Prim&proper Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I have done 2 weeks NC with the ex, and I've been doing pretty good. He did email me last week asking for his jeans back, which sort of brought me back to the deep end, but I have gotten over it now. Being busy at work really help. Don't get me wrong, I still miss some aspect of being in a relationship (the future planning, the traveling, the companionship, the physical intimacy), but I don't miss him as much. I've also stop fantasizing about what I'd say or do if he comes back because I don't hold any such hope any longer. I think in another few weeks I'll be ok. I've got a new routine going. I've made lots of changes in my life (new haircut, new route to work,etc) so the memory of being with him is slowly beginning to fade. I think this NC thing really works. It's amazing at times how resilient the heart is and how quickly it can forget. Good luck to all those going through a heartbreak. Remember to keep to NC. It works wonders. Link to post Share on other sites
Jane Doe Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Good for you! Keep up the good work! Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I have done 2 weeks NC with the ex, and I've been doing pretty good. He did email me last week asking for his jeans back, which sort of brought me back to the deep end, but I have gotten over it now. Being busy at work really help. Don't get me wrong, I still miss some aspect of being in a relationship (the future planning, the traveling, the companionship, the physical intimacy), but I don't miss him as much. I've also stop fantasizing about what I'd say or do if he comes back because I don't hold any such hope any longer. I think in another few weeks I'll be ok. I've got a new routine going. I've made lots of changes in my life (new haircut, new route to work,etc) so the memory of being with him is slowly beginning to fade. I think this NC thing really works. It's amazing at times how resilient the heart is and how quickly it can forget. Good luck to all those going through a heartbreak. Remember to keep to NC. It works wonders. It's GREAT that you feel that way. Remember, if you slip back and find yourself thinking about "him" or what you "may have said to him" or whatever, that's okay, we all know completely and instantly turning off past emotions is difficult if not impossible. The important point is you beleive in NC and are making progress. Bravo!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Prim&proper Posted February 5, 2007 Author Share Posted February 5, 2007 Looks like I spoke too soon. This weekend I and a few girlfriends went to the cabin that I share with the ex and 8 other people. It was just my gfs and I. The weekend was fun but memories of the ex and things belonging to him were all over the house. Well, it helped reminded me of the good times that we had there. And it sent me over the deep end. I am now home and sitting here feeling the sadness and pain all over again. I am hurting because we broke up, but I'm hurting thinking about all the terrible ways he treated me. I guess it was too soon to go back to a place that reminded me of him. I was hoping to make new memories there, but instead it just made me feel terrible as if we've broken up all over again. I packed up everything I had at the cabin and will not be returning there anytime soon or ever. I guess I spoke too soon about my recovery. Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Looks like I spoke too soon. This weekend I and a few girlfriends went to the cabin that I share with the ex and 8 other people. It was just my gfs and I. The weekend was fun but memories of the ex and things belonging to him were all over the house. Well, it helped reminded me of the good times that we had there. And it sent me over the deep end. I am now home and sitting here feeling the sadness and pain all over again. I am hurting because we broke up, but I'm hurting thinking about all the terrible ways he treated me. I guess it was too soon to go back to a place that reminded me of him. I was hoping to make new memories there, but instead it just made me feel terrible as if we've broken up all over again. I packed up everything I had at the cabin and will not be returning there anytime soon or ever. I guess I spoke too soon about my recovery. Hi P&P, I'm sorry to hear about your [highlight]bad[/highlight] day. The same thing for me though, I completely stay away from several spots that are full of memories. It makes sense not to get drawn into those thoughts until a lot of time and healing have gone by. Don’t worry about it, now you at least recognize where your emotional boundaries are and that’s a good thing! How about contact, were you tempted to make a call, text or email? Temptation is the key word – how about it – did you overcome that pull or desire? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Prim&proper Posted February 5, 2007 Author Share Posted February 5, 2007 Hi P&P, I'm sorry to hear about your [highlight]bad[/highlight] day. The same thing for me though, I completely stay away from several spots that are full of memories. It makes sense not to get drawn into those thoughts until a lot of time and healing have gone by. Don’t worry about it, now you at least recognize where your emotional boundaries are and that’s a good thing! How about contact, were you tempted to make a call, text or email? Temptation is the key word – how about it – did you overcome that pull or desire? Thanks M4R. I was not tempted to contact him at all, but I did find myself checking my phone a million times to see if he contacted me even though we hadn't had contact in more than a week. To think, I had gotten to a point where I don't expect his emails or call anymore. But now I'm back to square 1, and that is hard. I hate that I check my phone a million times. But the silver lining in all this is that I have not been tempted to contact him at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Thanks M4R. I was not tempted to contact him at all, but I did find myself checking my phone a million times to see if he contacted me even though we hadn't had contact in more than a week. I'm glad to hear you held tough. Just to be honest, I used to check my cell phone for months, even slept with it by my bed "just in case". Finally, after months I got the call, the story is here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t110077/ if you have a good cup of your favorite beverage to keep you busy during a long read. Hang in there, the NC does work. {{hugs}} Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Thanks M4R. I was not tempted to contact him at all, but I did find myself checking my phone a million times to see if he contacted me even though we hadn't had contact in more than a week. To think, I had gotten to a point where I don't expect his emails or call anymore. But now I'm back to square 1, and that is hard. I hate that I check my phone a million times. But the silver lining in all this is that I have not been tempted to contact him at all. I have no desire to contact her, but i still check my phone every 5 seconds and check msn, even though shes blocked and not on my list! wtf?! Im going crazy Rocket Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 P&P, I responded to your other comments in my original LS post. Thanks for taking an objective look at the situation. It's very much appreciated. Am4Real Link to post Share on other sites
