Darla Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Well there are two things I wanted to ask and talk about. 1. Yesterday after school I went to spend time with my boyfriend, we had just both got back from our classes, we go to different colleges in the area. He said if I came over to expect him to be either doing homework or sleeping so not to expect too much. But after we both studied some he went to the restroom and was gone for a really long time. I assumed he was using #2 haha. So anyways, I went by the door to ask him a question, and I heard this scrubing sound. I waited and still kept hearing it, it didn't sound like him wiping. To me it sounded like him scrubing off or cleaning himself off, like he does after we have sex. So I did get a lil worried about that. He came out and I asked him what took him so long, he was like yea I was using the restroom. I asked him why I heard scrubing sounds that seemed to take a long time. He said he was scrubing or wiping his butt. haha. I'm like okay, that doesn't sound right, it doesn't take that kind of cleaning. He was like YEAA like a scoff laugh it does for me. So I kinda dropped it but kept thinking what if he had been with another girl, and before him and I did anything he wanted to clean off? So yea, later on I asked him about it, saying I felt uncomfortable and honestly saying I said I thought you were scrubing to clean off from like the condom or another girls discharge or whatever. We were lying down in the bed and he grabbed me and said hun no, thats not what I was doing, and said I was his girl and he isn't like that. Again saying he was cleaning his butt haha. He said if I didn't believe him he would go show me, I was like no thats ridiculous. So anyways, his calm manner of reaction, is that often a guys approach if he actually is cheating??? Sorry about the kinda gross like paragraph, but if he is cheating its very serious to me and quite obvious that people don't like to admit these things. 2. He knows I don't like porn but he has it on his computer, I was using the internet and on mozilla saw the top website on the scroll as myfreepaysite a porn page. He uses. Or has in the past I know. I actually looked in his recycling bin and saw some porn files, I looked where they were on the computer, and saw that they were in a video folder and opened it up, and actually turned on one of the videos. so when he walked in the room I showed him how disgusted I was an upset that he had porn on his computer, when he knows I don't like him watching it. and he agreed that since we are together he wont be looking at it...although he keeps saying its a guy thing and all guys watch porn and if they dont they are lying...I don't believe that but whatever. So I saw the date as jan 19th when he had downloaded the file. he said to me its been a while, that was less than a week ago. he told me his friends come over and watch porn and all of his friends have. and he has watched it at their houses and so on that guys do this. I just find it disgusting, and even though he isn't touching them, he is getting turned on by it masturbating and its just disturbing to me it feels like a way of cheating..does anyone else feel this way? How do you approach your boyfriend about porn? Do you think its okay? - Darla Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Initial thought... Wow. First off... the porn thing. Don't know what else to say but you need to be able to deal with it. It doesn't make us disgusting or perverted, it just means that we are sexual people. You know my girlfriend looks at porn on the internet too (well, me too) and there's nothing disgusting about her. That's something you either need to learn to respect or leave because you can't expect him to stop doing something that is innocent like that. Hell, he's not paying for it... that's a good sign. As far as the scrubbing thing? I'm not touching that with someone else's 10' pole. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Just1More Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 well i dunno bout the scrubbing, but the porn u say u go to diff colleges? how often do u see eachother? my guess is if u dont see him that often wat else should he do think of it this way its better then him getting a girl once in a while, does that do anything 4 u? Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Wow, is right... He was probably *cracks, as bit of laughter escapes him* whacking off in the bathroom. Okay, okay, perhaps he was washing his booty crack after all! To me, it doesn't seem like he was doing anything you should be THAT concerned about, although, I'd too be a little skeptical of his actions. As for Porn, Krytellan is right: You can either love it or hate it, but never let it cause you to judge someone. For example, my girlfriend hates porn and always becomes so upset if she found any traces of it around me. Anyway, turns out she watches & downloads porn too! Hypocritical? I'd say so! Link to post Share on other sites
Darla Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Thanks for the replies. Yea I take sex and sexual acts as precious, something for someone u actually care for, not a stranger, so to me I do get disgusted seeing porn. and for it to be seen by others, because it should be a personal thing...but oh well. Yea I know a lot of girls do like it too...just not me. -Darla Link to post Share on other sites
