whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 But he is my life. Just like his wife is HIS life. And he is his wife's life too. I hate to say it, but he was hers first, they got married...You either have to accept that you ARE JUST the OW in his life, on his terms, or walk away. Grieve and get over him so YOU can find a single man who will love ONLY you. How long do you want to stay the OW in his life? Think about that. Holidays, birthdays, vacations...All that time is spent with his wife. I'm not saying this to be mean, it's just you are NOT going to get what you want from him. He calls the shots because he knows you will come running to him when he snaps his fingers to spend time with you. I asked him that. He told me that he wants to have an open communication and not have to watch what he says to me Then he doesn't respect you. He isn't willing to compromise at all, which in turn means most of all, it's just an affair to him, not a 'friendship' or 'relationship'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BedRoomVoice Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 He respects me. When I say I dont like something He backs off. When I cry he is always around saying for me to be strong. He told me I need to be strong about this and be happy. He doesnt like her that much. He told me. She annoys him because she isnt that intelligent like i am. Just like his wife is HIS life. And he is his wife's life too. I hate to say it, but he was hers first, they got married...You either have to accept that you ARE JUST the OW in his life, on his terms, or walk away. Grieve and get over him so YOU can find a single man who will love ONLY you. How long do you want to stay the OW in his life? Think about that. Holidays, birthdays, vacations...All that time is spent with his wife. I'm not saying this to be mean, it's just you are NOT going to get what you want from him. He calls the shots because he knows you will come running to him when he snaps his fingers to spend time with you. Then he doesn't respect you. He isn't willing to compromise at all, which in turn means most of all, it's just an affair to him, not a 'friendship' or 'relationship'. Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Alright (LOL) maybe not all the time, but if there is trouble, she's usually suspect. Her and that other one, whats her name? Calf Spleen? Watch out for that name especially LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Kathleen Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Alright (LOL) maybe not all the time, but if there is trouble, she's usually suspect. Her and that other one, whats her name? Calf Spleen? Watch out for that name especially LOL Hey, how'd you know about calfspeen? Are you a member of yawnville? Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I have heard that name mentioned here several times. Forgot who though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BedRoomVoice Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 I just called him. Because I read on another post I can get in legal trouble for being in an affair. He said he would come over as long as I didnt bring up that conversation anymore. I dont feel comfortable with that. How can I reapproach the subject without him knowing? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I dont feel comfortable with that. How can I reapproach the subject without him knowing? Stop seeing him.. married, single.. it doesn't matter.. this is not a healthy relationship and borders on abusive.. Get some help... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 He respects me. When I say I dont like something He backs off. then why won't he back off what you ask about earlier ? He does not respect you.. he is using you Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I talked to him about not talking about his wife and family life anymore. Well just call me silly here....but how about finding a man that isn't married? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BedRoomVoice Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 How? I asked him to come over Now Stop seeing him.. married, single.. it doesn't matter.. this is not a healthy relationship and borders on abusive.. Get some help... Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I talked to him about not talking about his wife and family life anymore. Well just call me silly here....but how about finding a man that isn't married? The fact that he's cheating on his wife, and you are an accomplice to that makes this statement of yours rather ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BedRoomVoice Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 Well when I asked him not to do certain things. In a personal way. He got a book and found out how to do it without hurting me. But I am now talking about communication. Everyone hear seems to only think about sex then why won't he back off what you ask about earlier ? He does not respect you.. he is using you Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 He respects me. When I say I dont like something He backs off. No, that's not respect...Respect is understanding eachother, being considerate of eachothers feelings...And he isn't considerate of yours..if he was, he wouldn't be discussing his wife with you and their sex life. He does this because you put up with it, give him an inch, and he'll take a foot. STANDUP TO HIM and who cares if he's mad at you for an hour or two! When I cry he is always around saying for me to be strong. Well, what else is he going to say? Think about it... He told me I need to be strong about this and be happy. Again, what else can he say? Except the truth??? = Deal with it, cuz this is how our situation is. If you don't like it, leave. And that is the truth of your situation. He is NOT going to change for you. He doesnt like her that much. He told me. She annoys him because she isnt that intelligent like i am. LOL!! Come ON. If he didn't like her, he'd leave. He has lied to her, so don't fool yourself into thinking that he wouldn't lie to you. DO NOT believe all that he tells you. Just because he says his marriage is rocky, or his wife annoys him (geez, most people I know have spouses who are annoying on a normal day) doesn't mean that she is annoying ALL the time. Again, if that was true, don't ya think he'd be divorcing her by now?