Author Prim&proper Posted February 5, 2007 Author Share Posted February 5, 2007 M4R, glad to know that you are pass it now. You seem to be recovering well. Rocket, I wish that I can stop checking the phone too. I wasn't expecting any contact and then this weekend set me back and I'm back to watching the phone again. It sucks! Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Im not over my ex in even the slightest way My phone never goes of at all any more its so depressing. I saw someone in the street earlier out the corner of my eye and i thought it was her. My heart literally jumped out of my chest. I don't know what the feeling was. I think it was fear. Fear of having to talk to her, or even just see her. The sight of her would probably make me break down. Thinking about it rips my heart out. Its been 5 weeks and I've got a bit better, I'm managing to block her out a bit better, but contact just DESTROYS me I feel so helpless. EVERYTHING reminds me of her. Name any inanimate object and i can make it remind me of her somehow. Look-a-likes are even worse. I wish I could get over this girl Rocket Link to post Share on other sites
alasia Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Im not over my ex in even the slightest way My phone never goes of at all any more its so depressing. I saw someone in the street earlier out the corner of my eye and i thought it was her. My heart literally jumped out of my chest. I don't know what the feeling was. I think it was fear. Fear of having to talk to her, or even just see her. The sight of her would probably make me break down. Thinking about it rips my heart out. Its been 5 weeks and I've got a bit better, I'm managing to block her out a bit better, but contact just DESTROYS me I feel so helpless. EVERYTHING reminds me of her. Name any inanimate object and i can make it remind me of her somehow. Look-a-likes are even worse. I wish I could get over this girl Kind of like me...usually when I break up with someone I can just move on without giving my ex a second thought. I felt way more for this ex than I have for anyone else though, so it's so hard to stop thinking about him. Especially as he's being so cruel to me now. He works for Arriva (bus company), and I keep seeing Arriva buses or people wearing the uniform - everytime I do, I can't take my eyes off them and start thinking of Phil (my ex). I'm looking for work but afraid of looking for jobs in Stafford, Lichfield, in fact anywhere on his bus routes in case I see him and he thinks I'm stalking him (as he's accused me of that already) - I won't even be able to go into my home town on a Friday or saturday night in case he drives past in the bus! He comes into my town on those days, at 9.15 and 11.15 which are the times I'd usually be in the bus station going to/from a night out. I have to go into Stafford to meet a friend next Saturday and won't be able to catch the bus I usually would (10.15, gets home at 11.15) because he'll be driving it! I was thinking of doing it anyway and not talking to him; if he thinks I'm stalking him that's his problem, but I don't know whether to or not. Don't want to get the earlier bus though, and his one is the last bus home. The moral of the story: never date a bus driver! Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 M4R, glad to know that you are pass it now. You seem to be recovering well. Rocket, I wish that I can stop checking the phone too. I wasn't expecting any contact and then this weekend set me back and I'm back to watching the phone again. It sucks! Hey there P&P, Thanks for the encouragement. I am doing better and moving on but there’s always those underlying issues or thoughts that seem to simply take time and time it is for now… Don’t you hate how much of your “thinking power” these things seem to rob from you, thank goodness its so much less today than a month and a half ago when all of this started (again). Nonetheless as emotional humans I suppose its one of the things we have to go through and learn from. Funny thing, whether it’s you, RM2 or many others here on LS, we are all seem to go through the same rituals and routines as we get over each of our unique situations. Have a great Monday. Am4Real Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 I'm looking for work but afraid of looking for jobs in Stafford, Lichfield I was in Lichfield on Saturday! Not on the bus though The whole bus thing is difficult, but you shouldn't let him control you life by dictating where you can or cant go. You're not stalking him by getting on his bus! If he's got some problem with it let him try and get a restraining order then laugh him out of court lol. Stay Strong Rocket Link to post Share on other sites
alasia Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Ooh are you from near Lichfield then? *being nosey* I know I wouldn't be stalking him by catching his bus, but he'd expect me to get an earlier or later bus to avoid him - like he thinks I plan my whole day around him! He has serious ego issues I'm half-tempted to get the earlier bus next Saturday when I go into Stafford, just to avoid him - but then it'd mean cutting my night short by an hour - it's bad enough I'd have to catch the 10.15pm bus home because it's the last one (and he's driving), but 9.15 is a joke! I suppose if I just get on, pay, not talk to him (and make sure I'm looking AMAZING ) and keep my composure then I'll come off looking as good as I can in the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Ooh are you from near Lichfield then? *being nosey* Nottingham I suppose if I just get on, pay, not talk to him (and make sure I'm looking AMAZING ) and keep my composure then I'll come off looking as good as I can in the situation. Like i said, you shouldn't let him control you. If he knows you're avoiding him then that will still make him feel like he has control. I know the next time i see my ex its likely to be when im out at a bar or something and she will be looking amazing. Thats going to destroy me completely. Rocket Link to post Share on other sites
shockandawed Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Rocket, Not to hijack a thread, but how did your date go? Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Good thanks, But I can't see it going anywhere, Damn those beer goggles! She seems really nice tho so hopefully ill make a good friend Rocket Link to post Share on other sites
alasia Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 I know the next time i see my ex its likely to be when im out at a bar or something and she will be looking amazing. Thats going to destroy me completely. At least I won't have that problem...he lives in Rugeley and only goes out on Sundays and Monday - in the same manky leather jacket that's a size too big for him! The rest of the time he's in his Arriva uniform! Not exactly likely to make my knicker elastic snap at the first sight Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts