Is there any hope for me?

[Mr.Mr]

Hello, first post here and everything so I'll just get right to it.

 

For the longest time I've wanted a girlfriend, a female companion that I could love and spend the rest of my life with, but for the longest time it hasn't happened. I'm 20 years old and have never been on a date or even kissed a girl. I still long for the day when I finally find a girl I like who likes me back. Let me give you a recount of my life story so you can understand where I'm comming from.

 

When I first started school I was a social person, I spoke to people, I had quite a few friends, and a possible romantic interest as well (according to my mom anyway, I don't remember it but she said that this girl used to play with me alot so she liked me). But in the middle of third grade my mom took me away from that school and all the friends I had, she said it was something about the school being racist but I think in the long run it did more harm than good. I wasn't aware of it at the time and I still don't know why it happened but ever since then I just closed myself off to anyone in public.

 

Basically from third grade until my senior year of high school I wouldn't speak to anyone in my schools (the next school I went to my mom also took me away from because she said it was racist) unless they spoke to me first, I also wouldn't participate in class discussions unless I was called on by the teacher. And for the longest time I didn't have any friends. I more or less didn't speak to or hang out with anyone outside of school (most of the time I'd just come straight home after school) and I did see someone I knew from school at Target or something I'd usually go out of my way to make sure they didn't see me.

 

Interestingly, none of this ever bothered me (though ever since middle school I had wanted a girlfriend) until my mom pointed out that I didn't have any friends, ever since then it was a kind of nagging thought in the back of my head that would arise from time to time.

 

But thank God I went to New Orleans for a band trip. Out there I was able to open up and be myself around my peers for the first time and when I got back I would be more talkative in my band class and actually became pretty popular with the band. Something inside me had been permenantly changed by that trip and while I was still shy to an extent I believe that I had taken my first steps to becoming a more social person.

 

Fast foward to today, I'm in my third year of college. The first year and a half was about the same as it always had been but I actually participated in class discussions now. In the middle of my second year I managed to meet who would become the first real friend I had in a long time. He introduced me to the campus games club and now I go there every week and have a great time. I am now familiar with quite a few of the people there and they're familiar with me as well. I've once again found an avenue where I could be myself around my peers.

 

So what do you think? Is there any hope for me to achieve what I desire? I still feel like I'm far from it.

[norajane]

Of course there's hope. It seems that when you open up, you are easily able to make friends. Find more interests to get involved with, and you'll meet more people and make more friends.

 

Try something different, like a dance class. Lots of ladies there.

[PYT]

It sounds like you have already begun to take some steps that will help you achiev e your goals. Remember even baby steps will get you there if you just keep moving forward. Take more participatory classes like dance etc that was just suggested and you will keep making progress. Sure there will be a few bumps in the road but you'll get past them and get what you want if you keep at it.