Lack of respect from other women

[stace79]

Just curious how you all feel about this...I have a really hard time tolerating women who will pursue men who are taken. I feel not only is it pathetic and desperate, but it's also so unbelievably disrespectful to other women.

 

If I liked a guy who had a girlfriend or was married, I would NEVER make my feelings public. It's just not right. Further, if an ex of mine was involved with someone else, I would never attempt to "win" him back or cause problems in his new relationship if he was happy.

 

If I couldn't submerge my romantic feelings enough to be his friend and be happy for his new-found love, I would disappear for awhile until I could. If he ever broke up with that person, I would see him as fair game again, but not until they were completely and totally broken up (not "on a break," or just having trouble, or if he said he was going to leave her, blah blah).

 

I understand that men must also take responsibility for allowing women to act a certain way. But ladies, have some respect. We all know (either directly or indirectly through friends/family) how it feels to be cheated on or betrayed, so why would you knowingly subject another woman to that pain and agony? It's simply not right, and there is no justification for it.

[ash519]

I completely agree and I think a lot of women would. But then there are those girls who dont, who for some reason think they have the right to be betrayed and cheated like that.

 

I look at those girls and think " I just hope it happens to you one day". There are a lot of girls out there who are canniving b's and dont care about anybody but themselves and think since they dont know you your relationship means nothing to them. (Try dating a guy in a band!!! Dumb groupies!)

 

Girls like that are crap to me. I am lucky to have great friends who have know grown up and wouldnt do that to people.

 

Most of us (especially in this forum) have been burned and it is so hard to bounce back and I think it takes getting burned to recover and realize how to respect others relationships.

 

Ok, that is my rant!

[Mythical]

I agree with you 100%.

THis actually makes me extremely pissed off. I have to deal with other woman wanting my boy all the time...even if this so called woman know hes with me they will try so damn hard. Some of them even have g/fs...pretty fing immature

[riobikini]

re:

 

Stace79: " Just curious how you all feel about this...I have a really hard time tolerating women who will pursue men who are taken. "

 

Unfortunately, not *all* women are as disciplined, or gracious, or reasonable as you.

 

Dealing with *those* types of women is a task -you almost want to blurt out to them what an embarrassment they are to womankind, in general.

 

While some of them truly believe it's the empowerment of their level of confidence that gives them the right to overstep bounderies, others just blindly react to men in situations that are similar to female canines during their time in heat.

 

The latter have to be dealt with boldly -and persistently.

 

While they may encroach the "territory" of another female who is perfectly confident and has no issue with her partner that would leave open the door for a trespass, it's always a good idea to size up who you're dealing with, evaluate just how far she'll go with her pursuit -and re-enforce your boundaries.

 

Some say that keeping your enemy close is a good idea -but with this type of woman, you do exactly the opposite.

 

Give her an inch -she'll take a mile.

 

And leave you in the dust.

 

Always remember that your partner is really only a pawn in this match -food, no less, for her ego.

 

It's all about the number of notches on the bedpost for her.

 

She won't feel a single twinge of remorse for tearing your life apart to meet her goal.

 

Stace, I admire the things you've said -but the actual protocol for dealing with panting, eye-batting, ego-driven, affair-Goddeses *requires* much more knowledge in preventing the destruction that can be initiated by their game-playing behavior.

 

Keep your lipstick handy -and use it!

 

(Smile)

 

-Rio

[IfWishesWereHorses]

LOL, Rio, that reminds me of my mother! "Honey, where ARE your lips!" She's passed away 7 years ago but I never look in the mirror without hearing those words!

[emmaUK]

i agree 2.

 

the thought of persuing a man who is attatched does not interest me in the slightest and as soon as i found out for deffinite that he was attatched then he wudnt c me for dust no matter how lovely he may be

 

and yes.. us girls are supposed to stick together..

shame theres a few out there who spoil it

[stace79]

I'm just so glad there are other women who agree with me. Literally a girl told a guy I know that she would do anything to change his mind about dating another woman, even when SHE broke up with him several years ago. I could understand if the guy lies and the woman doesn't know he is in a relationship, but to knowingly want to break two people up for your own pleasure is just mean and says to me you are a bad person at heart. Everyone can make a mistake, but that is just proving your true self is evil, selfish and mean.

 

Thanks to those of you inputting...it makes me feel better, that all girls aren't scandelous!! =)

[IaminLove]

I agree 100%. I can't stand when women hit on men who are taken and also men who hit on taken women... there is a huge difference between a little harmless flirting between friends and the women who are trying to steal someone away from another woman. Everything you said was well put.