Darla Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 [quote= 2. He knows I don't like porn but he has it on his computer, I was using the internet and on mozilla saw the top website on the scroll as myfreepaysite a porn page. He uses. Or has in the past I know. I actually looked in his recycling bin and saw some porn files, I looked where they were on the computer, and saw that they were in a video folder and opened it up, and actually turned on one of the videos. so when he walked in the room I showed him how disgusted I was an upset that he had porn on his computer, when he knows I don't like him watching it. and he agreed that since we are together he wont be looking at it...although he keeps saying its a guy thing and all guys watch porn and if they dont they are lying...I don't believe that but whatever. So I saw the date as jan 19th when he had downloaded the file. he said to me its been a while, that was less than a week ago. he told me his friends come over and watch porn and all of his friends have. and he has watched it at their houses and so on that guys do this. I just find it disgusting, and even though he isn't touching them, he is getting turned on by it masturbating and its just disturbing to me it feels like a way of cheating..does anyone else feel this way? How do you approach your boyfriend about porn? Do you think its okay? - Darla Okay so saturday again I found porn on his computer, right on the desktop, titled that way, and obviously the porn site in internet explorer, when I grab the down arrow to go to the site I want. Anyways, so I confronted him about him very upset of course. He said all guys need visualization or something to help relieve themselves. anyways, long silence, him ignoring me, me him, me crying hiding and whatever, eventually he came and wanted to talk and decided that he would give it up for me because it meant that much and to prove a point. I dunno what the point is he is talking about. I said guys can do it, and not all guys agree porn is right morally. You know I said if I made videos of pics of me would that help. He said no he needed to see the actual act, so I said well then videos of me werent good enough alone. Not really wanting to do videos of him and I, but said I would if I had to. I explained it made me feel like he had a second girlfriend, even though he didn't touch her, he looked. & I wanted me to be the only one he looked at because he is the only one I look at. So anyways, the good news is he says he will stop watching it for me. I did say good and thank you, and said if he wants to look at it, not to hide it from me, but to tell me right away he is trying to go back to using it, and we'd talk about why he couldn't handle not having it. I'll be available now for him sexually as well since my work schedule has changed so I hope that will help with him not having as many urges to need to look at porn or use it for masturbation. Anyways I hope he can last and doesnt need to use it, or that if he does he talks to me about it. Wish us luck! -Darla Link to post Share on other sites
Darla Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 So last week I was using my boyfriend computer...and right on his desktop were Girls Gone Wild and some other Video...he was gone, he had a job interview, so I was waiting at his house for him to get back. I called him nicely asked why it was on there...asked if he was having problems keeping his promise not to watch porn he got mad and said no. I had checked the properties and they were created the day before I found them, accessed, and modified on same day. So yea, to me thats clue enough he had been downloading porn. He swore that it was only downloaded, he didn't break the rule because he didn't watch it. I implying he was lying because it sounds retarted to download it and not watch it. He says it was to save up a collection, in case he ever does need it, because it takes a while to upload. He already had some old videos on his computer I knew about, and I knew he hadn't deleted them. So why upload new ones for the collection. & his history bar for IE was empty, cause when I was going to the internet to drag down to myspace I noticed everything was cleared. I initially thought he was trying to hide it by clearing the history, but he left it on the desktop ooops. Anyways, I got so upset and just left his house and went home while he was still gone without really talking much about it. Later that day he yelled at me like crazy called me on the phone after text messages back and forwarth of him angrily saying believe what you want but I didn't watch the videos and so forwarth. His friend who was with him at the time also my friend even called to see what was up cause he was yelling so much at me. I didn't deserve to be yelled at and he says technically he didn't break the promise because he didnt look at them. Whatever...its still prancing around it...just upset, I just hope this doesn't excalate again, he did apologize by text later after the phone call saying he is sorry he yelled at me. At least I got that much. I just hope he is being truthful about not watching porn, but I wish he wouldnt be still downloading it anyways..GRRRRRR...The subject hasn't came up again since the day after the incident, which was like 5 days ago, so thats good cause I hate confrontation, but its still bothering me of course, wanted to get it off my chest and send an update about the situation....I guess promises aren't all they are whoooped up to be huh. -Darla Link to post Share on other sites
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