'll just leave it at that!

[vivrantflo]

Sure, I would love to chat with you sometime! Whats your email address? I can add you to msn and we can go from there!

[bish]

Original poster here.. My ex tells me almost every single day that if she knew that I wouldnt cheat again, she would drop this guy quicker than a pound of canadian bacon.

 

Then she isn't much of a keeper. She'd drop a guy that was faithful and good to her, to go back with someone that f#cked her over in the worst way?

 

What is wrong with some people?

[bish]

Got quite an update on my situation.. it's been a few months since I last posted.. well, she is still with her boyfriend now. Thing is, in the last two months, she has been coming over here and hanging out with me. We have slept together on more than one occasion.. probably around 4 or 5 times behind her boyfriend's back.

 

Then you two deserve each other. By you two being together your saving two other people.

 

She does stand firm that she wants to be with him,

 

She is no better than you. She is a cheater too. Sounds like this guy deserves better than her.

 

 

HE ended it, cause she apparently had trust issues with him..

 

Huh?...she cheats on him, but SHE has trust issues with him? Talk about being a hypocrite.

 

she then proceeded to tell me that her ex claimed to have made a mistake, and wanted her back, and she's gonna go for him again

 

Damn is he a freakin' fool. If only he knew how worthless she is.

 

Now my issue is this.. Yes, I cheated on her, but I have grown since then, cause the incident was a year ago. I would never cheat on her, or anyone else ever again..

 

But you slept with someone elses girlfriend. You are still exhibiting the same lousy behavior. I don't think you have changed at all.

[bish]

Shelley's Trying, you've gone from being supportive of me, to hating me, but thats alright. But I have a question... since your husband cheated on you, what was it, 5 or 6 years ago, do you have your husband's balls squeezed figuratively still? Are you looking to get back at him? Have you already?? And thrown it in his face??

 

Her husband needs his balls in a vice.

 

If she throws it in his face once in a while, so what? He needs to be reminded that she hasn't forgotten what he did to her and that she won't take his shi!t anymore.

[vivrantflo]

Bish, in her defense.. why she would drop a guy that she barely knows for a guy that she was with for 3 and a half years isn't that hard to figure out. I'm not being vain, but she hopped into this guy's bed two weeks after we broke up. So of course she was hurt and confused. Our relationship didn't end on her terms, so her feelings were still there. THAT's why she said she would come back to me if she knew I wouldnt cheat again.

 

I dont know how to quote on this thing, so I won't be able to refute your points clearly..

 

Now I agree with you in the point that my ex is a hypocrite.. She dumped me for cheating and lying, and now she did it herself to her man. Makes sense.. you become whom you can't forgive.

 

Another point I agree with, is yes, her man is a fool. If you choose to get into a serious relationship with someone that was in a 3 year relationship and just got cheated on 2 weeks prior.. then you get whats coming to you. The dude is 29, he's old enough to realize that she was rebounding.. he even called her on that. So her cheating on him with me comes as no surprize, and it shouldnt have been a surprize to him either. Oh wait, she denied sleeping with me to him.. so never mind.

 

You say I havent changed cause I "slept with someone else's girlfriend." Well, I didn't see her as "someone else's girlfriend" because I had just spent the last 3 1/2 years with her. So really, when I was with her, I had ZERO regard for this other guy. And I still don't.

 

No one is perfect. People will always make mistakes. But what makes a person is how you learn from them, and how to carry yourself afterwards. I've learnt that cheating is selfish, dirty, deceitful, and that breaking someone's heart is the worst feeling in the world. I'm just not capable of breaking another woman's heart like that ever again.

[bish]

Bish, in her defense.. why she would drop a guy that she barely knows for a guy that she was with for 3 and a half

years isn't that hard to figure out.

 

About as hard to figure out why someone who claims he loves her for 3 1/2 years goes out and WILLINGLY f#cks some other girl.

And it wasn't a mistake. You wanted to do it.

 

She's smart...that is not hard to figure out. She'd rather be with a good guy she has only known for a short while as opposed to someone that stuck his sprout in another girl...3 years or not.

