strawberry11 Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Hi everyone! I'm new to the forum and I would really appreciate some advice. Im going crazy. Please read, I know its long and annoying. So I've had this friend that I met at work about 7 months ago. At the time I was living w/ a guy I had been seeing for roughly 3 years. We had so many problems and slowly I developed a friendship with this friend (Matt). At first he thought we were really opposite. Im 23 and hes 30. Hes a musician and I come off as sort of superficial. When I first met him I got drunk one night and I told him I liked him. About a month after that, I told him I was interested in him again (sober this time He told me he thought I was beautiful and that he was attracted to me but wasnt interested. Rejection yes but I took it well. I knew it was wrong to like someone while I was living with someone else, but so many problems. No excuses though I know. Oddly, since Matt is sort of a loner I figured he'd be weirded out that I liked him and back off a bit. Actually, the opposite happened. We began hanging out all the time just as friends though of course. He began to see and often commented on the fact that I wasnt what he thought I was (there was a lot more to me). He had no idea I was a writer and liked the same bands as he did. Finally, about a month and a half ago, I broke up with my boyfriend and temporarily moved out til I could find a new permanent place. Initially, Matt called me every day. Signing his texts with "xo" and "love ya." He so not like that to. I think he thought maybe he was being too intense and then after a week backed off a bit. I just cant explain how he flirts me with all the time. For example, we went to a concert with a few other friends last weekend. It was pretty crowded and at one point he put his arm around me. I would normally not take it as anything, but theres something weird about it. Like theres tension in the air. Also, whenever theres a big group of us and he drinks, he always ends up around me and joking, touching me etc. Also, lately he continually signs his texts with xo. OH and also, I had him over for dinner a few weeks ago. We drank lots of wine but toward the end of the night he had his head on my lap and I was stroking him hair for about an hr. We always hug goodbye (sometimes kisses on the cheek). And he also, whenever we talk about my ex, he gets so angry. He always gets worked up and makes fun of him in a defensive way (calling him names -very immature stuff). ONE MORE THING as a sidenote. Theres this one friend we have thats pretty good looking and he apparently has a crush on me. The other night Matt and I were talking and he blatantly said, "My worst nightmare is you and Brian hooking up and you actually being interested him on a serious level." I dont get it. Even though hes a loner we talk everyday through text and I have to admit, I think Im in love with him. We're so much alike! I cant stop thinking about him. Even though we're best friends and he already turned me down, do you think theres hope in the future??????? Im stressssssssed. Appreciate any advice! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 It sounds like he's interested in you. Maybe he had a change of heart after getting to know you. Can you wait for him to make his move? If not, then the next time he says something like what he said about you and Brian, you should ask him what he means. Or, next time you hug, look into his eyes for a moment and give him a real kiss instead of one on the cheek. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strawberry11 Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 It sounds like he's interested in you. Maybe he had a change of heart after getting to know you. Can you wait for him to make his move? If not, then the next time he says something like what he said about you and Brian, you should ask him what he means. Or, next time you hug, look into his eyes for a moment and give him a real kiss instead of one on the cheek. Thanks for the reply. I would totally make a move but I dont want to seem psycho since I already told him I was interested and he turned me down. Best to wait? Link to post Share on other sites
JCD Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 He turned you down before he got to know you more and now he's in love with you, imo. He would not be saying those things if he wasn't. He probably thinks that you don't like him that way so you have to initiate something with him so he knows how you feel about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strawberry11 Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 i would love to think that. whats bizzare is the other night i mentioned i wanted to get him a valentines day card and he was shocked. His response was , "what? Why?" which made me think he doesnt like me so i played if off. then last night he kept hugging me at the bar. At one point when my head was on his shoulder i leaned in and gave him a kiss on the neck (nothing fancy obv.) he just smiled and was veryy flirty as usual. im going there tomorrow night so I dont know! ahhhhh Link to post Share on other sites
Author strawberry11 Posted February 11, 2007 Author Share Posted February 11, 2007 UPDATE OK, so as you know Im still pretty sensitive cause I just got out of a serious relationship. So yesterday I went with matt to my dads in wisconsin. On the way, he mentioned that the next guy I date he has to approve, like a "little brother" it pissed me off and made me think he doesnt like me. THEN on the way home, i was saying how I thought ryan adams was really hot (the musician) and he got pissed and was like, "stop saying that!." I asked why and he said, I dont know, it just bothers me." AND he gave me like 2 kisses on the cheek on the way home... so weird, what is goin on??? major mixed signals. should i try and talk to him or wait? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Guys will say things like that when they are testing the water....in truth this dude is probably thinking that its gone too far into the "friendzone" for him to ask you to be with him without ruining everything. Thing is one of you has to do it and save yourselves the pain of going years as best mates only to never find what you really wanted. Just take the leap of faith and be honest enough to say you don't need another friendship that you want to be with him or nothing (save yourself that painful painful friendship i done too many times) and never regret not bringing it up. Trust me its better to either be together or slowly lose touch than constantly think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts