Lack of respect from other women

[stace79]

What is that pearl jam song? Can't find a better man? haha

 

Not to joke, but guess I better look for a better man...seen any??? =)

 

Unfortunately, there are alot of women like that in this world. It is rude and disrespectful. I bet that they wouldn't appreciate it if a friend did that to them. I have lost some friends in the past because of this.

 

I'm not exactly sure what drives them to do this. Maybe they have such a big ego and think that they can have any guy that they want, so they put it to the test. I have never done this and I am not a woman, so I am not sure.

 

If you have a good guy, he will not let anything come about from her attempted seducing, except to send her home disappointed.

[Pyro]

What is that pearl jam song? Can't find a better man? haha

 

Not to joke, but guess I better look for a better man...seen any??? =)

 

A great song. Or what about "Only Women Bleed" from Alice Cooper? Pretty much the same thing.

 

Better men are all around, so don't lose hope.

[VinaAmez]

I understand that men must also take responsibility for allowing women to act a certain way. But ladies, have some respect. We all know (either directly or indirectly through friends/family) how it feels to be cheated on or betrayed, so why would you knowingly subject another woman to that pain and agony? It's simply not right, and there is no justification for it.

 

I agree with you.

 

Actually I was thinking about this while picking up some groceries this evening.

 

There was this couple that was by me and I noticed that he was good looking. I couldn't help but wonder why I would be attracted to someone who was married.

 

The more I thought about it and put myself in the position, I felt that it would be thrilling. Kind of like two people doing something they shouldn't but yet loved each other. Two people being together regardless of the consequences. That's the best example I can give.

 

I don't mean to offend anyone who has been cheated. Just thinking about why people do it. Or better yet, why I would do it.

[EnigmaXOXO]

I'm mostly referring to the exes who, once they find out their old bf is happily moving on with someone new, come back and try to "remind" the guy how wonderful their R was.

 

Yeah, it happens. And not just among females. But rather than getting angry because someone envies what you have enough to want it for themselves … you can turn it around and regard it as a compliment. Besides, people like this provide a darn good litmus test to help you weed out the other users in your life. If your partner is equally as opportunistic, and takes the bait, then count your blessings to be rid of them both. They may very well deserve each other (and all the problems that goes with) while you deserve the opportunity to move on and find better. Never fear when your partner's loyalties are tested … instead, welcome it! How they handle it will tell you (without words) a lot about the kind of person they are.

 

In regards to "respect" … I think it's just hard for people who do not respect themselves first to extend that respect towards others. For instance, if you have no boundaries regarding the kind of treatment you are willing to tolerate for yourself when it comes to relationships, you're certainly not going to have any boundaries regarding how you act towards other people's relationships.

 

When you really think about it, more often than not, the two always seem to go hand in hand.

[Lostgurl]

Just curious how you all feel about this...I have a really hard time tolerating women who will pursue men who are taken. I feel not only is it pathetic and desperate, but it's also so unbelievably disrespectful to other women.

 

 

This just brought back horrible memories from my teenage years. My Ex-bestfriend sucessfully attempted to steal 3 of my ex boyfriends.

 

The worst time was when we were out at a cabin, there were 5 of us couples, and herself. We all drank too much and went to bed. She was left without a place to sleep. The only place left was the floor. I felt sorry for her and told her to come and sleep with me and my boyfriend. Fully trusting both of them, i felt better knowing that she wasn't sleeping on the cold floor. So i fell alseep inbetween my bf and my bestfriend. I woke up in the middle of the night on the edge of the bed and she was now in the middle and i could hear them kissing! Stupid B*tch.

 

We were like sisters, could read eachother's minds we knew eachother so well. We were inseparable. She choose MY men over our friendship, i guess because she couldn't keep her nasty legs closed. I still talk about it with my bf sometimes, because it still really hurts. He knows her and thinks that it's because she is jealous of me.

 

Ugh i've never been able to let another female get that close again, and when i start getting close, i end up pushing them away to a degree. She destroyed apart of me over and over. I was stupid enough to forgive her twice. Before the 3rd time... When i nearly knocked her out and sent her packing.

 

I still don't know to this day, why friends would do something like this to eachother. Or women going after taken men in general. It really is a sore point for me. It angers me a great deal to say the least.

[stace79]

You make such an excellent point. It makes me sad, but you are right. If the guy I am with is really worth being with, the attempts by the ex to change his mind or lure him back wouldn't work.

 

If he really was loyal to me, he would tell her to forget it in very clear terms and then refuse any contact with her at all.