 

Now I agree with you in the point that my ex is a hypocrite.. She dumped me for cheating and lying, and now she did it herself to her man. Makes sense.. you become whom you can't forgive.

 

Only the weak become like their betrayers. And you just said it yourself. She became you, someone she can't forgive. So if she can't forgive you, maybe you should leave her alone.

 

Another point I agree with, is yes, her man is a fool. If you choose to get into a serious relationship with someone that was in a 3 year relationship and just got cheated on 2 weeks prior.. then you get whats coming to you.

 

No, hes a fool for taking her back after she cheated on him. He is not a fool for dating someone that just got out of a serious relationship. And nobody EVER has it coming to them if they are honest and true to that person. If he had started a relationship with her while STILL with you, then he had it coming to him because he didn't care about someone elses feelings.

 

The dude is 29, he's old enough to realize that she was rebounding..

 

And you are 27, not 16. You should know better than to betray someone you claim to love. And you should also know better than to be with someone so immature. I guarantee, if you had done this to a real woman, she would dump you and never look back. she wouldn't be this immature little girl that cheats on someone else and calls you like a homesick puppy.

 

You say I havent changed cause I "slept with someone else's girlfriend." Well, I didn't see her as "someone else's girlfriend" because I had just spent the last 3 1/2 years with her.

 

Ah, so you own her even after betraying her and she left you. I see now.

 

So really, when I was with her, I had ZERO regard for this other guy. And I still don't.

 

That makes you selfish which rests my case about you not changing.

 

No one is perfect. People will always make mistakes.

 

cheating is not a mistake. you stuck your lil smokie in another girl because you wanted to. It was a conscious decision to gratify yourself. No mistake about that.

 

But what makes a person is how you learn from them, and how to carry yourself afterwards.

 

funny you mention that, because you aren't conducting yourself honorably in the aftermath. You have no regard for someone that is trying to make her happy, you sleep with someone elses girlfriend....and with someone who has now become just as bad as you. Simply saying you love her doesn't cut it.

 

I've learnt that cheating is selfish, dirty, deceitful, and that breaking someone's heart is the worst feeling in the world.

 

And then you go off and become an accomplice to that even after you came to that realization. So you have learned those things, but you still do them.

[vivrantflo]

Alright, so because someone deliberately makes a choice, and it is the wrong choice.. it's not a mistake?? Not ALL mistakes are accidents. I made the choice to cheat, and yes it was a mistake.

 

You say I should leave her alone. I say, you should read my post over again and get the facts straight.

 

How can he be a fool for taking her back, when she's denying the fact that she slept with me? Dude(or lady), read my story first, then make responses. He is a fool for going after a 20 year old just just got out of a 3 year relationship, and was cheated on two weeks prior. If you disagree, then maybe that's a hint as to why you signed up on here to begin with.

 

First she's smart for not coming back to me, and now you say she's a "little immature girl" which is it? Cause it's definately not both.

 

I really wish I knew I how to quote

 

I never said anything about owning her. I saw her as my woman cause that's how I saw her in the last three years. If that's so hard to understand, then I don't know how else to explain that to you.

 

So now im selfish cause I don't care about the guy she's dating? Why should I care about him? Does he care about me? Please, you tell me.. why should i care about this guy?? Cause I'm dying to hear the answer to this one

 

As for your last points.. The last time I slept with her, was the last week in March. And a LOT has happend since then. Perhaps you should start reading from page 3 or 4, be familiar with my story, then feel free to make as many comments as you wish. Thanks for your responses

[norajane]

I really wish I knew I how to quote

 

At the bottom right of every post, there is a button labeled "quote".

 

Then you can edit the quote if you want to delete something from it to leave only the relevant piece, like I've done with yours.

[love necessity]

Well, if you cheated on her you must not have cared about her feelings in the first place, and now that your lonely and you see that she was the one, you all of a sudden want her back? Personally, if I was this girl, I would've left ya along time ago. You can't have your cake and eat it too, especially when it comes to someones feelings. It's not fair. You seem controlling. You can't just cheat on someone and expect them to have respect for you afterwards. It's insane. I would lose all trust if my boyfriend did that to me. I would say just leave it be.

 

By the way, if she comes around to see you, but doesn't make an effort to talk about "fixing" the relationship, then she's just trying to control you like you did to her over the course of 2.5 years. Eventually, she'll get tired of doing it, and stop.

 

But, your feelings will be on the line, and it'll take you forever to get over what you thought you never had.

 

Here's some advice. Get over her while you can. You obviously didn't care about her when you cheated so use the same thought that you used while you were cheating on her to get over her. Eventually you will, and then maybe, just maybe you could find another girl who'll trust you. Only if you trust yourself though.

 

=)

[finalf30]

[email protected] ~ thanks so much, vivrantflo! talk to you soon.

[vivrantflo]

Thanks Norajane.. but how do I quote and comment, quote and comment like what Bish has done in my post?

[vivrantflo]

Love Necessity, When I cheated on her, I wanted to work things out with her right away. I didn't wait until I was lonely to realize that I wanted her back.

 

And you say that I seem controlling.. how? I never demanded a second chance with her, I asked for one, and never got it. So I left her alone. SHE was the one that was sending me text messeges, emails, phone calls, and giving me unexpected visits to my appartment.

 

How dare you say that I was controlling her for the last 2.5 years?? Oh I'm sorry.. you must have been the fly on wall that I couldnt swat all this time.

 

I was gonna refute the rest of your post, but you're talking down to me and putting me down.. and you don't even have the facts straight. Actually read the thread from the beginning. But don't worry.. maybe, just maybe you'll post on someone's thread who will appreciate it.

[norajane]

Thanks Norajane.. but how do I quote and comment, quote and comment like what Bish has done in my post?

 

Have you ever clicked on the quote button at the end of a post to quote the whole thing? If you have, then you've seen the quote commands at the beginning and end of the quote. Those are called tags.

 

You have to put in the tags where you want to start and end the quote. You can do it a couple of ways. The easiest is to highlight the section you want to quote, then click on the little beige box above the reply box (the beige box is to the left of the # sign). That will insert the tags at the beginning and end of the section you highlighted.

 

Or you can type the commands yourself. To start a quote, this tag has to go at the beginning of the words you are quoting:

 

And at the end of the quote, you type the exact same tag, but insert a forward slash / in front of the q in quote.

 

It should look like this in your reply box.

 

Except you have to insert the forward slash in front of the q in the second

tag. I'd do it here so you know what it looks like, but it would execute the command and you would just see the result and not the tags.

 

Once you've put in the tags, you can delete the other stuff you aren't quoting and you can insert your replies in between the quotes.

[love necessity]

Love Necessity, When I cheated on her, I wanted to work things out with her right away. I didn't wait until I was lonely to realize that I wanted her back.

 

And you say that I seem controlling.. how? I never demanded a second chance with her, I asked for one, and never got it. So I left her alone. SHE was the one that was sending me text messeges, emails, phone calls, and giving me unexpected visits to my appartment.

 

How dare you say that I was controlling her for the last 2.5 years?? Oh I'm sorry.. you must have been the fly on wall that I couldnt swat all this time.

 

I was gonna refute the rest of your post, but you're talking down to me and putting me down.. and you don't even have the facts straight. Actually read the thread from the beginning. But don't worry.. maybe, just maybe you'll post on someone's thread who will appreciate it.

 

I wasn't trying to offend you. You don't have to take it so personal. I was just clearly stating my opinion. That is what a forum is for. Or, is it that you don't want to hear my opinion, because you think that only you are right? This is a big world, and every person has her/his own opinion. You can't go around telling on people because someone offended you. Grow some skin, because to live in this world, you'll need a thick one.

 

If you want to "report" my opinion, go ahead, but you'll just get laughed at. Maybe you shouldn't be here if that is what you think.