[riobikini]

 

Big girls know you keep the "scandoulous" things between the sheets.

 

(Smile)

 

For these other gals the parking lot will do.

 

-Rio

[sb129]

I agree with you stace, but as an ex OW, I can't let this go by without dropping in my 2 cents worth.

 

In my case I was fed line after line by my ex MM that the relationship was "over", "dead" etc etc.

HE pursued ME. When I found out he was married, that was it for me.

But unfortunately I was in a much more vulnerable emotional state than I am now, and my self esteem was very low, and his persistence paid off (for him).

He did leave his W for me, but eventually the R died, I couldn't trust him and I decided I was worth more than the crap he put me thru.

 

I am not making excuses, just trying to let you know how it can happen, even to nice girls who swore they would never go there.

AND if girls are successful at getting it on with another womans BF, that some of the fault has to go to the guy too.

 

But if one good thing has come out of my experience, I will say hand on heart that I will NEVER look at an attached man again, and will remain faithful to my man for as long as we are together.

I have had enough heartache and pain, and I wouldn't invite it back into my life.

 

Please don't flame me....

[stace79]

No I totally see a difference in your situation and what I am talking about. If the guy is pursuing another woman outside his relationship that falls on him, too.

 

I'm mostly referring to the exes who, once they find out their old bf is happily moving on with someone new, come back and try to "remind" the guy how wonderful their R was. I'm sure you know what I'm referring to....but I definitely understand your point of view too.

 

I agree with you stace, but as an ex OW, I can't let this go by without dropping in my 2 cents worth.

 

In my case I was fed line after line by my ex MM that the relationship was "over", "dead" etc etc.

HE pursued ME. When I found out he was married, that was it for me.

But unfortunately I was in a much more vulnerable emotional state than I am now, and my self esteem was very low, and his persistence paid off (for him).

He did leave his W for me, but eventually the R died, I couldn't trust him and I decided I was worth more than the crap he put me thru.

 

I am not making excuses, just trying to let you know how it can happen, even to nice girls who swore they would never go there.

AND if girls are successful at getting it on with another womans BF, that some of the fault has to go to the guy too.

 

But if one good thing has come out of my experience, I will say hand on heart that I will NEVER look at an attached man again, and will remain faithful to my man for as long as we are together.

I have had enough heartache and pain, and I wouldn't invite it back into my life.

 

Please don't flame me....

[polywog]

I agree with you stace, but as an ex OW, I can't let this go by without dropping in my 2 cents worth.

 

In my case I was fed line after line by my ex MM that the relationship was "over", "dead" etc etc.

HE pursued ME. When I found out he was married, that was it for me.

But unfortunately I was in a much more vulnerable emotional state than I am now, and my self esteem was very low, and his persistence paid off (for him).

He did leave his W for me, but eventually the R died, I couldn't trust him and I decided I was worth more than the crap he put me thru.

 

I am not making excuses, just trying to let you know how it can happen, even to nice girls who swore they would never go there.

AND if girls are successful at getting it on with another womans BF, that some of the fault has to go to the guy too.

 

But if one good thing has come out of my experience, I will say hand on heart that I will NEVER look at an attached man again, and will remain faithful to my man for as long as we are together.

I have had enough heartache and pain, and I wouldn't invite it back into my life.

 

Please don't flame me....

 

I agree with everything that everyone else has posted here, and I have to agree with the above post... I have never been an OW, but I found out my exH was telling women his sob story of how awful our relationship was, and got a little following of women who felt sorry for him, thought that they could be The One, etc... I know this because two of them have become close friends over the years! He was not just venting about our marriage, he was using it as a come-on! A**Hole! Every woman I know that has been an OW tells me this same story. So I don't think You, Sb129, qualify as one of those creepy women who tries to "steal" someone's guy in the way stace was describing.

 

That being said, I too Hate those disrespectful b*****s who come on to attached men, I have never done that, and I hope that it all happens to them someday (NOT YOU, sb129... anyone with slugs in their avatar has my affection and respect, or are they not slugs?)

[stace79]

It just really hurts, is all. I would never wish on anyone else the types of feelings one can get knowing that some woman is trying to lure away your boyfriend/husband/date. Again, I know guys have to take some responsibility, too, but as a woman we should understand how that feels and not intentionally cause other women to feel this way.

