Why does it seem I will be alone forever

[Mollyanna]

:eek::eek:

 

That shows such an appalling lack of self-esteem! Why do you want a drug addict alcoholic commitment phobe to validate you???

 

Because if someone with that many issues doesn't think I am good enough for him, doesn't want to hold onto me for dear life - how can I ever expect to find anyone better??

[Mollyanna]

I say dont lose that optimism you have, because even though your asking the question will you be alone 4ever, I think in your heart you still feel some ones out there 4 u. just the impresion I got...

 

not the way i am right now. The guys I date - they come in fast, spin me around until I am dizzy and then throw me off the ride.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

Loving someone does not mean you find them to be perfect.

 

That´s where you are confused.

 

Everything that makes him the person that he is has to be perfect for you.

 

He may not cook perfectly, or kick the ball very well, but everything that makes him who he is, you have to love dearly. And that doesn´t include finding parts of him disgusting or thinking that he is a whore.

 

Ariadne

[norajane]

Because if someone with that many issues doesn't think I am good enough for him, doesn't want to hold onto me for dear life - how can I ever expect to find anyone better??

 

OMG - he can't be with ANYONE because he's so f*cked up! Commitment phobic people don't hold on to anyone. Someone with that many issues doesn't hold on to anything but his addictions. You could be Grace Kelly or Angelina Jolie and he'd still dump you.

 

It's like, you're expecting a guy who's afraid of heights to go bungee jumping - NOT GONNA HAPPEN no matter how great you are or how cool it would be to jump off a bridge.

 

Why can't you blame him for his shortcomings? Why do you take all the blame upon yourself for HIS shortcomings?

[Green]

not the way i am right now. The guys I date - they come in fast, spin me around until I am dizzy and then throw me off the ride.

 

very poetic! but that proves it you've still got that flare, you've still got IT, what is "it" u know uve got ...it... u havent lost anything yet, your pretty cool, and this is part of your cycle so enjoy feeling down now because u'll be feeling great sooner than later just remember that, its always darkest b4 the dawn

[Teacher's Pet]

you guys are amazing.

 

Tell us something we don't know!

 

Last night I went to bed feeling like the biggest failure

 

You aint.

 

why I am even alive because I can't handle anymore pain and rejection.

 

 

what the hell is wrong with me?

 

Absofreakinlutely NOTHING.

 

I planned on plastic surgery

 

Nope. Too hot already.

 

dying my hair

 

I dare you to go red again. I'll be a drooling idiot in no time.

 

letting it grow long

 

*swoon*

 

 

getting a new career

 

You can have mine.

 

working out

 

nothing wrong with it. It's as good for the soul as it is for the body.

 

even working on the sound of my voice.

 

Hmm... I haven't talked to you on the phone in a while, but I don't remember not liking your voice..

 

become someone else.

 

No No No. My DS is perfect the way she is.

 

I'm not so bad.

 

Nah, you aint bad!

 

I still don't want to live my life alone

 

That won't happen. Girls like you don't stay single long. *sigh*

 

I am not so horrible looking

 

ATTENTION MEN: She is f'ing BEAUTIFUL in person.

 

not fun to be around.

 

The hell you aint! Even though I sing better, yer damn fun at karaoke.

 

I'm so proud of you, sweetie... it's nice to see that you finally realize what some of us already knew.

 

You ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I'd marry you in a heartbeat if I wasn't 1500 miles away and a complete mess right now!

 

Give me about 20 years, ok? lol

 

-tp

a mess at any distance

[Teacher's Pet]

Please give me those statistics. Jen and I could both use them right now!

 

Make that the 3 of us.

 

R aint gonna last much longer, sorry to say.

 

-tp

becoming picky, because I CAN.

[Teacher's Pet]

Because if someone with that many issues doesn't think I am good enough for him, doesn't want to hold onto me for dear life - how can I ever expect to find anyone better??

 

Someone with that many issues usually doesn't know how to hold on to their own well-being at times, let alone another person.

 

It's not you, TRUST me.

 

-tp

it's probably me!

[Teacher's Pet]

You could be Grace Kelly or Angelina Jolie and he'd still dump you.

 

Umm...

 

Mollyanna IS Grace Kelly and Angelina Jolie in one.

