WhiskeyGirl Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 So...it's been a year and one month now exactly since the I do's. I'm a cocktail waitress in bar. A very small family like atmosphere being a little country bar. I was sat down tonight and informed he is interested in an open marriage. And with one of my favorite female customers and friends. I'm devastated. In my life I have been with a few more people than him and he has always made me feel guilty for it. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I'm pretty much so broken hearted I'm just kind of numb. I did not marry just to act single. Nor have I even been proud of being with a few more people than him. Sex is not something I take lightly. It's something I pour lots of meaning into and so much of myself. Any thoughts for a newly wed that about six hours ago was so in love and so happy with her life and family...and now it seems to have fallen apart. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 An open marriage? What was he thinking? While they surely exist, what made him think you would be interested in that? I know these are questions you are asking yourself, they are not meant to be for you to answer. Did you respond in any kind of way? I'm not sure I could have at all. I think I would have been thinking this must be a nightmare I'm surely about to wake from with this pinch. You do not have to accept an open marriage, but if he insists I would say get out. Then to make me feel better I would take everything from him that I could in the divorce proceedings because you were misled about what marriage vows really meant. Sorry but, my first marriage ended because I wanted out and I took nothing and GAVE him everything. My second ended because he Fu*ked up royally and I KEPT everything. My fault, my loss. Your fault your loss. that's life the way I see it. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 I failed to mention how sorry I am that you are experiencing so much pain, but I truly am. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Oh hell, I just reread your post and he wants to involve your friend? Oh boy, this is bad (as if you didn't already know that.) I don't know how I missed that the first go-round. Do you think your friend/customer is interested? Is this a way for the two of them to give in to their attraction without "cheating" on the marriage and the friendship? Shyit, this is deep. And I cannot express how much it just plain sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WhiskeyGirl Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 I've basically had no response yet. I'm in my own little world. I actually haven't spoken to him for hours now. I'm trying to see if I can calm down and think first. I want to cry and scream and smack him right upside his big fat head and ask him what is wrong with him and where this came from and why haven't I seen this in his personality before. I've known him since Jan. 2003. We've been together since July 2004 and from what I was told of him by friends he's the best man alive. But in one stupid sentance he's become my worst fear. Another lieing cheater that isn't worth a penny. Before tonight he was being that amazing man that I thought was him. I guess you could say... normally.... so loving, caring, and too good to be true. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 I don't say this often.... but my advice to you would be to throw his sh*t into some Hefty bags and sling 'em out on the lawn. More often than not, by the time a spouse comes to you with the "open marriage gambit", they've already got somebody waiting in the wings. They're just tired of slinking around in secrecy. There's NO REASON why you should settle for less than what you truly need from a partner. As Gunny is wont to remind us... "What does this guy have that the other three and a half billion men on the planet doesn't? So if what you need is to feel that you are special and unique to just ONE other person on the planet... girl, don't settle for less. Link to post Share on other sites
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