 

It comes down to what I like to live by...the "Platinum Rule"...I don't treat people how I'd want to be treated, I treat them how they want to be treated. Which means I would never intentionally come between two people. And it is painful to try to understand how some women could behave this way.

 

I dunno...maybe that's my problem. Maybe I need to be more cutthroat? lol (only kidding, I think).

[a4a]

No I totally see a difference in your situation and what I am talking about. If the guy is pursuing another woman outside his relationship that falls on him, too.

 

I'm mostly referring to the exes who, once they find out their old bf is happily moving on with someone new, come back and try to "remind" the guy how wonderful their R was. I'm sure you know what I'm referring to....but I definitely understand your point of view too.

 

 

:lmao: Been there. But the H sent her a nuclear email that asked her to basically "go away and never rear her ugly head". Of course she felt the need to reply to his message. Why? Because he made her feel like a complete ass, and it was by far one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed. (shame on me for getting a kick out of seeing her get hurt, but dag she even pulled the wedding contact crap)

 

As a friend of mine says "she got her come uppin's" That is the only way to cure the stalker/iwanthim/remember me women. The man needs to shoot them down in a flaming heap of wreckage, or they don't get the message to go away.

[SueBee3490]

I'm with all the posters here and never could understand women who take "taken" men. Even before my H cheated on me, I couldn't imagine myself going with a man who was either with a gf or married. In fact, it used to turn me off of the "taken" men who would ask me out or whatever because I knew all he wanted was a lay and nothing more (my God he was taken!) so what more could he offer me? That told me exactly what he thought of me. But more importantly I used to think "that poor woman you're with doesn't know the type of guy you really are" and it would p*ss me off.

 

Also Stace here's another example of how "great" one of the woman was that my H was chatting/seeing while dating/engaged to me. When I found out that he'd been chatting with her, telling her all about me (probably lies) and our whole lives together and how she tried to tell him to break up with me and that he'd NEVER be happy with me, I blew up. Now I got 2 different stories from my H and her as to what they actually did together. She says they'd had sex, he said they didn't. But it really didn't matter because they are both scum in my book and both liars & cheaters. Anyway, when I found out and contacted her and basically told her what I thought of her doing all this behind my back with him, she turned around and had one of her friends act as though she had went with/had sex with my husband too. To make a long story short, she had to have known the pain she and he caused me by all this betrayal and deception and she didn't care - in fact she tried to cause me more pain by having a friend say she went with him too. How low is that? Can we say b**ch with a capital B! I sometimes think these type of women are all alike - they have no conscious or heart.

[a4a]

Maybe they are desparate for attention of any sort?

[alphamale]

Just curious how you all feel about this...I have a really hard time tolerating women who will pursue men who are taken. I feel not only is it pathetic and desperate, but it's also so unbelievably disrespectful to other women.

because of women's decisions being based more upon emotions and feelings they will always be their own worst enemies.

[stace79]

because of women's decisions being based more upon emotions and feelings they will always be their own worst enemies.

 

Agreed women tend to think more emotionally, however I was at one time practically in love with my "best guy friend" and he dated other girls b/c he just didn't have those types of feelings for me. However, I never intentionally tried to sway him from these other girls...it would have been easy to talk bad about them, try to get him to break up with them, whatever, but that is just mean. Even with your explanation, I guess I am just more concerned about being a good person and not causing others pain if I can help it.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

My best male friend says that women have no code! Men will stick up for their friends and for the most part don't pull stuff behind each other's back. A funny joke I remember says this guy sent me said that a woman stayed out all night and told her husband that she had spent the night at a friends. He called her 10 best friends and none had seen nor heard from her. A man stays out all night with the same excuse, his wife calls his 10 best friends, 8 of which swear he spent the night last night and the other 2 claim that he is still there. Gotta Love It! Yep, women have no code when it comes to men.

 

I completely agree with the poster who says that it is a complete turn off when a taken man hits on her but unfortunately some women find flattery in that! Go figure?

[stace79]

Ya know, I'll give it to you that I put up with some real bullsh*t when it comes to guys. I take treatment that is substandard, sometimes I settle for it because I have seen the real garbage out there. But there is a huge difference between making choices that might cause me pain in the future (or elongate the pain), and making choices that cause pain for other people.

 

I would like to say I don't bear ill will toward women like the one I'm referring to, but women who try to convince exes to break up a happy, positive current relationship to go back to them are just heartless, cold, slimy b*tches. Yes, bitter, party of one. Sorry guys.