 

She got Grace's charm, and Angelina's pure sexiness.

 

I know these things to be true.

 

-tp

has John Ashcroft's charm, and Stephen Hawking's basketball skills.

[norajane]

Umm...

 

Mollyanna IS Grace Kelly and Angelina Jolie in one.

 

She got Grace's charm, and Angelina's pure sexiness.

 

I know these things to be true.

 

-tp

has John Ashcroft's charm, and Stephen Hawking's basketball skills.

 

There you go, then - totally proves my point!

[shockandawed]

Umm...

 

Mollyanna IS Grace Kelly and Angelina Jolie in one.

 

She got Grace's charm, and Angelina's pure sexiness.

 

I know these things to be true.

 

-

 

 

WOW!! No Mollyanna, you won't be spending the rest of your life alone. You know, Florida sounds real nice to someone when it is 20 degrees here in the Midwest. LOL!!!

 

Hang in there.

[Mollyanna]

He thinks almost all women are hot! Grace Kelly and Angelina Jolie? come on! Thanks for making me laugh though.

[Teacher's Pet]

He thinks almost all women are hot!

 

My mom aint hot. Not in a few years.

 

Bea Arthur aint hot.

 

Judi Dench aint hot.

 

Rosie O'Donnell aint hot.

 

But you.....

 

SsssssssssssssssssssssssssMOKIN'

 

-tp

wanna sit on my lap and make nicenice?

[CaliGuy]

Because if someone with that many issues doesn't think I am good enough for him, doesn't want to hold onto me for dear life - how can I ever expect to find anyone better??

 

 

He's much more inscure than you are. That's what commitment phobes are. Deeply inscure.

 

If a loser doesn't want you it doesn't mean you are unworthy. In fact, you should be thanking your lucky stars you dodged a bullet.

[Mollyanna]

I miss him so much. He called last night and this afternoon. Part of me wishes I could have been strong enough to just keep a casual, fun relationship with him and wouldn't have pushed him for more. Because right now I don't feel I can ever be as comfortable with anyone as I was with him. There are parts of me that even I don't understand - and he accepted it. I know with Depression, and some issues from past I struggle with getting over, I am a lot to handle sometimes and he has been the only person in my life EVER who saw me through it without ever once hating me or judging me for it.

 

How do I find someone I can be that close with again? That is what is holding me back from letting him go. Because if I let him go.... I'm alone again and don't know if I have the strength to let anyone in again to hurt me this bad.

[polywog]

I miss him so much. He called last night and this afternoon. Part of me wishes I could have been strong enough to just keep a casual, fun relationship with him and wouldn't have pushed him for more. Because right now I don't feel I can ever be as comfortable with anyone as I was with him. There are parts of me that even I don't understand - and he accepted it. I know with Depression, and some issues from past I struggle with getting over, I am a lot to handle sometimes and he has been the only person in my life EVER who saw me through it without ever once hating me or judging me for it.

 

How do I find someone I can be that close with again? That is what is holding me back from letting him go. Because if I let him go.... I'm alone again and don't know if I have the strength to let anyone in again to hurt me this bad.

 

I hear ALANON meeting fodder, Ms. AngelinsJolieGraceKelly, did ya check out the meeting?

[Mollyanna]

I didn't go to Alanon because I think if I go there and start talking about him, it just keeps him alive in my heart. When I am feeling sorry for him and trying to fix him, I am not helping myself. I am forgetting my own issues and making his issues mine. Maybe that is why I liked him, he had many ways (intentionally or not) to make me forget myself - who I am not always proud to be.

[polywog]

I understand.. it's all so raw for you right now, his just leaving & all your heartache over it. But just FYI, Alanon addresses exactly what you just said in your post, about losing yourself in the relationship with the alcoholic, & how to recognise was to detach from that cycle and become stronger, etc. Meeting with others who do/have done the same thing.

It's cool that you even looked up meeting times, says that you recognise this stuff... just not ready.

 

Anyhow, hang in there, girl cuz you Will get through it

[underpants]

ahh no....I have to call bull pooh.

 

You did not go because I would have been a proactive step, for you, maybe him, the whole situation. Knowledge is power. You don't have to say anything in those settings that you don't want to.

 

If you are not willing to help yourself how can anyone else do it? I mean at least check it out?

