In search of an explanation..

[fudge_cake_89]

I noticed a guy on holiday,

 

we glanced at each other at random opportunities during the first day,

 

the next day we shared a moment or two staring into each others eyes,

 

during these moments, everything around me disappeared, if anyone had said anything to me, i wouldnt have know about it!

 

we continued to look at each other throughout the holiday.

 

i felt at ease with him, not concious of how i looked or acted, and i thought about him every day,

 

as i was with my family for the holiday, and he was with his, and i was quite shy, we never spoke to each other.

 

the holiday came to an end after just a week, but i realised we had a connection.

 

On the day of travelling back home, after the ferry and flight back to gatwick, i realised that i wasnt going to see him again if i didnt do anything.

 

i had a note in my pocket that i had writen the night before, with my name number and email address on it, but because i was so god damn shy, its still in my draw at home.

 

the last time i saw him was when i was on a coach to the airport carpark, and he was waiting for the next coach, our eyes met again, and we shared another magical moment for the last time, when my coach pulled away.

 

i knew i was never going to see him again and it broke my heart to think that.

 

2-3 weeks after the holiday, i still thought about him non-stop, and cryed when certain songs came on that made me think of him.

 

 

 

A year and a half on, i still think about him a few times a week, and i still look for him everywhere i go.

 

I havent felt so strongly about someone before, and to be honest, i dont think i can forget about him however much i try. and i cant seem to move on.

 

i havent felt feelings that strong towards anyone since, and im worried because im stuck in a rutt, wanting to be in a relationship, but being unable to because i want to be in a relationship with him, but i cant.

 

is this happening because i regret the fact that i didnt speak to him or pluck up the courage to give him the note?

 

is this happening because that connection between us felt so strong and i want to feel it again?

 

or is this love?

[bluetuesday]

this is like fantasising about someone in a movie. you have never spoken to this guy, you know absolutely nothing about him, you don't know if he's married, with someone, gay or deaf and dumb.

 

and yet 18 months after the two of you looked at each other a few times in the sunshine, you can't get over him??? i'm sorry, this isn't reality. you sound very young. no, it's not love. nothing like it.

 

you regret not having had the courage to say hello and actually meet him, but that doesn't mean you need to find this man now. it just means you need to take more control over your life and next time an opportunity like this comes up, act on it.

 

as for there being 'a connection' between you, it's all in your head. if you were serious, you would have done more than mope about at home. you would have contacted the holiday company, the hotel, the tour guide, someone who had a record of who he was and could pass on your details to him.

 

you didn't do this because a. it'd make you a stalker and b. deep down you know the whole thing is a fantasy. you need to let it go.

 

bottom line is, he had every opportunity to approach you and he chose not to do it. if he had been available or attracted to you, that probably wouldn't have been the case. that information alone should be enough to help you move past this situation. just keep in mind that it's easy for a guy to seem perfect if you've never actually met him. just don't project qualities onto this man or fantasise a connection between you that in reality are simply not there.

[fudge_cake_89]

ok..sounds fair enough, nice to get another point of view on it.

 

1) im not sad enough to fantasise over a movie character. This is real life.

 

2) i did contact the holiday company a few days after the holiday in desperation and they said they couldnt give out any personal information about other holiday makers.

 

3) i joined various sites like WAYN as there could be a chance i would find him on there.

 

4) i agree that it does sound like a movie thing. and everytime i watch a movie like Cold Mountain, the memories come back and lets say i get rather tear-ful.

 

about a year ago, i decided to try and get over it, think of it as a positive occurence, think of it as something to learn from, and as you said, use when the next opportunity comes up. but i still think about him. i still look for him at uni open days and when im out and about. i sometimes find myself doing it without even realising im doing it.