RecordProducer Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Abortion is not a form of birth control.But it certainly controls the outcome of birth! "Abortion is not a form of birth control"-- I agree 100% while I do suport a womens right to choose I think that its all to often used as a easy out for people who again dident think who would be getting hurt by there actions.. If a woman wants to have the baby, she will use the I-am-against-abortion disarming prerogative as an excuse to have it. The same woman will gladly abort her pregnancy in a different situation when it suits her. Hence the whole anonymity thing - because of the hypocrisy that's standing behind it. It has nothing to do with whether abortions are good or bad; it's that women make them good or bad depending on what suits them at the moment. Cheaters also know that cheating is bad and they will say it out loud, but they still cheat and find excuses for it. What bothers me is not the women who ARE hypocrites; it's the seed they spread around injecting in young girls' minds that abortion is the worst sin. We end up having children having children and kids living with irresponsible mothers. Most unwanted children end up with their moms, not given up for adoption. I am simply pro-choice without the social stigma that washes brains and ruins people's lives. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Is this going to turn into yet another abortion thread? While I'm glad you seem pretty non chalant about it and all, I think there have been enough threads about it. Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 W annoys you? WTF! Imagine how SHE felt on dday! As for your child, I agree w/ RP about finding out what your rights are on this. Does the W have legal rights to even be picking up this child? If it is such a big deal about W picking up your child why did you even let him go w/ her? That is what I can't figure out. I would of called work and told them I would be late or wouldn't be coming in that day, end of story. If my H xOW was the only way I could get to work b/c she needed to take my children I would rather loose my job than let her take my kids anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 It sounds like you're just upset that he didn't come see you himself. You seem bitter that he chose her over you and are using your baby as a means to cause problems, and that your taking issue with his wife picking up with kid is just an excuse to contact your exMM. Accept that your affair is over and that she is his wife. What exactly does the custody agreement say about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Karma24 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Frankly, if I were against abortion and didn't want to have a child, I'd stop f*cking altogether except during my period. Public Service Announcement: You CAN get pregnant while on your period. Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 I've tried to be nice to her but she is a sassy girl, who gives a bad attitude Well ....shhyaa...can anyone blame her? You slept with her husband. the attitude MM used to complain about when we dated! Cheating men will say whatever to make it look as if their relationship with their wife isn't all that great....just to get in your pants. And you bought it. Why did he go back with his wife if she already knew about you and she was so bad...hmmm? I asked her where he was she said he could not make it so I yelled at her that he needed to give me a courtesy call if she was gonna pick up the baby, she just gave me attitude and rolled her eyes Of course she rolled her eyes. You want courtesy from a woman you pretty much destroyed? How should I of dealt with this?? I don't have to deal with her especially her dumb attitude, I can't believe how ballsy she is too! I want to tell him off the next time I see him!! LOL....your demented. You sleep with another man's wife, pretty much helping this husband destroy their family, whether they are together or not....and then expect graciousness from her? I can't believe how ballsy you are to bed down another woman's husband. And bottom line, this husband, who needs the ever-lovin' dog crap slapped out of him, told you what you wanted to hear so he could bed you...and it worked! I still think its funny that you are surprised she has attitude after you slept with her husband. I don't think anyone would blame her if she would have slapped the pi$$ out of you after you yelled at her. Link to post Share on other sites
bellababygirl Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 I think the situation needs to be stepped away from and looked at again. If the xOW and BW are going to both be a part of the MM life (because the child will always be his child) then some type of understanding needs to be met. I mean, a child can feel tension. After all, isnt the most important thing here is that the child has a R with his father. It really has ceased to be about the OW or BW...the MM has made the choice of who he is with, the BW chose to accept his A and its results and the OW, well, she has to accept her son deserves a R with his father...and unfortunately, it did not end up in a nuclear family with her. However, it doesnt mean there cant be a truce between OW and BW. As long as the BW is good to the OW child, then I would be thankful she is supportive and promoting the R betweent the child and father. Now, if she were abusive to the child it would be a different circumstance entirely! Link to post Share on other sites
