Is my boyfriend jealous?

[katykat1975]

I've been dating my b/f for 3 months now and it's been great. He's not as experienced as me in dating or sexually so it makes reading him a little harder.

We've been closer than ever up until a week ago which was the last time I saw or heard from him. An old friend (male) turned up out of the blue and stayed for a few days, I texted him to let him know out of curtesy, so he'd not be taken aback if he turbned up but nothing! I've tried calling him once and sent him 4 texts asking if all's ok but still nothing?!

 

What should I do, I let him know the guy's gone home.

 

Also the guy WAS an ex-boyfriend but he's gay now. If that makes a diffrence.

[katykat1975]

I need to know what to do for the best, maybe he wanted to end relationship but's a coward or if he's jealous what should I do for the best?

 

Thanks

katy

[amaysngrace]

Did you say you texted him to tell him your ex was staying? You never spoke to him directly?

 

It sounds like a mystery to me.

[katykat1975]

Yes, because my ex turned up out of the blue wanting to stay (he was 250 miles from home so didn't have to much choice), I texted my boyfriend to warn him. He knew he was my ex and also that he's gay but he was jealous the last time he stayed but then I explained he was gay!

Is weird and soooo frustrating not knowing!

 

Should I try phoning again tomorrow or just let him get on with it?

[katykat1975]

I don't get jealous myself so can't read the 'signs'. Is it usual for a jealous person to totally ignore you for a week?! It just doesn't make sense.

[Javelin]

This isn't what you'd call jealousy, this would be labeled as anger.

 

If I were in his shoes, I'd be pretty upset at you and your actions; upset enough to further evaluate my view on the relationship.

 

In my opinion that's a disrectful move on your part and using an excuse like, ' but, he's gay' does not justify your actions. Gay or not, he's still your ex-boyfriend and your decision to allow him to stay with you was probably the worse act you could do while in a relationship with another guy.

 

I've tried calling him once and sent him 4 texts asking if all's ok but still nothing?!

 

You should put yourself in his position.

 

What if he had an ex-girlfriend stay with him for a couple of days and all he did was send you 4 TEXT MESSAGES and 1 Phone call, honestly, that would be okay with you?

 

I mean you never even asked him if he'd be okay with this entire ordeal.

 

Yes, because my ex turned up out of the blue wanting to stay (he was 250 miles from home so didn't have to much choice),

 

You should have directed him to the closest hotel.

 

What should I do?

 

I'd suggest visit him and talk about it; best I can do.

[katykat1975]

You're right, i've been thoughtless and insensitive' because I have no feelings for the ex I didn't give it a second thought about him staying. Especially as he's been gay for 2 yrs since we split!

 

Well i've left a message (he wouldn't answer) saying I should have thought about his feelings and called him as soon as he arrived.

Will see if he calls, the ball's in his court now.

[Javelin]

I'm sorry if I came off a bit harsh, I'm just glad you can understand from another point of view. Keep in mind: People aren't perfect and with the gift of free will; we are all bound to make some type of selfish mistake!

 

Well i've left a message (he wouldn't answer) saying I should have thought about his feelings and called him as soon as he arrived.

Will see if he calls, the ball's in his court now.

 

Honestly from the type of guy you describe; I don't think he's ever going to make a move; especially if he's new to the relationship life.

 

You have to understand he's Hurt, confused, and lonely.

The hurt in him is from what you've done without applying him to the picture. He's confused because he doesn't know whether or not he'll be able to fully trust you again and the loneliness derives from being away from his girlfriend.

 

May I suggest one more thing if you really want to work through this?

 

Stop calling and leaving messages and go visit him! Why? Well, because it's harder to comfort someone you love, like, or adore over the phone, than it is when you are face to face with them. I've learned over time that being there physically has a greater advantage than holding a cordless receiver to your ear. I'm sure he'll come around if you show you truly care about him and explain to him (in detail) that nothing had happened in the time your ex-boyfriend took board at your place. Just remember to be honest, compassionate, and trustworthy.

 

Now this all becomes null & void if things did go down between you and your ex- during this time.

 

Anywho, good luck with whatever you do!

[Guest]

I've been dating my b/f for 3 months now and it's been great. He's not as experienced as me in dating or sexually so it makes reading him a little harder.

We've been closer than ever up until a week ago which was the last time I saw or heard from him. An old friend (male) turned up out of the blue and stayed for a few days, I texted him to let him know out of curtesy, so he'd not be taken aback if he turbned up but nothing! I've tried calling him once and sent him 4 texts asking if all's ok but still nothing?!

 

What should I do, I let him know the guy's gone home.

 

Also the guy WAS an ex-boyfriend but he's gay now. If that makes a diffrence.

 

Uh, so you are dating a guy that is sexually less experienced than you, (not a help for a relationship to begin with) and then you let your ex stay with you without first asking your "partner" if it's OK?

 

If I was your BF I wouldn't speak to you again. As far as he's concerened you cheated on him and no matter what you say he probably will think the worse happened. I know I wouldn't believe the "but he's gay" story. He didn't used to be gay, maybe he had a relapse.