I promised myself that I wouldn't care, but irritatingly enough, I do

[Guest]

All right. Where to begin? I guess I'll start off by saying that I've been with my boyfriend for about five months now. He's never been into porn (or at least, doesn't appear so to me...no Hustlers or Playboys lying around), but does like cars, and gets a lot of the car/truck magazines. Of course, these magazines are just chock-full of girls in itsy-bitsy bikinis, but it never bothered me before. Even though I acknowledge the fact that he most likely appreciates the way the girls look, I know he gets the magazines for the car/truck aspect of them alone.

 

But a few weeks ago, I noticed that there were a few of these magazines underneath the sink in his bathroom. I once more didn't think much of it, and figured it was probably for "bathroom reading" if you catch my drift, lol. Tonight, while I was at his house, my boyfriend was in the shower and I was lying on his bed. I noticed that the same magazines he had underneath his sink before were now lying on his dresser. I was bored and so I picked one up to read. Imagine my suprise when a couple of his own "inserts" - pictures of more girls in bikinis, ripped out from other magazines - fell out.

 

It stunned me. And irritates me, because I've always told myself (and my boyfriend as well) that I wouldn't care if he happened to look at stuff like that/porn, because I didn't think it would upset me. I guess I always figured that he wouldn't look anyway, which is naive, I suppose? Now I'm also wondering if he possibly had the magazines in the bathroom to use as assistance while he...you know. It's got me feeling jealous and insecure. I wasn't sure whether or not to bring it up to him, and decided not to. Now I don't know what to do - should I just zip my lips, and act as if nothing is wrong in front of my boyfriend? And some advice on how to accept the knowledge that my boyfriend looks at other girls in a sexual manner...(yes, I've realized before that he must, but it was never this in-my-face before) would help. Thanks for any suggestions/words of wisdom/advice.

[Javelin]

I'm in the same situation with my girlfriend, almost identical with a few different twists in the picture.

 

I happen to be a culprit of pornography, I was labeled the, 'Porn King' by a few of my buddies for my extensive collection and later built a very successful website hosting full porn movies! My girlfriend on the other hand never knew this about me when we were friends (8 years ago), but when we started dating just last year, I had to spill my beans as I had to tell her why I had so much pornography in my home (lol). We've been dating for nearly a year and she's still uneasy about it all and from time to time breaks down. Although recently she has managed to deal with it as long as I keep it hidden away and continuously reassure her that I'm always thinking of her and not the ladies in the pornography videos.

 

Anyway, back to you!

 

Now I don't know what to do - should I just zip my lips, and act as if nothing is wrong in front of my boyfriend?

 

Never hide your feelings in a relationship, it'll just make you moody and upset anytime something reminds you about the issue. Remember, what he doesn't know, he cannot help to fix!

 

Advice

 

May I suggest a chat with him about the way you feel, but note the chat! Don't escalate the situation by screaming at him for having magazines he's had in his possession way before you were dating. It seems he's a pretty stand up guy, most males into vehicles are, so I'm sure he won't mind keeping the magazines hidden from you!

 

I love the saying, " Out of sight, out of mind! "

 

Anyways, I hope that helps!