brownsugah Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Let me get this straight,you sleep with this woman's husband then end up having a baby with this guy and you don't want the wife involved. You expect the wife to smile while you yell at her cause her husband didn't pick the kid up. What nerve, your lucky she didn't bash your face in for your cocky attitude. I gotta totally agree with this one, well not the bash you in your face part. But don't expect smiles from this woman after what you and her hubby did. Link to post Share on other sites
Babybird Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 BBG had a great attitude about how to be. It's not sickening and the choice was made to bring the child into this world. Who are you to say she had "no right"? I didn't realize that people needed permission to have children in this country and actually she DOES have the right to have this child. It's her choice. Her right and her body. Once again: It's not her marriage. It's his. If he didn't want a child by the OW he shouldn't have had sex with her. We don't have to agree with her choice. She wasn't nor will she ever ask if she SHOULD'VE had the baby. He's here! BBG has made the decision to have her baby too. If you don't like that tough sh*t. She never asked for an opinion on that. She didn't sound the slighest bit delusional or pathetic to me. She sounded dead on. Link to post Share on other sites
bellababygirl Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Her child, my child, every child that is conceived has the right to be born. Again, I think you are looking at it as MY right MM right or BW right...well, I have news...THE CHILD'S RIGHT OUTWEIGHS THAT OF ALL THREE PARTIES! A child is the only one innocent and did not chose to be involved with any of the three parties...Just because he is born of an A doesnt make the adults have a free for all to disregard how their decsions effect him. Again, I believe as long as their is a healthy positive treatment towards the child from all involved it really should be about supporting a R between the child and his mother and father. If the situation where reversed (MW stayed with BH whom is raising a child with a him from and A with OM) they (MW and BH) would owe nothing less than support of the child to know his biological father. It is not about the adult rights or R... Link to post Share on other sites
vanilla chai Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 BBG had a great attitude about how to be. It's not sickening and the choice was made to bring the child into this world. Who are you to say she had "no right"? I didn't realize that people needed permission to have children in this country and actually she DOES have the right to have this child. It's her choice. Her right and her body. Once again: It's not her marriage. It's his. If he didn't want a child by the OW he shouldn't have had sex with her. We don't have to agree with her choice. She wasn't nor will she ever ask if she SHOULD'VE had the baby. He's here! BBG has made the decision to have her baby too. If you don't like that tough sh*t. She never asked for an opinion on that. She didn't sound the slighest bit delusional or pathetic to me. She sounded dead on. guess what the wife didn't get to make any decisions,her hubby and the ow did. It just amazes me all the sh*t some ow want the bw to swallow. Link to post Share on other sites
YoMomma Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 guess what the wife didn't get to make any decisions,her hubby and the ow did. It just amazes me all the sh*t some ow want the bw to swallow. Originally Posted by Babybird It's not her marriage. It's his. If he didn't want a child by the OW he shouldn't have had sex with her. Vanilla - How right on you are! Actually - from what Bella stated - they (MM/OW) wanted to wait a few years before having a child together (okay what's wrong with that picture? he is MARRIED,no?). Not that its any of our/my business - but makes ya wonder what kind of protection they were using to prevent the pregnancy that MM obviously didn't want to happen - at least not for a few years ? And what a charm he's been to his wife - for not using protection against STD's (condom) - in my opinion - lets face it - if he will screw around on his wife - what makes you think he's not screwing around with others? I am sure Bella's going to say "oh... I trust him he only has sex on the side with me...." - which is fine if she wants to believe that - but how do you know if the wife isn't just as dumb as he is & screwing around on HIM without protection (thinking STD)? Like playing Russian Roulette... Oh...wait I forgot - the condom probably broke that night! Ya, right.... He wasn't 41 ? He wasn't single ? The condom broke ? But's he is a billionaire - so we hit the jackpot :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
bellababygirl Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 guess what the wife didn't get to make any decisions,her hubby and the ow did. It just amazes me all the sh*t some ow want the bw to swallow. But the BW did make a choice. She CHOSE to stay with him when she knew of the A. resulting with his child from OW. So, if you accpet that you must accpet the adult role of being a better woman for the sake of the man you love and his relationship with his son...OW or not. The child is part of the man you love, so if you love him you should not be able to harbor resentment towards an innocent child...no one says you have to like the OW! Link to post Share on other sites