 

I guess that is my biggest problem...not wanting to lay blame where it should be. =o(

 

Yeah, it happens. And not just among females. But rather than getting angry because someone envies what you have enough to want it for themselves … you can turn it around and regard it as a compliment. Besides, people like this provide a darn good litmus test to help you weed out the other users in your life. If your partner is equally as opportunistic, and takes the bait, then count your blessings to be rid of them both. They may very well deserve each other (and all the problems that goes with) while you deserve the opportunity to move on and find better. Never fear when your partner's loyalties are tested … instead, welcome it! How they handle it will tell you (without words) a lot about the kind of person they are.

 

In regards to "respect" … I think it's just hard for people who do not respect themselves first to extend that respect towards others. For instance, if you have no boundaries regarding the kind of treatment you are willing to tolerate for yourself when it comes to relationships, you're certainly not going to have any boundaries regarding how you act towards other people's relationships.

 

When you really think about it, more often than not, the two always seem to go hand in hand.

[EnigmaXOXO]

If the guy I am with is really worth being with, the attempts by the ex to change his mind or lure him back wouldn't work.

 

Absolutely.

 

He isn't worth any future effort you're willing to invest in him if he responds any differently. And the same goes for any gal pals you might befriend in your lifetime who attempt to take advantage of your trust or vulnerability. You have to look at life's Oh-Hell-No moments as a darn good way to separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to the quality of people you form relationships with. And if someone can't be a "friend" to you while your back is turned, than they certainly aren't worth any more effort than your deliberate absence and indifference.

 

No need to get mad at what some folks do. Just make sure you've gained plenty of distance from them when that karma boomerang comes back around.

[sb129]

I'm mostly referring to the exes who, once they find out their old bf is happily moving on with someone new, come back and try to "remind" the guy how wonderful their R was. I'm sure you know what I'm referring to....but I definitely understand your point of view too.

Oops. I now know what you mean. Yes I agree with you about those kind of ladies. Why would they do that? Surely you break up with someone for a reason right?

 

(NOT YOU, sb129... anyone with slugs in their avatar has my affection and respect, or are they not slugs?)

Thanks polywog. They are monsters! They are like a cartoon monster on TV here. But I am OK with slugs as long as they aren't eating my tomato plants.

 

because of women's decisions being based more upon emotions and feelings they will always be their own worst enemies.

yes, yes so true. It does get easier to separate logic and emotion as you get older and have been burnt more tho

 

If the guy I am with is really worth being with, the attempts by the ex to change his mind or lure him back wouldn't work.

 

If he really was loyal to me, he would tell her to forget it in very clear terms and then refuse any contact with her at all.

(

 

Totally! I have a sneaky feeling that my BFs ex may come sniffing around soon now she knows he has me... but I am not worried. I know he will tell her to get lost. And she means nothing to me- my life will go on without her in it.

 

Absolutely.

 

He isn't worth any future effort you're willing to invest in him if he responds any differently. And the same goes for any gal pals you might befriend in your lifetime who attempt to take advantage of your trust or vulnerability. You have to look at life's Oh-Hell-No moments as a darn good way to separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to the quality of people you form relationships with. And if someone can't be a "friend" to you while your back is turned, than they certainly aren't worth any more effort than your deliberate absence and indifference.

 

No need to get mad at what some folks do. Just make sure you've gained plenty of distance from them when that karma boomerang comes back around.

 

Agree 100% Enigma.

Just be rest assured that you can sleep at night Stace79.... and the ladies in question might be able to now but...

[stillafool]

Just curious how you all feel about this...I have a really hard time tolerating women who will pursue men who are taken. I feel not only is it pathetic and desperate, but it's also so unbelievably disrespectful to other women.

 

If I liked a guy who had a girlfriend or was married, I would NEVER make my feelings public. It's just not right. Further, if an ex of mine was involved with someone else, I would never attempt to "win" him back or cause problems in his new relationship if he was happy.

 

If I couldn't submerge my romantic feelings enough to be his friend and be happy for his new-found love, I would disappear for awhile until I could. If he ever broke up with that person, I would see him as fair game again, but not until they were completely and totally broken up (not "on a break," or just having trouble, or if he said he was going to leave her, blah blah).

 

I understand that men must also take responsibility for allowing women to act a certain way. But ladies, have some respect. We all know (either directly or indirectly through friends/family) how it feels to be cheated on or betrayed, so why would you knowingly subject another woman to that pain and agony? It's simply not right, and there is no justification for it.

 

You should post this in the OW Forum, I would be curious to hear their answers to this one!