question everyone!!

[butterflyz]

i found out that the obsessed freak is going to have a book written about me.

 

either he really doesn't love me or doesn't know me. because if he loved me he wouldn't hurt me. if he knew me, he'd know that i'd hate this. if he wanted any kind of peace between us, this will surely end it.

 

he's determined to turn me into some sort of icon. i don't want this. i just want to live a normal peaceful existence. i don't want to mentor anyone, i don't want to be a role model for abused women i just want to be left alone. i wish he were dead.

 

i consulted with my lawyer and he said that unless the book has mistruths in it (which it will ,because the only truth comes from me)i can't sue him. there's no way to stop it.

 

i am sick to death of him. i don't see this, or his obsession with me or his stalking as a compliment. i see him as a very sick person who needs help. he's one of those people that would stalk movie stars if he found one he liked.

 

but, in the next lifetime, when we get to do this again, i will destroy him.

[butterflyz]

he has a histrionic personality disorder combined with ocd for any of you psych majors out there.

 

ladies, be very careful who you think you like and want to date. because if i had known this person completely, i never would have been attracted to him. he presented himself as a different person to me. i do not have feelings for the person that he has exposed himself to be.

 

i don't know how to convince people that we both know that what he is doing is not love, it's a sickness. he wants to possess me, not love me. he is a miserable person and he wants me miserable with him.

 

this is the evil that money can do. people do what he wants because they know he can make their lives miserable (just look at what he's done to me) - so they go along with him to hurt me.

 

but, in the end, he will never have my heart. he can make my life miserable and follow me to the ends of the earth, but he will never have me in his life. i'm sure he will continue to be spiteful and try to make sure that no man wants to date me, because he's told everyone i'm his girl. and remember, nobody wants to get on this guy's bad side.

 

stay tuned, i'm sure they'll be more to report on.

[Tony T]

Untruths that are written about us are not actionable in a court of law unless they expose us to embarrassment, public ridicule or otherwise subject us to ruin of reputation or money damages. You must be defamed or slandered and the book has to be seen by a sufficient number of persons to convince a jury that you have been damaged.

 

Almost every book, including history books and newspaper stories, contains untruths or exaggerations. (If you don't believe me, email the President Bush and ask him. There are many unauthorized autobiographies that contain untruths and inaccuracies but they don't cause significant damage.

 

It would be my very best guess that this gentleman will not undertake the energy, time and extreme expense of writing and publishing a book about you. By the time he got halfway through, he would have forgotten about you unless he is certifiably crazy. If he is insane, you would not get a jury award in that case either.

 

Additionally, unless you are a celebrated individual of some magnitude, a publisher would not be interested in the book and it would be virtually unmarketable...unless it were a very interested fiction novel. A publisher of any repute whatsoever, which valued its assets, would not publish material that was libelous or slanderous and would check out all questionable facts thoroughly before putting something out on the streets.

 

Your attorney should have advised you of various legal actions you could take to stop this harassment. Most states have stalking and other laws to protect individuals like yourself in these situations. You can also get a peace bond or an injunction fromt he court ordering him to stop the harassment and to keep a good distance from you.

 

Go find another attorney.

 

This man cannot hurt you unless you allow him too. Stop giving him such power over your mind and feelings.

[butterflyz]

he is crazy. he is obsessed and determined to make me into a celebrity, whether i want this or not.

 

everything you say makes sense, but the overwhelming feeling that i have is that he'll never go away. i'm doomed.

 

i attempted to get a restraining order, but to no avail.

 

the way i feel and this is the truth. if he publishes a book about me i will sink further into seclusion or i will kill myself.

[Tony T]

He will publish no book. If he does, what is the worst thing that can happen....you won't sue him because he has insufficient assets to make it worth your while. If he doesn't have enough assets to sue, he doesn't have enough assets to publish a book. Those things cost money.

 

You are upset and irrational at present. I urge you to seek professional counselling so you can get this in perspective. If a court determined, after presentation of all your evidence, that this man is not a threat to you in any way...then you have to work on yourself and your reaction to things.

 

Calm down and stop engaging in such drama. Don't answer the phone, don't answer email, etc. If he actually persists in bothering you, you can have him arrested...absolutely!!!

[butterflyz]

he is filthy rich. and that's how he gets away with everything. he will pay to have this book published, printed and distributed with his own money.

 

he flew people from my childhood to florida to get all his info. he's serious about the book.

 

i guess i serve more than one purpose to him. besides serving some sick sexual need, i can make him money.

 

the only reason the court didn't give me the restraining order is because he gets people to do his dirty work, so his hands stay clean. it was hard to compile the evidence.

 

there is obviously no reasoning with him. he feels he has to take over my life, and in the process, he will extinguish it. all because of his selfishness. i guess then he can turn me into a martyr and make some more money.

 

i don't spout dramas tony. i never make a promise i don't keep. anyone who knows me, knows that if i say i'm going to do something, i will.

 

after a year of this man ruining my life, i don't have any energy left. i really don't. i keep trying to feel positive about my future. and as long as he's a part of my life, i'll never feel carefree.

 

the only way it ends is if he or i die.

 

i guess we'll all have to wait and see.

[Just A Girl2]

Butterflyz:

 

Reading through your posts in this thread, you sound overly-dramatic, akin to being a drama queen. Your repeated comments references to taking your own life should this book be written, come on, toughen up. Did it ever occur to you that this is all just a bluff to get you to freak out the way you ARE FREAKING OUT? You describe him as a very unstable individual, but you don't come across as all that stable yourself. Why would you let anyone get to you like this, particularly someone who's a nut?

 

You have no idea if a book will be written or not. Cross that bridge if and when you come to it. Why dramatize over something that hasn't yet come to pass?

 

Frankly, this whole thread sounds like a soap-opera.

 

Get some therapy, and some hobbies and interests. Get out and get busy. Live your life and take control of your own life. We can't control what others do or say.

 

If I had an ex who was this much of a nutter, I surely wouldn't be wasting my energy fussing over him and very likely making mountains out of molehills.

 

How do you even know what he's planning to do unless you yourself are somehow keeping tabs on him? Sounds like you both need some help here.

[rachelle1]

Originally posted by butterflyz

" i guess then he can turn me into a martyr and make some more money.........."

 

 

"the only way it ends is if he or i die."

 

 

Nobody can turn anyone into a martyr. A person becomes a martyr if they choose to become one.

 

I tend to agree with Tony here. There is far too much drama going on. You're all in a tither over something that hasn't even come to pass. With all due respect, you're the one who sounds obsessed here. You are allowing him to have this affect on you, that is a choice you are making.

 

If I had a crazy ex, I would leave well enough alone and I'd go on with my life and I wouldn't keep tabs on what they're doing or saying. It sounds like you are. What for?

 

Some people in life thrive on drama and chaos. As much as they protest that they hate it, deep down, they really enjoy it. In some way, it makes them feel special and important. I had a friend like that. She had a rough marriage and her husband didn't treat her well. She would constantly come running to me, with these big dramatic tales of woe, and after 4 years, I got tired of listening because she did have a choice: a choice to leave, a choice to totally remove herself from the situation (they had no children). I came to learn that she actually enjoyed the situation, in an unhealthy way. She enjoyed the chaos and pandemonium. It gave her some excitement in life.

 

Can you relate to this?

[butterflyz]

to speed.

 

this is not about this man. it is about what this man and his buddies and my so-called friends did to me. they pulled an intervention on me when i didn't need it. so i am isolated because everything i say and do gets back to the guy. it's so much more than this guy.

 

but, i know he'll keep trying to hurt me and i was happy to vent here on the site. i am trying very hard to move forward. and everytime i do, he tries to smack me back down.

 

no, i do not enjoy drama. he's trying to turn me into a celebrity and a spokesperson/mentor for abused people. i don'twant the attention, i just want a nice, cozy, quiet life. so, i am trying to return to that life. but he seems to feel that he's going to try and push me there whether i want to or not. and that was what i was upset about , in regards to the book.

[butterflyz]

as i'm reading this book on appropriate therapy for survivors of abuse, i am realizing how much damage was done to me by these people who decided to do this authoritarian intervention.

 

as i've posted earlier, a therapeutic approach focusing on survivor recovery versus cure by the therapist is important. any authoritarian power-laden approach may recapitulate the problem.

 

so, as i read on, when the trauma is restimulated the risk in doing that (reliving the original abuse trauma like that) reinforces the survivor's belief that his/her victimization-based assumptions are correct.