vanilla chai Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 But the BW did make a choice. She CHOSE to stay with him when she knew of the A. resulting with his child from OW. So, if you accpet that you must accpet the adult role of being a better woman for the sake of the man you love and his relationship with his son...OW or not. The child is part of the man you love, so if you love him you should not be able to harbor resentment towards an innocent child...no one says you have to like the OW! why not lay some of this same responsibilty on your mm. If his wife chose to stay in the marriage so did he. Who says she has to like your child? All the bw has to do is tolerate your child and not hurt the child Link to post Share on other sites
bellababygirl Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 why not lay some of this same responsibilty on your mm. If his wife chose to stay in the marriage so did he. Who says she has to like your child? All the bw has to do is tolerate your child and not hurt the child I have no desire to know about his M. He knows I dont want to know about it, negative or positve. If he D. his wife I want him to do it because he wants to not because of me, or my demand of him to D. My MM has decades with his BW. I am not his first OW and am sure he has had many over the years of their M. Their M. is not my business. He asks me why I dont want to know and I tell him the same thing. If his BW were to call me I wouldnt lie to her, but I would also tell her the relationship is not my business, good or bad. However, when it comes to our child...a child can tell the difference between someone caring for them and tolerating them. If our child were to be negatively efffected by BW then I would have something to say about it...first to my MM and if he did not solve the issue with her I would. In any situation the child should be protected...the child and parent relationship is extraneous of the MM and BW and/or OW relationship! Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 ...I yelled at her that he needed to give me a courtesy call... Ha ha, good one! You can prove you're better than the BW by acting better. E.g. put the child first and give the W some lessons in courtesy by example. Heck, the two of you could have a silent war trying to outdo each other in the "courteous demeanor" department. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 ok I'm back, IF ya don't knwo my story here is a quick recap, I have a baby from MM and he got back with his wife, so anyways the other day I got drop my son off to him on my way to work and guess who shows up to get my son?? yes! his wife does, first off she is not responsible for picking up my son, he is, he did not call me to say he couldn't get him and ask me if this was ok, and no where in our court records does it say she is allowed to get him, for all I didn't know she could of killed him then was there to get my son next. I didn't know how to handle the situation, I just got mad, my son was already throwing a fit cause he did not want to get off the car and then she shows her face, I've tried to be nice to her but she is a sassy girl, who gives a bad attitude, the attitude MM used to complain about when we dated! I asked her where he was she said he could not make it so I yelled at her that he needed to give me a courtesy call if she was gonna pick up the baby, she just gave me attitude and rolled her eyes, I eventually had to hand off my son to her so I could get to work, I called MM while I was driving off but of course he did not answer I called twice, no answer! How should I of dealt with this?? I don't have to deal with her especially her dumb attitude, I can't believe how ballsy she is too! I want to tell him off the next time I see him!! Wow....my heart goes out to you....personally I wouldn't let my kid around either of them....I would be so afraid the W would do something to him, he's just a little guy and so many things can happen....people ....anger....A....not a good situation for the little guy..... Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Her child, my child, every child that is conceived has the right to be born. Again, I think you are looking at it as MY right MM right or BW right...well, I have news...THE CHILD'S RIGHT OUTWEIGHS THAT OF ALL THREE PARTIES! A child is the only one innocent and did not chose to be involved with any of the three parties...Just because he is born of an A doesnt make the adults have a free for all to disregard how their decsions effect him. Again, I believe as long as their is a healthy positive treatment towards the child from all involved it really should be about supporting a R between the child and his mother and father. If the situation where reversed (MW stayed with BH whom is raising a child with a him from and A with OM) they (MW and BH) would owe nothing less than support of the child to know his biological father. It is not about the adult rights or R... Bella....this is a wonderful, heartfelt post.... Man I can't believe some of the horrible responses in this thread.... Link to post Share on other sites
