shizngiglz Posted October 4, 2002 Share Posted October 4, 2002 Maybe I'm not actually asking for advice, maybe I'm just venting. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. We we together before for 2 years about 8 years ago. I know that he's not very good with money. He doesn't make much and spends alot. I have no problem helping out when I can......BUT This morning, he did the most inconsiderate thing ever.... He gets up before me for work, I knew that he was going to need some money for today.....all I had was a $20 and about 5-6 ones. It's not uncommon for him to take some of mine. He mentioned that he needed some, I told him that it was all that I had, but he could take the ones......he kind of balked and said he needed gas money (I didn't), so I said, "fine, take the $20." Well, he did........and all the ones!!!! He left me with absolutely nothing!!!! I was so freakin' pissed when I got up to get ready for work! I left him a note, telling him what I thought........So, I'm stuck at work with no lunch money, no cigarette money, no coffee money for this morning, NO MONEY WHATSOEVER!! Yeah sure, I could borrow some from someone, but I really don't like to do that.............................. AGGGGHHHH!!!! how could he be so frickin' inconsiderate!?!?!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 4, 2002 Share Posted October 4, 2002 Your future with this man is doomed to failure. One day, the love will wear thin as you learn his own selfish need for immediate personal gratification far outweights any love, respect or consideration he could have for you or anybody else. Anybody who takes up with a person who handles money as poorly as your guy is going through life with both hands tied against the back. There are many reasons why people spend money they don't have...but those shouldn't concern you. What you need to know is that staying with a person like this will assure you a life of misery and chaos. Believe it or not, marriages that last the longest are those that have a stable, sufficient and predictable income and where the parties are responsible in handling that income (among other factors, of course). I am very sorry you didn't see this much earlier. If you think you're upset today, wait some time for his antics to get worse. I hope he doesn't have access to your bank accounts. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted October 8, 2002 Share Posted October 8, 2002 OK here's my situation. The guy got paid...spent his money on clothes bc he "needed" them...in my opinion he didn't. He kept asking me for money, I kept saying no. Then, after he had left, and I was suprised he didn't ask again before he left...he TOOK 40 bucks out of my purse. I called him and told him he better pay me back. Come to find out, he had $60 bucks anyway, but he has a gambling problem, and took the money and had "every intention to pay me back without me noticing" Well, we sat down and had a LONG talk. And after that, any time I bought something for him, I MADE him pay me back, and never gave him more than $5 bucks. And if he didn't pay me that 5 bucks back, that was it...the well had run dry. Relationships are 50/50. Sit down and have a talk with him and tell him he's a lot better at taking than giving. And if he really loves you, he better start showing with his actions, bc words mean NOTHING. Let him KNOW what he did to you, how it hurt you and is keeping you from trusting him. Also, NEVER let ANYONE go through your personal things...wallet, purse ANYTHING. Make it off limits...and if you ever DO need to give him money or something like that, HAND it to him. This is a MAJOR no no! Link to post Share on other sites
Author shizngiglz Posted October 8, 2002 Author Share Posted October 8, 2002 After I fumed all day.....I got home and he had a friend over, who obviously knew that we needed to tlak, cuz he high-tailed it outta there... Money had been kind of tight the last few weeks, cuz he started a new job with the city and he only gets paid every-other week. (He has a 45 minute drive one-way and a "gas hog" for a vehicle". Our relationship is 50/50, I knew he'd need money and he didn't go through my purse (don't carry/have one), it was sitting on the dresser. (cuz I knew he'd need some and he gets up earlier) Just didn't think he'd take it all. Believe me, he knows the wallet is off-limits, he won't even touch it..... It was kind of a mis-understanding/bad communication "thing". I was half asleep and he thought I could stop at the ATM.... We talked about it and things are cool. I just REALLY needed to vent that day.... Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted October 26, 2002 Share Posted October 26, 2002 It was all just a misunderstanding? He assumed you could just stop at the ATM on the way to work? You were half asleep when the initial conversation took place? Sorry but all I hear here, is a woman being treated like crap and her making excuses for it. A real man who loves his girlfriend wouldn't take all of her money...and leave her to go all day at work, with no money for lunch/coffee, etc. A real man wouldn't ASSUME that she'd stop at the ATM on the way to work (what if you were running late and didn't have time to go to one?) A real man, actually, should be able to manage his money in such a way that he doesn't have to even BORROW money from anyone, girlfriend included. If a guy pulled this stunt with me, the relationship would be over in a heartbeat, just based on the principles of respect and consideration (or lack thereof). Sorry but he sounds like a dud and you sound like you've got major doormat-qualities. Why would you even want to be with a guy who doesn't at least have a small savings account..money sat aside for a rainy day...so that a situation like this didn't happen to begin with? Link to post Share on other sites
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