 

The sad thing is that they are more scared of losing or coming in second best and not having control over this guy any more than they are scared of losing a real love. Shameless....yes, I'm experiencing this right now lol.

 

My best male friend says that women have no code! Men will stick up for their friends and for the most part don't pull stuff behind each other's back. A funny joke I remember says this guy sent me said that a woman stayed out all night and told her husband that she had spent the night at a friends. He called her 10 best friends and none had seen nor heard from her. A man stays out all night with the same excuse, his wife calls his 10 best friends, 8 of which swear he spent the night last night and the other 2 claim that he is still there. Gotta Love It! Yep, women have no code when it comes to men.

 

I completely agree with the poster who says that it is a complete turn off when a taken man hits on her but unfortunately some women find flattery in that! Go figure?

[stillafool]

Yes I think women who go after a man who is taken is dispicable. These women are jealous and want what you have instead of building their own relationships. Women are also so competitive when it comes to men. If they see you have a good man who treats you good and gives you a lot of attention they want to see if they can turn his head. I don't understand it for the life of me. If women would stick by a code of respect for each other men would start treating us with more respect.

 

It's one thing if you didn't know he was involved with someone, but if you do and you try to break them up, you're full of the devil.

[Rooster_DAR]

Just curious how you all feel about this...I have a really hard time tolerating women who will pursue men who are taken. I feel not only is it pathetic and desperate, but it's also so unbelievably disrespectful to other women.

 

If I liked a guy who had a girlfriend or was married, I would NEVER make my feelings public. It's just not right. Further, if an ex of mine was involved with someone else, I would never attempt to "win" him back or cause problems in his new relationship if he was happy.

 

If I couldn't submerge my romantic feelings enough to be his friend and be happy for his new-found love, I would disappear for awhile until I could. If he ever broke up with that person, I would see him as fair game again, but not until they were completely and totally broken up (not "on a break," or just having trouble, or if he said he was going to leave her, blah blah).

 

I understand that men must also take responsibility for allowing women to act a certain way. But ladies, have some respect. We all know (either directly or indirectly through friends/family) how it feels to be cheated on or betrayed, so why would you knowingly subject another woman to that pain and agony? It's simply not right, and there is no justification for it.

 

Amen sista! I feel the same way about both genders.

 

Cheers!

[Rooster_DAR]

because of women's decisions being based more upon emotions and feelings they will always be their own worst enemies.

 

I think they simply need to stop reading Cosmo and turn on the Discovery Science Channel.

 

Nothing like an intelligent female!

[stace79]

I definitely think intelligence and the way you were raised has something to do with it. At the risk of offending anyone, I most commonly see the "trailer trash" attempting to break up a relationship....you know, the type of slutty girls who would go on Jerry Springer. Smart women are (imagine!) smart enough to realize that if it didn't work the first time, there's a reason...and they are KIND enough to be happy for their ex if he has moved on and is happy.

[Pyro]

Just curious how you all feel about this...I have a really hard time tolerating women who will pursue men who are taken. I feel not only is it pathetic and desperate, but it's also so unbelievably disrespectful to other women.

 

If I liked a guy who had a girlfriend or was married, I would NEVER make my feelings public. It's just not right. Further, if an ex of mine was involved with someone else, I would never attempt to "win" him back or cause problems in his new relationship if he was happy.

 

If I couldn't submerge my romantic feelings enough to be his friend and be happy for his new-found love, I would disappear for awhile until I could. If he ever broke up with that person, I would see him as fair game again, but not until they were completely and totally broken up (not "on a break," or just having trouble, or if he said he was going to leave her, blah blah).

 

I understand that men must also take responsibility for allowing women to act a certain way. But ladies, have some respect. We all know (either directly or indirectly through friends/family) how it feels to be cheated on or betrayed, so why would you knowingly subject another woman to that pain and agony? It's simply not right, and there is no justification for it.

 

Unfortunately, there are alot of women like that in this world. It is rude and disrespectful. I bet that they wouldn't appreciate it if a friend did that to them. I have lost some friends in the past because of this.

 

I'm not exactly sure what drives them to do this. Maybe they have such a big ego and think that they can have any guy that they want, so they put it to the test. I have never done this and I am not a woman, so I am not sure.

 

If you have a good guy, he will not let anything come about from her attempted seducing, except to send her home disappointed.