 

I am not going to go back and read what I wrote, because you shouldn't have cheated on her in the first place. She did right by not taking you back or whatever. I sure wouldn't have either if I was in the same predicament. I would've played you like a fool, just like she did. And yes, you did waste her time, because you cheated. If you want to sleep around with two or more woman, I suggest you become a Mormon or something.

[love necessity]

Got quite an update on my situation.. it's been a few months since I last posted.. well, she is still with her boyfriend now. Thing is, in the last two months, she has been coming over here and hanging out with me. We have slept together on more than one occasion.. probably around 4 or 5 times behind her boyfriend's back.

 

Haha...How dare you say that you are so done with "CHEATING", yet you tolerate her cheating on him??? You sound like a hypocrite.

 

Cheaters will always be cheaters--whether they are participating in a love triangle somehow or are actually doing the cheating themselves. You just proved that.

 

She does stand firm that she wants to be with him, but always gets excited when she gets to hang out with me.. ie. walks in the mall, shopping for my pets, hanging out.. As for me, I still want her back desperately, but she's still with that guy. Last week, the two of them broke up.. HE ended it, cause she apparently had trust issues with him.. obviously my fault.. see, her and I live in the same city, but her current boyfriend lives 30mins away. When she got dumped, I was the first person she called to let me know what happend... crying to me over another man.. it hurt to hear her hurting, but at the same time, relieved that that relationship was over.. or so I thought..

 

Don't worry, she'll be back with him sooner or later. And if she is with you, she is probably sleeping with him. You showed her that it was ok, so she'll do it. You basically said, it's ok to cheat on me, just as long as I still have you. HAHA..Your a loser.

OH, and this is another reason I don't use public bathrooms...Because of stuff like that!

 

 

 

 

Now my issue is this.. Yes, I cheated on her, but I have grown since then, cause the incident was a year ago. I would never cheat on her, or anyone else ever again.. But I do love this woman to death. I'm hanging on, cause they've only been officially together 2 months, and already broke up once.. And her and I have 3 years of history together..so I dont know what to do.. She says that I'm her best friend, and that she loves me.. and hasnt closed the door on being with me again.. So what do I do? I think it speaks volumes that she still considers me her best friend, after I ripped her heart out by cheating.. and the fact that she still gave her body to me afterwards..I've established NC since then, and it's been a week.. do I stick with NC, or do I still talk to her? I want her back, so I'd love the correct advice on how to handle this situation. I look forward to your responses..

 

More like 3 years of depression and hate.!! Right?

 

And I quote of sentence from your mouth

"and the fact that she still gave her body to me afterwards.."

 

Yuck...Is that all you care about...IT's no wonder she cheated on you...

 

If I could give her advice. I would tell her to stay away, honey..Go far.far.far.far---AWAY!!

[love necessity]

If that person were the one true love of your life, you never would have cheated! The person that you love you don't get selfish and hurt! And why should you have a second chance to expose her to all kinds of stds including aids because you feel guilty. Yes, you cheated, and it wasn't a mistake. A mistake is something you do accidentally, or when you leave the toilet seat up. What you did was a choice. You made a choice to have sex with someone you weren't committed to because you were lonely, boo hoo. Life isn't going to always go your way, and you can't take it upon yourself to hurt some one else to get your rocks off! Just like a drunk driver or a crack head, You made the choice to do something that was detrimental to yourself and others. Learn from your actions and suffer the consequences like a real man, instead of the selfish little boy you've been so far:mad:

 

I have been reading this mans comments for a couple days now. It seems like your the only one who agrees that this guy was wrong. The original poster cheated on his girlfriend, and thought that was ok?? No, it's not ok to go around hurting people. Don't you agree? Then the guy you quoted one posting up sounds like a total moron. HAHA.. What is it with people these days? I'm not perfect, but I can sure say that I have been sleeping with the same man for 4 years, and never once had the urge to go get laid somewhere else. Because I LOVE my boyfriend, and would be so hurt if I ever did anything like that to him. Which is why I don't and never will. These days, people think that it is ok to go sleeping around. It's really not though, because Bacterial, Viral, and Fungal infections are on the rise these days. I was just giving advice to a girl on here who caught "Herpes Simplex" from her man of 6 years. Now, that should say something.

