Depression :The ten golden rules for yourself!

[drama_queen]

1. You should give yourself the same care and attention you give others.

 

2. You are not an "endless resource" for others. You must stock up on reserves and not get too drained.

 

3. You have needs too, which may be different from your family, friends and colleagues.

 

4. You dont have to say "yes" to all requests or feel guilty when saying no.

 

5. The perfect person doesn't exist. The good-enough one does.

 

6. You have the right to be treated with respect as a worthwile, intelligent and competent person.

 

7. You dont have to have everyone's approval all the time to know you are trying your hardest.

 

8. Time for unwinding is time very well spent.

 

9. Making mistakes is not a disaster. You can learn from these and it allows others to as well.

 

10. You must be fair to yourself and remember at all time, especially in the face of criticism, anxiety and difficulties. YOU ARE DOING THE BEST THAT YOU CAN.

 

 

[PuppyDogEyes]

Thank you for this post. I'm having a particularly rough night right now, and just reading this has made me feel so much better.

 

- pde.

[drama_queen]

glad i could help

[Motor35]

Thanks Drama Queen! That is a great post. Thanks for sharing.

[luvtoto]

4. You dont have to say "yes" to all requests or feel guilty when saying no.

A year ago, I learned to say 'no'. My self-esteem has improved greatly.

 

Also, if I am wronged by someone, I will take it up with them *calmly & assertively* immediately. Won't worry constantly about things anymore.

 

I implemented this at work. Now, I have my co-worker's respect. They know that I won't let things slide anymore. Meaning...no internalizing for me, which used to set off depression for me in the past.

 

Assertiveness is very liberating.

[lonelybird]

You are not an "endless resource" for others

so true. good thing is we can get endless source and energy from God:)

 

 

 

 

___________________

Jesus love you. Everyone is precious in his eyes. Everyone has talent that nobody in the world can match.

www.tbn.org

[tragicglands]

4. You dont have to say "yes" to all requests or feel guilty when saying no.

Yes, that's so true. And no, I don't say yes all of the time. Sometimes I say no, when I'm not saying yes, or maybe. Yes, I feel guilty when I say maybe, because I should really be saying yes or no, but I can't decide which. And I also feel guilty saying no - especially after saying maybe, because I got their hopes up. Well, maybe. Yes and no, if you know what I mean.

 

Sigh.

[JamesM]

And now I will add a couple of my own thoughts gained from experience....

 

First, remember that many times depression is anger turned inward. That is why we feel so frustrated and like we have no control over our lives. It seems that everyone else thinks they know what is best for us, and they seem to be able to control what we do. It is when we take control that we can regain our self-confidence.

 

Dwell not too much on how you feel, but think instead of how you can make others feel. Personally, when I begin thinking of how I feel down and how I feel worthless, it helps me to begin thinking of others and what they don't have. Then I begin to think of how I can help that person. This becomes a rewarding experience that rebuilds my self confidence...and I realize that I am not worthless.

 

Focus your energies away from making yourself feel better. This is sightly different than above. To me this means that when I am down I begin to focus on things that lift me up. When I am down, I do what I can to forget I am down.

 

And as silly as this sounds, find ways to laugh and have fun. Force yourself to watch funny movies, go out with friends, etc. However, this one can be very tough to want to do, so usually, it is the hardest to really do.

 

And then, when I am not feeling depressed, THEN, I begin analyzing why I was depressed, and what can I do to prevent this depression from coming again? And how will I handle depression when it does strike...which it inevitably will.

 

For about five to ten years, in the 80s and 90s, I dealt with alot of depression and anxiety. I went to counseling which helped alot, but it wasn't until I began focusing off my problems that I regained my confidence. No, Life is not always perfect, but so far for the past ten to twelve years, I have not had to deal with such bouts of depression. I have had some minor anxiety attacks, but I was told to analyze why and when these attacks occurred. This was very helpful because it taught me ways to handle anxiety. So, happily, I have been fairly "happy" for a few years now.

 

Different "rules" help some people, while other "rules" help others. It is important to simply try to regain hope and self-confidence when all seems hopeless. Although it is so simple to do, for someone in a depression, it is incrediby difficult to rise above the internal feelings of defeat and sadness.

[luvtoto]

A year ago, I learned to say 'no'. My self-esteem has improved greatly.

 

Also, if I am wronged by someone, I will take it up with them *calmly & assertively* immediately. Won't worry constantly about things anymore.

 

I implemented this at work...

..and at home.

 

It was liberating placing my neighbor's misplaced trash (two mattresses) directly onto their front yard!!