ahsumgurl909 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Those of you who know about my situation. Last night I went there and I know I shouldnt have but when I got there nobody was there with him it was perfect. (So I thought). He began verbally abusing me when I couldnt find the buttons on the bed to move it for him. It was an older bed so I wasnt aware of where they were. Anyway he told me I was worthless and to leave I said fine and started to leave. He said a couple of more rude things and I continued to walk away. He said hey! I looked back in and he had his arms out for a hug and I walked over to him he wrapped his arms around me and we both began to weep. He said I hate you seeing me like this because you have this over exadurated perspective of me. And I feel so vulnerable right now. I said I know I know. I only want to help you that is why Im here silly. He asked me if I could rub his back and I of course did for two hours or so. The whole time he was thanking me for being there. Well about two hours into his back rub in walks a girl I have never seen before. Another EX she was cool and so was I we got along fine and I didnt feel threatened by her at all. I let them talk but he wanted me to continue to rub his back. So I did. We were all three laughing and talking and suddenly the monster was at the door. I started shaking right away I cant stand her so much. She stood in the door way with her arms crossed and looking blah. He was like Hi honey come in sit on the bed right here next to me. I started shaking violently. He then told me to sit on the bed on the other side of him and i did. He looked at me and said Lori I never learned so much from a woman as I have you. Your the smartest one I have ever been with. You are very special to me and I love you and thank you for all you have done for me. the other ex he tells her we have been great friends for many years 9 to be exact. And remain friends to this day and I thank you for always being there for me and I love you too. Then he looked at the monster and said but Im In love with you. You know that right? She said something I dont know it it was words or mumbles or what. But I jumped off the bed and said well Im out of here I grabbed his face to kiss him on the cheek and he kissed me on the lips. I said before I go where are you going when you get out of here? He said I would like to go to vegas and marry her. I almost fell to the floor but I didnt he looked at me I flipped him off and walked out and said that would be the worst mistake of your life. He called my name a couple of times and I just kept walking. I sit here crying and wishing I could do all this stuff to him and her and I wont but Im so angry Im so sick and Im so mad at myself for still having feelings for him. Why cant I hate him he has done so much damage to me How could i love him what is wrong with me. I feel like if I cant win the heart of a loser I surly wont win one of a winner. This is such a true statement and I know it I am just unloveable. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 I feel like if I cant win the heart of a loser I surly wont win one of a winner. This is such a true statement and I know it I am just unloveable. STOP! This isn't about you. He IS a selfish a@@hole and you've been letting him blame YOU for his issues. NONE OF IT is about you. HE has problems, he's messed up. Please see that. This guy has made you doubt your self worth. He's made you insecure, lose your self confidence. I hope you NEVER see/speak to him again. He's scum. worse than scum. I am sorry for your pain, but you're better off without him in your life. Hopefully soon your heart will let go and you'll see and understand what a FOOL he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Asafan Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 *slap* Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Im not even going to read the hole thing I get the drift from just a few lines. Look THIS GUYS BAD NEWS with a cappitol B. You know this hes destroyed your self esteem compleatly you know that too im sure. So how long are you going to let the dirt bag string you along like a sad pathedick puppet?? Sorry to say but it seams to me that your now feeding off the drama and attention that your getting from this situation in a way. I dunno why maybe to feed your amazingly low self esteem look I know your hurting we all do. Do your self the biggest favor you could ever do and delete him compleatly from your life. Focus on you your job or getting one I dont know your employment standing. Or go back to school take some classes in anything that intrest you. Travel do any thing that makes and keeps your mind bizzy maybe do some volenteer work anything that will keep your mind off him and going to the darn hospital. Delete his numbers from your phone if he calls dont anser and if this is all to much for you to handel. Then go seek profeshional help talk to some one who can help you see just how compleatly destructive this man has been for you but for gods sake do something to help your self....please!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
coco_milkshake Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Aaaaaaaargh!!! Why did you go to the hospital?! That is just inviting pain. You know already that he is a scum bag and that he wants the monster there. Honey I wish you wouldnt go there cos you end up hurt and humiliated every time. God he makes my blood boil. If he wants her then kick his sorry ass out of your life - he is worthless and a stupid idiot. His loss at the end of the day, you concentrate on you now. Link to post Share on other sites
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