 

that is EXACTLY was has happened. i feel that this experience has only confirmed that the only person one can rely on is himself/herself. no one will help you. everyone will look the other way while you sink further and further down. and everyone will enjoy watching. look how many people are tickled pink about martha stewart's demise.

 

i am more untrusting and reclusive than i've ever been in my entire life. i only hope that one day all those people feel for just a moment the pain that i have felt all year long.

 

not so much to hurt them, but for them to understand the hurt they caused in me.

 

i don't focus on that, but while i'm reading this book, i do get angry when i realize how sloppy and careless everyone was with my life. and i am happy that they are gone from my life.

[butterflyz]

hi everyone.

 

i wanted to leave a message in hopes that you all could learn from my experiences over the last year.

 

obsession does not equal love. a man that is obsessed with a woman reduces the object of his affection to exactly that - an object - an object to manipulate and spin around like a top.

 

ladies and gentleman, please, if ever you come across someone that wants your help in obtaining the object of desire - DON'T HELP. chances are good that the obsessor is toxic to the one he wants. and that's it. he wants what he wants. he won't care how many lives he destroys in the process. he won't care about what the impact is to the person he wants. he'll even try to position himself as someone that can help her recuperate, after the trauma. in fact, the more debilitated she is , the better. because then he knows she's on her last leg. this is not loving behavior - this is sick, disgusting, insecure and highly dysfunctional.

 

he'll convince you that she needs him. when in actuality it is him that is desperate and needy for her. it is not a two way street here. with that manipulation and charm you will do anything to help him. but you are not helping her.

 

what was done to me was an abomination of human relations. i am not suffering from post traumatic stress from an innocuous event. what happened to me was bad medicine. what happened to me and my response is dictated in psychiatric publishing.

 

if these geniuses would have done a little reading, they would have seen that their approach was filled with problems. i do feel comfort in that, from what i'm reading, my current response to life is on par for what i have experienced. now, if the people in my life would stop helping him, stop relaying my confidences, stop watching him for me, i could start to work on my recuperation. and figure out how to heal. and i will do it alone, for i am the only one i trust now.

 

the obsessed one thinks i am running from him because i am so scared of my love for him - hah - it is because he is pure poison to me. it will take him another 6 months to realize that "i mean what i say and i say what i mean" - i don't want him. i do not have any feelings for him. i do not care about what happens to him. i just want him gone. that will be the only thing that will make me happy. he messed with the wrong person.

 

i hope that none of you ever experience this feeling. i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (and i have lots of those now).

 

but please, for the sake of your friends, siblings, children, etc. don't ever fall for a ploy that was shoveled to my friends, family and coworkers. thanks for letting me vent.

[Just A Girl2]

I read your posts here regarding this slightly cryptic event/encounter with this guy who's supposedly obsessed with you, who's going to write a book about you and your experiences (this IS the same guy, right?)...and I can't help but feel, from what you write, that you're thriving on the drama, you're creating the drama. I can't help but feel that you're doing little to just let the crap go and get on with your life..but instead, you're choosing to totally focus on it and hold onto it.

 

People, unfortunately, are the victims of being stalked, obsessed and taken for granted each and every day. Unfortunately, that's part of life. But making yourself into a martyr is unhealthy.

 

Why do you keep posting about all of this? Is it helping you? Or is it only helping to keep you from letting go of a bad time in your life? We all go through bad times, that's life.

 

There are proven ways to have someone who's obsessed with you, to leave you alone.

 

Change your phone number. Get an unlisted number.

 

Break off all contact. Change your email address. Block their email address from contacting you.

 

By avoiding places you know they may be.

 

By getting a restraining order if they will not leave you alone.

 

 

Sorry but you seem to thriving on all of this. Why can't you let it go? From your posts, I don't even understand what this individual continues to do to you.

 

Is he continuing to find ways to contact you? If so, why are you allowing this? Can't you do things to avoid contact?

 

Move on. Stop ALLOWING someone to have control in your life.

[butterflyz]

i have attempted to get a restraining order, i have changed my number, changed my job.

 

i do not socialize. i post here to vent. i do not share my thoughts with any people in my life, since they report everything back to him.

 

i only told one person (my therapist) that i would be going to a specific show (mostly women go to) and he showed up.

 

this is not just about him. this is about what he and his friends, my coworkers, friends and family thought was appropriate treatment for a survivor of child abuse. this is much bigger than him or he will ever be. but it was his idea and he convinced everyone to go along with it. it was a sick idea.

