"it's not easy at the moment..."

[alasia]

Hi, not sure if this should have been posted in here, or the breaks and breaking up forum, but I really need a bit of advice...think I'm a victim of BS!

 

I'll post a link to my other thread if you want (just ask), as the back story was posted a couple of weeks ago, but basically my ex suggested meeting on Thursday (was supposed to be today; my suggestion, but his shift changed at work and he can't make it so he's going to try and get Thursday off work instead. Apparently).

I called him and we had a chat about 'us' - I said I knew he wasn't interested in me anymore and was sure we wouldn't get back together, and he said I was wrong on both counts. He said 'circumstances' meant we couldn't get back together at the moment (it's been a month since we first went on the break, and he ended it 'for good' last Thursday)

 

I texted him a little later and asked what these circumstances were, and I mentioned I thought it had a lot to do with me being pregnant, or that he just didn't want to admit he didn't want to be with me.

Again, he said I couldn't be more wrong, but still didn't admit what the mysterious circumstances were. I asked him again and his reply was "it's not easy at the moment, you know it's not. Let things die down first".

 

Now, this sounds just like bull to me. Like he's too afraid to admit he doesn't want to be with me, so he's just humouring me and hoping I'll get bored - either that, or he's lining me up for some casual sex (which he knows I don't do).

 

Am I right or am I just being paranoid?

[RocketMan2]

Well he's obviously not telling you the whole story, whether or not that means what he's said is a lie is another matter.

 

If he's too much of a heartless, spineless, coward (note the subtle undertones lol) to give you any proper reasons then what does that say about him anyway?

 

Either way, you need to stop tagging along. He's said he needs some time to "let things calm down", not sure what that means without more info but it basically sounds like hes asking for space, so give it him.

 

I'd take some time out to figure out how you feel and what you want, then tell him. Leave the ball in his court and then NC.

 

Good luck, Rocket

[alasia]

I took it as asking for space too, but then he said he was going to try and get thursday off work so he can see me.

 

What I'm trying to work out, is whether he's talking a load of bull and stringing me along (or is just too spineless to tell me the truth), or whether the fact I was so horrible to him could actually be why he's being so hesitant - he wants to see how well we get on without the pressure of a relationship, before he tells his family (because in his eyes he risks losing them; they told him that) - kind of that he wants to make sure I'm 'worth it' and that we're going to work?

 

I'm leaning more towards him being spineless though, to be honest.

 

Here are my two most recent posts explaining a bit of the background, in case anyone didn't read them.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t110300/

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t110938/