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BedRoomVoice Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 I am not an accomplice and I am an accomplished woman. I love him I just cant leave him. That would be like leaving a sinking ship. The crew doesnt do that. Well just call me silly here....but how about finding a man that isn't married? The fact that he's cheating on his wife, and you are an accomplice to that makes this statement of yours rather ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Well when I asked him not to do certain things. In a personal way. He got a book and found out how to do it without hurting me. But I am now talking about communication. Everyone hear seems to only think about sex I'm not talking about sex.. you asked him to not talk about his wife around you and he refused to listen to what you were feeling and refused to do what you asked. Is the communication only good when he says what he does and you do it ? If you don't want him to talk about his wife then so be it.. he should respect your wish and not mention his wife ever again.. but no.. he told you hel will mention his wife whenever he wants.. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I am not an accomplice and I am an accomplished woman. If he is married and cheating and you are the other woman, then yes, you ARE an accomplice. Pretty sad when people can't find their own mate and have to resort to home-wrecking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BedRoomVoice Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 He told me he wants open commuication. Not that he wants to talk about her all the time. I am starting to get a headache. I think I was pushing him too hard. Maybe? I'm not talking about sex.. you asked him to not talk about his wife around you and he refused to listen to what you were feeling and refused to do what you asked. Is the communication only good when he says what he does and you do it ? If you don't want him to talk about his wife then so be it.. he should respect your wish and not mention his wife ever again.. but no.. he told you hel will mention his wife whenever he wants.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BedRoomVoice Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 I am not a home-wrecker. I havent ever been to his house. I dont know where it is. What is a mate? Did you mean another boyfriend? If he is married and cheating and you are the other woman, then yes, you ARE an accomplice. Pretty sad when people can't find their own mate and have to resort to home-wrecking. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I am not a home-wrecker. I havent ever been to his house. I dont know where it is. What is a mate? Did you mean another boyfriend? You don't have to be at his house to be a home wrecker. The fact that he is pounding you part-time means he isn't giving his attention to his family. Something wrong with finding your own man? And when I say mate I mean, its pretty sad when you can't find your own man. Tell me, does this man have kids? And if he does, do you not feel one ounce of remorse for the lack of decency you are showing to his family? And he is a CHEATER! For him to do this to his family...well hell...you say you are an accomplished woman, yet you bed down with this guy...I won't call him a man because he is not. A man doesn't risk destroying his family over a part-time booty call. What kind of woman wants a man that doesn't do right by his family? And the fact that he is a cheater....what...you don't think he could and would do the same thing to you? I don't see a whole lot of accomplishment coming from someone that accepts such low standards in a man. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I am not a home-wrecker. I havent ever been to his house. I dont know where it is. Are you serious? The term homewrecker has nothing to do about "going" to his house...It means interferring in their marriage...Though, you're not doing it alone, he's letting you in, so infact, you're both at fault for this. He's wrecking his OWN marriage, and you are helping him do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BedRoomVoice Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 All these terms have been very confusing to me. I am very upset. By all of this. I came for help and all I have been getting is word after word that doesnt seem to make any sense. Can someone please talk to me in english Link to post Share on other sites
Kathleen Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 All these terms have been very confusing to me. I am very upset. By all of this. I came for help and all I have been getting is word after word that doesnt seem to make any sense. Can someone please talk to me in english I am trying to help you here. You keep calling me a trouble maker. I feel this is not a healthy situation for you. Are at all willing to stop seeing this man? Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 All these terms have been very confusing to me. I am very upset. By all of this. I came for help and all I have been getting is word after word that doesnt seem to make any sense. Can someone please talk to me in english Uh that is English my dear. We have spoken very clearly. Here, this will sum it up....you are screwing a married man, yet you have the audacity to complain about him talking about his family? You are seriously screwed up in the head. And I think this guy realizes this which is why he can get away with using you as a booty-call. Bottom line, you are messing around with a married man, you have no right to complain about anything he says. He is not a man to be risking his family like this and you seem fine with such a bastard like that. And the fact that you cannot understand that PLAIN English indicates that you are in no way "accomplished" as you say. I hope this guy's wife finds out and beats you to a pulp. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I am sorry you're upset, but your situation isn't good for you at all. Take a step back and ask yourself what you are getting from your MM. What is it that you're confused about? What doesn't make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I am sorry you're upset, but your situation isn't good for you at all. Take a step back and ask yourself what you are getting from your MM. What is it that you're confused about? What doesn't make sense? She is delusional. She wants us to help her carry on a relationship with a married man? She has a screw loose. Link to post Share on other sites
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