 

it is about how you treat people. it is about treating people with respect, kindness and caring. it is about not playing sick games with people's lives. it is about power and control even at a therapeutic level.

 

it is about foolish mistakes and price you pay for making them. it is about redemption and karma. it is about not protecting those closest to you and making them the sacrificial lamb because you know that if you don't go along, your life will be made hell too.

 

i hope this answers your question.

 

i don't discuss any of this with my normal day-to-day conversationalists. i am welcoming the day that this ends and i can live a boring, peaceful life.

 

but just like you, i like to vent and clear my emotions, as you do. i think we all could be accused of portraying drama on this site, since we come here to vent and are probably emotionally charged, as is evident in everyone's posts. but people are quick to point out fault in each other's posts without taking a very close look at themselves.

this is why i do not pick at or criticize others for their posts. we all do the same things, but sometimes we don't see ourselves.

[butterflyz]

Hi everyone:

 

I just wanted to say that I've made some observations about this forum.

 

I have noticed that I receive, very few responses to my posts. I know that the content could be perceived as bizarre, as that has been my life for the last year. if i wasn't in this, i would think that the person was off-the-wall. and possibly looking for a place to put her drama. I don't have anyone or anything right now, due to these crazy circumstances in my life. so the forum has been the only place for me to go.

 

I try to support everyone in their posts, even if it is just a "hang in there" response. I don't seem to be getting that kind of support in return. i don't give with the expectation of getting in return, but, with a few exceptions, i receive no support, maybe a negative comment, here and there. maybe that's why tony just posts responses, and not issues of his own.

 

i am considering leaving the forum. maybe i can be of more value elsewhere. i am pretty independent, so that's not the issue.

it boils down to, give and take, a crucial exchange of energy for anything to be worthwhile.

 

so, if one day my posts stop appearing, you'll know why.

 

take care.

[Tony T]

I am not here so much to give people support as to give them advice. But I will accomodate you if you describe exactly what you're looking for.

 

I do not respond to posts I don't understand...and neither do most other reasonable rational people. That would of no use to you anyway. I don't fully understand your posts but I do try. I try to sift through the hysteria to get to what is really happening...I really try.

 

I have a Ph.D. level college degree...that is, I have three degrees, a bachelors, a masters and a doctorate. My masters, obtained in Europe and there called an Honours Degree, is in psychology. I have been in broadcasting and real estate for a number of years.

 

So having the educational background as well as real life experience in the communication field, working in both newspaper and television format, I consider myself to be at least average in my ability to comprehend facts.

 

I have read your posts and responded once. It wasn't what you wanted and I'm sorry. That's OK. I chose not to become a participant in your round of fury of having your boyfriend publish a book about you. My position now remains identical to the first post I directed at you and I'm generally in agreement with most of others who have responded to you. So there was nothing I could ever add to my original post. Others followed and obviously they were not able to give you what you wanted.

 

So, if it's support you want, you got it. I support you in your efforts to not get a book published about you. However, I cannot kill your ex as that is illegal in most states, so is assaulting him, etc. You are the only person who can take legal action once he breaks a criminal or civil law.

 

You are the only person in control of yourself. I have already told you, just like others, to cool your jets. However, if its support you want I will support you in helping yourself go out of your mind over this issue. In other words, you hereby have my full support and blessings in whatever you desire to think or do as a free human being.

 

Now, you tell us precisely what you want us to support you in and I pledge, at least for me, that you will have it. If you want to let this situation overcome your entire life, engulf you, enflame you and destroy you, I will support that.

 

The only thing I will not support is an illegal act.

 

You will not get what you need from this board or anywhere else anything at all unless you specify exactly what it is you want. So go for it.

 

However, if you feel others at other message boards might be more understanding of your plight, in the interest of you solving your situation I urge you to go where you must to get the support you need. If you do, please come back and tell us how this all turned out. By golly, we did try to help!!!

[midori]

Hi butterflyz,

 

I think I hear what you're saying. Speaking for myself, I can say that I'm more inclined to reply to posts if:

 

1. I have time. Which is often not the case these days.

 

2. I feel like I understand what the person is saying. I did reply to some of your recent posts; but I couldn't quite figure out where you were coming from, which is why, if you'll recall, I asked for clarification several times.

