Fiance uptight about money!

[xxbaddgurl83xx]

My fiance and I are paying for our wedding ourselves so I understand that we need to cut corners and save our money on as much as possible but he is getting a little extreme! He basically wants us to not have centerpieces on the tables, not have a cake cutting set, not have a unity candle, get his father's friend to marry us for free and sooo many other things. Its really starting to get on my nerves! The hall that we are having the reception and ceremony in was free because his father has connections and his mother told us that she is going to pay for our flowers. My mom's friend makes cakes for a living and is providing us with our wedding cake for free, but he is still complaining about getting a cake topper! Just because him and I can not afford a expensive wedding does not mean that we can't have all these things without it costing us too much. Every time I spend any money on the wedding he has a fit, yet he hasn't forked out a penny yet!!! I bought a $600 dress and I'm not complaining!!! He has to buy a $100 suit, big deal!!! He is really starting to get on my last nerve complaining about money. If he wanted to get married for nothing than we should have went to the court house! Its not like this wedding is putting us into thousands of dollars of debt and I'm sure any money we spend will be given back to us as wedding gifts. Any ideas how I can get him to lighten up over the money situation?

[adnCat]

I think most couples I know paid for entire the wedding themselves. Looks like you are getting lots of help through your mom and dad. So it really doesn't seem like you are "paying for the wedding yourselves," not completely, at least.

 

Of course you are not complaining about your $600 dress. I'm sure it is beautiful and you will love wearing it. Is he complaining about your $600 dress? I would be if I were him.

 

I do agree that you can still get the things you want, but pay less for them. Sit down with him and talk about a budget total you are both willing to spend. The event belongs to both of you. Maybe you can return your dress, get one for $100 or $200 and put the rest toward your centerpieces, or whatever dinky wedding tradition that nobody will remember, anyway.

 

If I were you, I'd compromise on all things wedding related and think about how your varying financial personalities will fare once you guys seal the deal. Your Money and Your Man is probably a good book (I haven't read it, but I love the author's column).

 

Besides, you said "if he wanted to get married for nothing, we should have went to a courthouse." Would you have agreed to that? Maybe he wanted to get married in a courthouse but you wanted a wedding? With centerpieces and a cake cutting set and a unity candle?

 

On the other side of this, I bet you could get a decent cake cutting set, centerpieces, and a unity candle for under $200 depending on how many tables you need the centerpiece for.

 

Anyway, to answer your question, how you can get him to lighten up... I think you should ask him why it is such an issue for him. Maybe he has other financial worries that you aren't aware of. Explain to him that the wedding is important to you since you only plan on doing it once. Talk about a reasonable budget you can both agree to, and take it from there.