Paulie Posted September 28, 2002 Share Posted September 28, 2002 The best way to approach a woman, by far is the following, hands down. I challenge anyone to tell me differently. I will use the context of a bar as an example, but the underlying ideas work anywhere. Go stand near her...listen to what she and her friends are talking about. Dont be obvious, just try to overhear...get to know a little what she's like, or some little tid-bit conversation piece. Then when the time is right, simply say "Hi" or "hello"...She will say hi back...ask her what her name is, and then follow by asking her some other question, like "I heard you guys talking about The Sopranos...did you see last night's?"...you will then be talking to her. Then, here's the killer...ask her "so tell me more about yourself," and use her name alot in the conversation...ask her ABOUT HER, and dont talk a bit about yourself, unless asked. Women want to feel understood, and when they feel understood, they'll feel EMPATHY, and want you to be a part of their world. Trust me, they'll find out whatever it is that they want to find out about you. If she asks why you are so interested in knowing about her, simply reply "is that such a bad thing," in a flirtatious way. Too many guys talk all about themselves, and deep down, a woman senses insecurity in that. You're trying to sell yourself, and you dont show this genuine interest in the woman. Every idiot in the bar wants to get in her pants, but you want to get to know her also. This is huge. Dont be afraid to ask her if she has a boyfriend, straight out, when the time is appropriate. If she doesnt, after a little bit more time, talk about how nobody in this city knows the little gems that make great dates. Suggest a few. They shouldnt be NECESSARILY expensive or outlandish places, as this might just be percieved as selling yourself again. They should be unique, and not often thought of gems. One example I like is the train ride at our city's science center. Chances are that by this point, she'll say something to the effect of "nobody ever takes me to places like that"...to which you simply ask for her e-mail address or phone number. This is how its done. Paulie Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted September 28, 2002 Share Posted September 28, 2002 excuse me while I go puke... Maybe it's just that sad picture of Howard Stern under your name that makes your "advice" so hard to swallow. Anyways, thanks because now I'll be sure to be on the look out for creeps like you... "pretending" to be interested in what I have to say! and in a bar, too! ha! p.s. if you've happened to have read my recent post, maybe you'll understand why I'm so bitter these days... but probably not! Link to post Share on other sites
Guinness Posted September 29, 2002 Share Posted September 29, 2002 Well, I think you are somewhat right. I mean there are a lot of worse ways to trying to get to know a woman. And generally if I am not interested I wouldn't even reply to your hello. And if I am looking for a flirt I might join in. But then, most intelligent women get quite soon if what you are saying is just pretend or if you really mean it. And when you are found out, believe me, wrath will be the answer! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Paulie Posted September 29, 2002 Author Share Posted September 29, 2002 I might have misrepresented myself...I, as well as alot of guys I know, are actually well intentioned...we do want to get to know the girl...we just screw up with these lines and no-brained approaches... what I'm trying to say in my previous post is to just express that interest! Dont just talk about yourself. In retrospect, I might have sounded like abit of a womanizer, when in fact, I genuinely would love to be happy with a great girl. Paulie Link to post Share on other sites
Guinness Posted September 29, 2002 Share Posted September 29, 2002 I think women are generally less difficult to handle then men think! If a guy is trying to talk to me and he does not sound like a total womanizer I generally join the conversation (if I'm single and looking). So did you have much success with your method? Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted September 29, 2002 Share Posted September 29, 2002 you sound like maybe you do really respect women, but what's with the Howard Stern thingie then? I could go on and on how I can't stand him - the way he objectifies women etc. I'll take you more seriously if you could remove his ugly face from under your name when you post. Just an idea to consider... Link to post Share on other sites
Tracey Posted September 29, 2002 Share Posted September 29, 2002 Yeah Paulie, you did come off as a little arrogant in that post, although I'm sure you had good intentions. I just don't think you can really generalise about what women want. We're not all after "relationships". I mean seriously, if some guy started talking to me about how exciting the science centre is I'd laugh in his face. I respond more to guys who like to pash rather than talk. I can talk about myself with my friends! Besides, in this day and age a guy who starts asking 20 questions about you is bound to seem a little creepy. I once told a guy where I worked and was basically stalked at my office for 6 months. Girls are wary. Although I do think it's a good tactic not to boast about yourself away; guys who brag are insecure losers. What I think you're missing is that most women want HONESTY above anything else. This doesn't mean saying, "Hey I really want to f&%@ you." But it does mean being genuine instead of playing games. The "real you" will be revealed eventually, so if you're not naturally suave don't try to be. I think that everyone should try a 'pick up method' that suits their individual style and needs. If a guy is only after casual sex, for example, he shouldn't talk to his prey about all the great restaurants he knows about. Instead the conversation should flit around the idea of sex. If the woman is offended by this then she wouldn't have had a one night stand with him anyway! I don't know if I'm making much sense here. All I'm saying is that it's fine to put on the Sensitive New Age Guy act if you are genuinly like that. But if you're style is more Rough and Tumble, go with that and who knows - it might lead you to your ideal woman! Link to post Share on other sites
Angel Posted September 29, 2002 Share Posted September 29, 2002 ...if a man used that approach with me (and I were available and looking) and I sensed some sincerity and physical attraction-----------it would work with me. Good advice. Men talk about themselves too much and try to falsely impress and it is sooo obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted September 30, 2002 Share Posted September 30, 2002 Paulie has it figured out. If you read up on how to get people to like you, or how to make friends, that is EXACTLY how you do it. Lighten up, People. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted September 30, 2002 Share Posted September 30, 2002 Women are NOT easier to deal with than men. Women are hormonal, emotional and time bombs...how is that easy? I don't blame men for being gay! And all of you females have proven my point by the way you responded. Why is it that women just expect guys to deal with our bullsh*t, and then if they don't, they are just jerks or players? MOST women have a serious case of double standards. No guy is ever under ANY obligation to a female, just bc she's a female. Women need to respect men more and give them more credit. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflyz Posted October 2, 2002 Share Posted October 2, 2002 that paulie was just sharing an idea for men to break the ice and get to know women. relax people. Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted October 2, 2002 Share Posted October 2, 2002 I was a little hard on you, I believe now when I read your post again that you were trying to be sincere! I've just been having a rough time these past few times - a lot of it has to do with trusting etc. So... Can I just add one more thing? I think someone else said something similar in an earlier post, but my advice to you all you guys who are trying to meet a nice girl is: BE YOURSELF! and "keep it real" Someone who is confident (but not over-confident!), sincere and honest is definitely a turn-on! At least that's what I'm looking for! good luck! p.s. I still don't like the Howard Stern thing! Link to post Share on other sites
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