 

3. I get the sense that the poster is genuinely interested in getting another person's perspective, and isn't just venting, or trying to get validation for something they've done or want to do, or posting a manifesto that, whether I agree with it or not, doesn't really invite a reply.

 

When I posted my problem last month I was at a point where I really really needed to hear some new perspectives. In fact it was yours (in combination with Tony's) that helped me the most. I'm much, much better now, so thanks. I think it would be a shame if you stopped contributing to this site. It's hard when you are in a place where your need for feedback and assistance is urgent. I think that's one of the limitations of relying on a website and anonymous people whose lives are invisible to you; you don't know why they're not responding. Is it because they're dismissing you? Or because they're busy? Or because they don't know what to say about a problem as complex as yours?

 

I think that this site can be a really great tool for people to hash out their problems and get honest feedback (that in-person friends might be reluctant to give). But to rely on it to serve immediate needs, when getting a drink or a cup of coffee with a friend would be the better option, is probably not going to work for very long. If at all. I know that a big part of your problem is that you feel betrayed and isolated ... I don't know what to tell you there, since you don't feel you can trust anyone in your community, and moving away from the person who's imposing this on you apparently isn't an option.

 

take care,

midori

[Debster]

It sounds to me like your problem isn't just your obsessive ex, it's also the people around you contributing to the situation.

 

My advice is to write a list of people who have and who haven't helped with this situation. Call the ones who haven't helped and actually made it worse, tell them that you are cutting them off and why. Then do it.

 

If he's getting to you through people, get rid of the people he's using.

[Daisy]

Originally posted by butterflyz

anyway, the fool followed me to ny this weekend. he has enough money to make sure that the only hotel i could get would be the one he was staying in, of course my room was right next door to him. it didn't deter me from having a good time.

 

This is the most absurd thing I've read in my life. You sound like you're totally paranoid and delusional. NY is a huge place. Do you mean to tell me that he book and paid for ALL empty hotel rooms in NY, leaving ONE empty room at the place he was staying at, next door to your room, JUST so that you'd end up there? I think you need some psychiatric help and promptly. There must be thousands of hotels there, and even more thousands of empty rooms. You're saying that he shelled out hundreds of thousands of dollars to book all the rooms, just to ensure you could only get a room where he wanted. Again, seek help.

 

he tries to alter my mind by manipulating the things i read, see, hear from shows (yes he manages to contact them) to concerts to local radio dj's. usually it's about people reconciling or about love, since he wants me to forgive him for making a mockery of my life and ruining any chance of having a normal life here.

 

You sound like a paranoid schizophrenic, with these paranoid and outlandish beliefs of yours. Again, you need some major professional help and fast.

 

I know you don't realize how bizarre and far-out your posts of late have been, including this one, but they are. Your thoughts and beliefs seem amazingly delusional and out to lunch.

 

These boards aren't a substitute for professional psychiatric help.

[Daisy]

Originally posted by butterflyz

but until i know this guy is out of my life, any counselor will betray my confidence and report everything back to him. so until i know for sure he's gone i can't reach out to anyone. he'll manipulate, convince or pay off whoever to get what he wants.

 

You are being paranoid again. Do you realize what you're saying? You're saying that every single counsellor in your area will end up in cahoots with your stalker. That is absolutely insane. Professional counsellors don't:

 

1) divulge anything they discuss with their clients, with ANYONE else..be it a spouse, a child, sibling, a boyfriend.

 

2) they cannot be "bought" by someone, the way you claim.

 

he's gotten my previous counselor to work for him, alter what she covers with me in session, all guided to work to his benefit.

 

CAN WE SAY PARANOID DELUSIONS? Oh my God, I have never read such crazy stuff before on this place. Next thing you're going to say is that he can read your thoughts and control them. Jesus.

[butterflyz]

i appreciate it. i know that this situation is unique and thus, it must be hard to absorb and reply.

 

daisy, what button did i push in you to engage such rage? you seem to have a very bad temper and seem to be a very miserable person, i feel sorry for you.

 

in the end, you'll all see that i was right. the truth will prevail eventually, and the people who didn't believe in me will feel foolish. i am a very honest person.

[butterflyz]

hi there, it's butterflyz. I am addressing the post to you because you are the only one that said to touch base on how things turn out. so...here i am.

