Final Heaven Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Okay I have been friends with this girl for almost a year now, we click and sometimes we do flirt with eachother but that was all, it seems then there was no chemistry between us whatsoever but still I do find her attractive in her own ways. Anyway we both went on our ways meeting new people and making new friends. She seemed like a nice girl,but somtimes I just questioned her morality. I mean little things like there was once she got together with a friend of mine who was already with someone else. I mean I know it takes 2 hands to make a clap but its morally wrong and it kinda shows what kind of person you are. And also other things like flirting with one of my friends boyfriend.Other then that I think she is ok. Things started the last 4 months when she came to see me at my workplace during my training which I must say made me kinda impressed. Seldom girls would come visit me out of the blue unless its something they wanted or needed help with. I was kinda thinking to myself "she probably needs some help with something", but the end of the day she actually came just to see how I was and all. I was kinda touched when she left, I mean I never had this kind of oppurtunity not even with my ex.It was always the other way around where I would go visit and check on them instead. Then she would do funny and weird things that I know a normal girl friend wouldn't do. Eventually I thought to myself and just let nature do its work.Yeah I did almost fall for her at one time, until she started telling me about this other guy she fancies. Instantly a major turn off, I mean it's been like 3 guys she has told me about,and everytime she does that it just wonder to myself is this some sort of a hint? Or am I just reading her wrongly. So eventually I just backed off a little, because I knew from past experience that once feelings are expressed friendship status might never be the same again.Then now suddenly she is like trying to get back on track with me, started asking where I would wanna go do my next training and if I wanted to go together. So am I like thinking to myself err is it because she really wants to go with me or she just needs me as a just in case guy. Maybe I am paranoid.. noone likes the idea of being used right even if we were friends there should be boundries. I mean why bother right if she isn't your girlfriend. I wonder what she wants from me? Feedbacks appreicated whether it is bad or good.. Link to post Share on other sites
kymberann Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Could be she is trying to make you jealous in hopes that you would make a move. I personally don't think this is a good tactic to use as those we want to attract usually get turned off when we do try this! I think it is a good idea to take into account her history with flirting with friends's BF and the like, but do you really know if she knew these guys were already taken? Personally, since you have known her for a year I think it is time to ask her that! But first you need to decide whether or not you want something with this girl. Best! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Final Heaven Posted February 4, 2007 Author Share Posted February 4, 2007 Yeap exactly like what you said it's a turn off. Cause everytime when I decide to ask, a part of me just say "come on man, she is not interested in you,look she just told you she fancy this other guy, so stop being and idiot and save your own pride". Yeah so happens the 1st guy she got together with was my friend and was already taken,cute guy but then he had the reputation of being a player.When I asked her about it she said it's was kinda of a fling thing and that he said he was single until the truth came out and they last around 2 weeks together. The thing about her flirting with my friends boyfriend didn't bother me much. My other girlfriends complains to me about it, but then I don't really see a problem cause they too are always flirting with other guys when they are already have a boyfriend. Funny its like pot calling the kettle black. Personally for me it's ok to flirt with your friends girlfriend or boyfriends as long as there were boundries like you know, not too much touching and stuff like that. Yea I admit sometimes I get a bit jealous when she tells me about this other guy and flirt with other guys, but then I think to myself its not like she is my gf or anything. I mean if she was then we would probably have gone through the do's and dont's. And the fact that she is still single means like she is entitled to pursue anyone she wants. Do I like her? Yeah ima kinda attracted to her, it's not like she is drop dead gorgeos but she is my kinda meal if u get what I mean. She is like 5 years my junior and I am 25. But the reasons I am holding back because I am kinda unsure. I mean I have lots of girlfriends and I know sometimes they just use guys as ego boost,like flirt with them get them all heated up. And when the guy finally falls for them they go like "i think I just wanna stay friends". Thats when a beautiful friendship will be ruined and it always end up like either parties not talking to each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Final Heaven Posted February 5, 2007 Author Share Posted February 5, 2007 Well today when I saw her she came and asked me to participate in some event organized by her group of friends in conjunction with valentines. So anyway we flirted a little and then I left. Later on I msg her and jokingly asked if we could date the people working on the event and she said no because they would be busy. Then I proceed to ask her if she was free for valentines. Her reply was... "Ima still waiting for that guy to ask me out haha. nah,we are celebrating XXXX birthday and I think they have something planned" Well I was kinda in a way dissapointed and at the same time relief. Dissapointed because apparently her friends birthday seemed to interest her more then going out with me on valentines. Relief that I could move on now. I believe that I should put a little bit of distance between us, and I should really stop doing favours and being too nice to her. Any comments on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 Sometimes it is hard. I look forward to seeing the best of times, and when they go awry, you say to yourself, wtf? But, we all have bad times and can't just look at the good. Anyways, I am happy when I see that people are attentive to the good. Which I guess, I am responding. I must admit, I am sometimes biased and don't respond as I should when but I guess that depends. Maybe I just am afraid of the negative outbursts that grasped the situation. But, I used to be so good at being the mediator. But the backlash was when I stopped. Maybe if I tryed to convey that the negative aspects are one of the only aspects that keep me from being who I really feel I could be. But then again maybe others might feel 'less in control' and I don't want to be the do or die person. I mean how many times do I 'request, but really want to express so much that I feel would be a positive? Maybe I'm just fooling myself. And that what I feel and see are just what they claim. And I should just back away quietly with my self intact. Can't say it didn't bother me, at the time, but then I see, regardless whenever I did speak out, I felt the wrath of whom was intended. I believe I did the right thing, and my stand on the issues as expressed are that I am best to just let lying dogs lie. Any one have a point of interest? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Final Heaven Posted February 7, 2007 Author Share Posted February 7, 2007 Sry but I am having a hardtime trying to digest what you just replied. Anyone here who understands? Link to post Share on other sites
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