Crystal Posted October 15, 2002 Share Posted October 15, 2002 on people dating after being in a relationship is that it may be okay with each other as long as they both agree... i think the real problem(s) come along when the other starts a new relationship and the new person is jealous of the previous relationship with the ex. at least that has been my case several times...i have been on both ends of both. i have been the ex who stayed friends with my ex, then when he started seeing someone else, she hated me being in his life, and he had to tell me g'bye... i fully understood..having been the new girlfiend with a guy and to find out he is still friends with HIS ex, and i would not put up with it. it was her or me but not both....mostly i won out...so that is my take on the friendship after love sega..lol i hope you will be in better spirits after this post, and all will be well for you.. Crystal Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 15, 2002 Share Posted October 15, 2002 In my opinion, the ability to stay friends after a break-up is disproportionate to the depth of feelings held by the one who cared the most. It is absolutely insane to torture oneself by being friends with someone you may still have deep feelings for romantically...who does not have those same feelings. Break-ups happen for a good reason. Yes, there are certainly circumstances where friendships can be ignited sometime after a break-up but those are rare. There is generally no purpose for such a friendship short of having someone to talk to until another relationship comes on the horizon. If two people can become friends right after a break-up, there wasn't much there in terms of romantic attachment or there is some kind of convoluted agenda on the part of one or both of the parties. It is not a friendship in a pure sense. I wouldn't even say ex's, generally, make very good acquaintances. Psychologically, as painful as it may be, it is so much better to just put people in your past to create space for something new and better. But I have the deepest respect for those who can actually have a friendship with an ex lover where either or both don't have some serious head problems that keeps the desire to be together alive. New relationships deserve to be entered and nurtured unencumbered by bullshxt from the past. Yes, there are exceptions, but very few. Hillary Clinton is a good example. There's a married woman who is actually divorced but who stays buddies with her two, no three, maybe ten timing husband (in name only) for political gain. Talk about an agenda. Seems pretty fake to me! Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal Posted October 15, 2002 Share Posted October 15, 2002 I GUESS i should of added that when i became friends with my ex's, it was after some time had past, the healing was done, and it was a pleasantry to see the person without all the hurt and baggage of the past. that is the way things happened on my end...but to leave a relationship THEN go straight into a friendship, THAT i could not do!!! one really needs the time to heal....some of been so bad that you just dont want to even see the person... so yeah it is just an individual thing with each person...... and i think the healing needs to be done first before any friendship can be established... Link to post Share on other sites
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