 

~

[bish]

Alright, so because someone deliberately makes a choice, and it is the wrong choice.. it's not a mistake?? Not ALL mistakes are accidents. I made the choice to cheat, and yes it was a mistake.

 

You say I should leave her alone. I say, you should read my post over again and get the facts straight.

 

Actually after finding out that she cheated on this other guy, I'd say you two should get back together. Then you both can cheat on each other all you like. You'd be saving two other people on this planet if you were with her.

 

How can he be a fool for taking her back, when she's denying the fact that she slept with me? Dude(or lady), read my story first, then make responses.

 

Maybe you should keep track of what you write. You said that he found out she cheated on him...sleeping with you or not, he found out and took her back.

 

First she's smart for not coming back to me, and now you say she's a "little immature girl" which is it? Cause it's definately not both.

 

Sure you can, you can be immature, but at least have some smarts about you. Besides..there is a timeline going on here with your posts.

 

I say she is smart for not taking you back...then later I find out in another post from you that she cheated on him.

 

So now im selfish cause I don't care about the guy she's dating? Why should I care about him? Does he care about me? Please, you tell me.. why should i care about this guy?? Cause I'm dying to hear the answer to this one

 

Its a simple thing called common decency. I'd never sleep with someone elses gf or wife.

 

As for your last points.. The last time I slept with her, was the last week in March. And a LOT has happend since then. Perhaps you should start reading from page 3 or 4, be familiar with my story, then feel free to make as many comments as you wish. Thanks for your responses

 

Ya I did. And I have mixed feelings over it. On one hand its good that she is away from you, but since I find out later that she is a cheater too....I'd almost like to see you two get back together. Cuz like I said, you'd be saving two other people by being together.

[bish]

I have been reading this mans comments for a couple days now. It seems like your the only one who agrees that this guy was wrong.

 

Oh no...I agree he was wrong as well....so was she...they actually deserve each other. That way they can screw each other over and leave other people alone.

[vivrantflo]

Love Necessity, why would I report anything that you have to say? I don't know you, or care to. This is a public forum, and anyone is welcome to comment. But you were stating points that made no sense. You have not been a witness to my relationship with my ex, therefore you do not know how I treated her prior to me cheating. So you made a judegment on the relationship, which isnt fair. Then u make comments about how I should become a Mormon. lol you're a funny funny girl.. Read my posts, and you'll see that whole bunch of Loveshackers used to hate me at first.. but because they READ my updates, I earned their respect afterwards. Just because you're losing your man cause you're too lazy to go to a gym, doesnt mean you come on here and make yourself feel better by putting someone down that has been hurting.

 

Bish Bish Bish.. READ my updates.. I stated that he was informed by a thrid party, that my ex cheated on him with me.. but because she denied it, he took her back. I've seen you comment on other people's posts, and you're really ignorant and rude. I think you need to relax a little.

 

Badmood, me desiring a second chance with my ex is NOT selfish. She didn't have to come back to me, and she didn't. So I left her alone and moved on to someone else. I believe I did admit that I made a huge mistake, and that I deserve what I got. But you, like these other two.. didn't read everything, and comment on posts you wish.. look how old that comment was that you quoted!!

 

What's with these people and NOT reading posts?? It's like you want to vent your anger from your OWN issues, on someone else! I havent tried to get my ex back in quite a while. When I mentioned what happend for her birthday, it was for the people that have READ all my posts, and was following the story. You notice how it's only the newer posters thats showing animosity, and the ones that have been following have actually taken my side? At least in the latter part of my story?

 

I'm in a relationship with someone else and happy. I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm applying my learnt lessons to my new relationship. Love Necessity, people whom have cheated, don't always cheat again. It really depends on how they were brought up, what they lost, and how much pain they went through because of their actions. We are not machines.. we are functional human beings.. we can change with effort and help.

[bish]

I've seen you comment on other people's posts, and you're really ignorant and rude. I think you need to relax a little.

 

No, cheaters are ignorant and rude...not to mention selfish.