 

Also, how attractive can you be to anyone while you are a clinging vine. I guess even to this...loser. Confidence is sexy, probably the only thing that may make him wake up. Is what you are doing now working? Do you want to feel like this indefinately?

 

You know I would bet that if you actually left him alone, NC even if he calls you just don't respond AT ALL, for oh lets say 1 month, he would freak out wondering what happened to his little fish named Molly. Go ahead take some power back, drop out of his life for awhile. Everyone here is urging you to. Think of it as a little experiment or test of his commitment to you. He has to step up at some point, and if not you will be on your way. Make him work for you. As others have said "Be the Prize", let this be your mantra, and if he doesn't see it someone better will.

 

Tough love sister.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Intriguing story. What a journey, Mollyanna!

 

Don't be sad. Sadness hurts. Stings deep inside, and uncovers a lot of buried memories. This is not the end.

 

You have to look after yourself. I know, somewhere in that heart, it aches like crazy. For months on end, the thoughts keep playing round-a-bout like a tape recorder in your head.

 

Sometimes you ask yourself: What did he see in me that I couldn't see in myself?

 

It is that aspect of someone knowing your ins and outs without saying a word.

 

I hope you gather the courage to start moving on. It seems you have done excellent work for yourself. Don't rot.

 

He is the one choosing to dismantle his life, and future apart. You can't - you shouldn't be part of that anymore.

 

I believe you are heading in the right direction. Who knows, perhaps, this will bring forth enchanting opportunities for you.

 

At the end of the day, it trails back to you. Who you are. Mollyanna. A special woman, with great qualities, designed to someday find her special man.

 

Warm Regards,

Sand&Water

[Mollyanna]

ahh no....I have to call bull pooh.

 

You did not go because I would have been a proactive step, for you, maybe him, the whole situation. Knowledge is power. You don't have to say anything in those settings that you don't want to.

 

 

kind of a good call! I do not feel like taking proactive steps about anything right now I guess. All I want to do is hide. Need a few days to myself. Don't even want my roommate here anymore. I'm OK, enjoying the solitude, talking to a couple guys online. I have business travel for the next 3 weeks so I guess I eventually have to leave the house. but right now, I just need some lazy time.

 

I'm just wondering if I am feeling good though because he keeps calling. He has called me every single day (sometimes twice) since he left. I suppose since he and I spent a lot of good times up there together, he is missing me.

[Mollyanna]

RE:

 

Intriguing story. What a journey, Mollyanna!

 

Don't be sad. Sadness hurts. Stings deep inside, and uncovers a lot of buried memories. This is not the end.

 

You have to look after yourself. I know, somewhere in that heart, it aches like crazy. For months on end, the thoughts keep playing round-a-bout like a tape recorder in your head.

 

Sometimes you ask yourself: What did he see in me that I couldn't see in myself?

 

It is that aspect of someone knowing your ins and outs without saying a word.

 

I hope you gather the courage to start moving on. It seems you have done excellent work for yourself. Don't rot.

 

He is the one choosing to dismantle his life, and future apart. You can't - you shouldn't be part of that anymore.

 

I believe you are heading in the right direction. Who knows, perhaps, this will bring forth enchanting opportunities for you.

 

At the end of the day, it trails back to you. Who you are. Mollyanna. A special woman, with great qualities, designed to someday find her special man.

 

Warm Regards,

Sand&Water

 

Thank you. Your are beautifully poetic and really uplifted me. I really am excited now about what opportunities lay ahead of me. And when you say "exciting opportunities", I got a couple goosebumps.

[FallenTree]

Definitely, you deserve better. What is it with the bad boy syndrome?

 

Interesting thing is, both of the former main boyfriends I've had act(ed) this same way in terms of being *******s and included being moody, indifferent, uncaring...till finally with one of them, I broke it off after just cracking after all this bull****. After so long, I can't take it. I don't understand how some girls are just addicted to these types of guys that treat us like ****. I don't understand myself, apparently. I like to hang on, like to keep feeling the indifference, the unstableness of it all, the unfriendly attitude, hoping for that one spark of positive friendliness that only happens once a week or less. All for what? Does it make me feel better? no. Does it make me feel like **** & like I can never find anyone who will actually like me? Hell ****ing yeah.