 

I wanted to let you know that before i start the post, i am not writing this from a standpoint of anger, so i know it will be rational. My mind and heart are connected at this point.

 

I can see now how the person that has been trying to interfere with my life (he's bashed it to bits actually) is a very sick person.

 

He professes love for me to everyone i and he knows, but his actions are so destructive. So, his obsession with me, is just that, it is an obsession. Love does not destroy and attempt to degrade and humiliate. But obsession and addiction does. Love doesn't try to isolate to bring a person to their knees, so that the other can walk in and look like the hero, but obsession does.

 

In the past, this person has had sexual addictions that have degraded and humilated himself and his wife. How horrible he must feel about himself that he can't approach me with his feelings and is waiting to see if I can't take the isolation anymore. He just traded one set of addictions for another.

 

The person that i thought he was, does not exist. I thought he was kind, ethical, principled and a pillar of strength. That is so far from the truth. He is out of control and needs help. But I am not the person to help him.

 

As the truth about him began to unfold, and as I learned about all the horrific things he had done to me, in the name of "love", I became repelled by him. I didn't understand why. He still doesn't understand why. But I understand now.

 

He has a hole in his soul, that is a bottomless pit. He needs it plugged up and he wants to use me to be that plug. But he doesn't understand that I will not and cannot be that plug. A wise man once told me, "everything you need, want and desire from another is inside of you." That "mantra" is what has held me together through this year. It is the only thing.

 

This is something this guy needs to learn. Because if I allow him to use me that way, he will never learn to do it for himself (as I have) and he will always feel that love for himself is out of reach and lies with possessing another person.

 

Also, I will not and cannot allow myself to be used by a man in any way any how ever again. My first husband called me "the silver lining in the dark cloud". at first, it was wonderful and a huge compliment and it was great romance. then, after a while, the pedestal that he placed me on started to crack and falter. soon, i was constantly in a position of trying to satisfy the neediness in this man that was insatiable. That's why he was constantly in need of attention from everyone wherever we went, he had a hole in his soul too. That's always been my role, helping to fill the empty holes inside of people - yuck, not anymore.

 

Then, when my husband realized i was human and not a "neediness caretaking" machine, my fall from the pedestal was a crash and very painful.

 

This guy, the one obsessed with me, is repeating history, but in a much more destructive manner. He made sure to cozy up and become friends with everyone in my life, hoping for support. It won't help him with me.

 

And, since he is so manipulative, i can't trust a word he says. His words and actions don't match, and you know what that means Tony. You see, he should be in jail for all the things he's done to me. He will avoid justice taking place, but he will never have my heart. he is no one I respect. He has broken the law, terrorized me, vandalized my home, pushed me out of my job and has tried to isolate me to bring me to a nervous breakdown. How could he expect me to still have feelings for him. I see him as this vile, disgusting creature. he can't figure out why - that's how self-absorbed he is.

 

he is now trying to figure out whether i am not with him because there is someone else, or is it that now that he is available i don't want him, yada yada yada.

 

All he has to do , is take a look in the mirror and he'll see what repels me. I wish that everyone could see this for what it really is. and not some prettily packaged box with ribbons and bows that say "love", when inside it is dark and foul.

 

With every manipulative stunt he pulls, with the people we know, the media, etc. he just makes an idiot out of himself, because he is very dumb. while it does aggravate me (and i'm working on that), it just makes me feel grateful that i never entered a relationship with him. it makes me grateful that i saw this now. i i wish i would have saw this 3 years ago, i never would have been attracted to him. the man that he really is, does not spark anything inside of me. And - I am very happy about that - because, do you know what that means Tony? it means that i am no longer attracted to unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships and dysfunctional men.

 

he will try to evoke sympathy with more drama, hmmm maybe a bancruptcy? whatever it is, i don't care about him anymore. i do not love him.

 

eventually, i will make new friends, and down the road i will want to date again, and further down the road i will fall in love again, it just won't be with joe.

 

bye tony, thanks for listening. if you have any advice i would welcome it.

[Tony T]

I don't see where any advice is required. You do sound a bit more rational above.

 

Just do whatever you can to keep this guy totally and completely out of your life. Stop thinking about him and move forward.

 

If he interferes in your life to any serious extent, have him arrested. The guy is really pathetic.

[Ally Boo]

I'm glad to see you've gotten some hope. You seem very rational, and I wish you the best....it's on it's way.