bellababygirl Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Bella....this is a wonderful, heartfelt post.... Man I can't believe some of the horrible responses in this thread.... Thank you, there seems to be a great deal of judgement and blame in many posts..,.well, none of that is beneficial to anyone, Whatever they are judging and blaming has already occured (why cry over spilled milk?) A child, they truly are innocent. I really hope people can offer positive suggestions and solutions to this thread...as there is a child and his R. with his father at stake... Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 After all, isnt the most important thing here is that the child has a R with his father. Not at all. Frankly, if my husband cheated on or split with me and had a baby with the OW and I decided to stay with him (which I wouldn't), the happiness of the child would NOT be the most important thing to me. It would be the happiness of my children and me. I wouldn't be abusive to an innocent child, I understand that it would be very hard on the kid, but it would be hard on me, too and making that kid happy would be far from my goal number one in my life. Just because he is 3 and I am 30 or 40 doesn't make my life less valuable in MY eyes. My life is more valuable to me than that of the OW's child. I am not saying this is a very generous attitude. It would be more saint-like if I'd say that I would accept the child with all my heart. But I am 100% certain that I wouldn't, just like I am 100% certain that I wouldn't cut him off or be rude to him either. I would treat him nicely but never get rid of the feeling that I wish he was never born. Link to post Share on other sites
bellababygirl Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Not at all. Frankly, if my husband cheated on or split with me and had a baby with the OW and I decided to stay with him (which I wouldn't), the happiness of the child would NOT be the most important thing to me. It would be the happiness of my children and me. I wouldn't be abusive to an innocent child, I understand that it would be very hard on the kid, but it would be hard on me, too and making that kid happy would be far from my goal number one in my life. Just because he is 3 and I am 30 or 40 doesn't make my life less valuable in MY eyes. My life is more valuable to me than that of the OW's child. I am not saying this is a very generous attitude. It would be more saint-like if I'd say that I would accept the child with all my heart. But I am 100% certain that I wouldn't, just like I am 100% certain that I wouldn't cut him off or be rude to him either. I would treat him nicely but never get rid of the feeling that I wish he was never born. Then it is a good thing you would not stay with him! Anyone who would damage a child's innocence purposefully shouldnt be alloted the privledge of being around children! Link to post Share on other sites
YoMomma Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Then it is a good thing you would not stay with him! Anyone who would damage a child's innocence purposefully shouldnt be alloted the privledge of being around children! How about a man who cheats on his wife... and gets his OW pregnant - um... didn't he just blow apart his 'nuclear family'? Link to post Share on other sites
bellababygirl Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 How about a man who cheats on his wife... and gets his OW pregnant - um... didn't he just blow apart his 'nuclear family'? Still wont change the fact that the child is part of him, and will always be a part of him. A spouse is someone you chose (a child doesnt chose)...and if he is having a child with OW then he obviously didnt chose his BW in that instance. Not saying a MM having children with OW is right, but right or wrong a child deserves a relationship with his father and mother...and if a BW stays with her cheating H she will have to accept any ramifications of children with OW...if she cant she needs to leave him. A child comes before any BW, MM or OW... Link to post Share on other sites
YoMomma Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 if a BW stays with her cheating H she will have to accept any ramifications of children with OW...if she cant she needs to leave him. A child comes before any BW, MM or OW... The only thing she has to accept is that there is a child born from your affair - she doesn't have to do another dam thing! The ball is in her court regarding how she choses to deal with the child... she can choose to refuse the child into her home - again the ball is in her court. Not yours as far as what she will accept or not accept. Her children are grown... I am sure the only babies this woman wants to deal with are her 'grandchildren'! Speaking of which...does your MM have grandchildren - maybe they can be playmates at the local playground! Link to post Share on other sites
Author motosexlover Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 WoW I can't believe my thread is still going. I've been caught up in work that I had not had a chance to come back and read responses. Well I don't feel bad! Yes I was with her man, forgive me I had made a bad decision and everyday I pay for it, huge life lesson! Trust me however through this whole ordeal I have been very respectful to her and she just seems to be a little B*T*H. She chose to take him back so she needs to deal! If she wants to give attitude I have no problem with giving it back. As far as MM he is very immature and can't deal either so he acts a fool. I had my ex husband pick up the baby from him once and I had the common courtesy to call him and ask if this was ok knowing that my ex H had no right to pick up the baby and MM had no obligation to give him my son. MM and BS just need to get it together. I only have an obligation to deal with MM not her! When she comes with attitude I just think dang girl that is the same attitude that got your man cheating on you with me! Link to post Share on other sites
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