Ok I am officially so tired that I am willing to stop...

[alextop30]

Ok I know this may sound so hopeless but in my point of view it is - I have gone through 3 years of trying to get a girl to go on a date with me and I have not succeded with even one girl which leaves me with the feeling of worthlessnes I am emotionally tired when I get back from school and I just want to go to sleep. I dont know probably I am not woth the person to get a girl to listen to me so I think it is gonna be fine if I stop trying but how do I fight myself after that. How do I hate myself a little less when I do stop. I know many of you will say you are just 18 years old but you know what I cannot stand myself and I believe if I dont try anymore might be a little less painful - just like middle school because you know I hated highschool for the reason that no girl noticed me as a little more interesting than the other people so that is why I dislike college now too. If I do keep going as I am now I am gonna feel more alone than now - I dont have that many friends, most of my friends are the ones that I will say Hi whats up how is it going but not really go out. well I am really bad situation if anyone can make a suggestion would be great and plz dont tell me to read those books I have read almost all of them I do read for fun so I have read most prolife books - Dont bring youself down deal just dont work!!! I really hope you guys can help.

[Kamille]

Hi! I had a horrific high school experience - so i can relate. I certainly wasn't dating anybody. I was really introverted and had a tendency to internalize everything.

 

Anyways. I too have recently decided that I was going to stop looking... but for different reasons. I just wanted to take the pressure off the need to find somebody. And focus on the things that me me happy in the hope that, in a few months, I will meet somebody thanks to my hobbies.

 

You might have noticed that the question of why it's so hard for some of us to find someone to share our lives with comes up a lot, in many different forms, on this forum. So you're not alone.

 

Just try to avoid internalizing the idea that there is something wrong with you because you can't get a date. there is nothing wrong with you, in fact, i'm willing to bet a lot of 18 year old guys are experiencing the same difficulties you are - even if it may not seem like it to you.

 

And also, there is no link between landing a date with just any girl (we are human too and also mostly just looking for love) and your self worth. You decide what it is that you find worthwhile in your life and hopefully it will lead you to someone special.

[georgejungle]

There's a reason people (older people) say,

"You're only 18" because believe me it gets better.

You're at a prime age to really figure out what you

want to do, who you want to be, etc etc.

 

I KNOW what you're saying. I felt like giving up, felt

that life was over because i wasn't cool enough or

thought i wasn't good looking enough for chicks to

notice me, but i was basically putting wayyyyy to

much pressure on myself and beating myself up, FOR

NOTHING.

Things can and will get better, if you let

them. You gotta chill out a little and just relax.

Life Sucks at 18, i know, i had no friends

and was a loner. But I look back on things that i thought

were ruining my life when i was 17, 18 and I just laugh.

 

Don't worry so much about everything. throw yourself

into something creative. If you play an instrument, start

a band. If you draw, get into art.

 

You'll figure out the chick situation later on. It doesn't have

to be "right Now". You're only 18, you've got a whole

life ahead of you, take it slow. Relax.

[Road Rage]

alextop30

 

You are just focusing out of your league. If you are fair and give all girls a chance you would never have a problem. Simple as that.

[alextop30]

I personally dont believe that there is such thing as a league but I try to talk to girls that I like but are not the most popular in campus - I am actually way too shy to approach the most popular girls in college so I dont believe that I am out of my league

[alextop30]

I wish I was like my friends that I only see in schoool- they always seem as they are on top of things and dont have these problems and I am kinna the guy that is pissed off of somethings but I still talk in front of everybody and still make everyone laugh and this transion as georgejungle called it is killing me because I am in the middle of my mother and father's devorse and I have on numerous occasions stood in front of my father and told him I will not let you talk to mom that way - I also do not have a good realationship with my brother and my mom is kinna letting me deal and I have gotten to the point where I am so sick and I will move out. Well that was sad story what ever but the thing is I dont know if I can figure it out alone because I was not born in america and I do have an accent and my girls have said to me I like guys with an accent but I like you as a brother or they dont refferr to me at all. Damn I wish I can be normal person and not feel like I am 30. Well if you wanna elaborate on this I would want to know what you guys have to say. I mean really wanna get over this and have a nice realationship. I use to be really shy like not even talk at home to my parents when I awas 13. I use to think that everyone is looking at me and at what I have to say so I didnt say anything. Mainly because of my father's saying think before you say something stupid well I got to the point were I can talk in public talk to girls and even try to ask them out but as I told you in previous post I am hopeless. I have tryed to use the analogy in my head "when you are at the very bottom there is no where but up" it dont look that simple it seems worse actually. So if you got anything for me throw it.

[Green]

first of all your not at the very bottom you sound like your in a good place to be. You are obviously depressed and should focus more on doing things that are fun and will get you happy again like watching some funny movie playing some sports or games that will bring some fun into your life. Find a job part time or full time just dont screw up school, a job that is semi fun to work and you can make some cash. Try to get plenty of sleep like a consistant 8 hours every night and work out at a gym get into good shape. I know its hard to do things when your depressed but try to do some of those things or all and you'l be in a better place. As for the girls what you have to do is not be so seriouse about finding and meeting these girls to go out with treat it like a fun game and just talk to them flirt with them try to get their numbers and to get them to go out on dates with you and dont get to seriouse about any specific girl untill youve know her for a while. I mean if some stranger refuses to go out with you or some girl youve been on 3 dates with stops returning your calls that shouldnt be the end of the world you dont even really know them yet so be more care free and just have fun talking to new girls and you should have more sucess. dont make getting into a committed relationship with some hypothetical girl the meaning of happyness in your life and dont give up on life either just because your not where u want to be right now failure is the only way we get better remember that, and remember ur in an exciting and fun time in your life dont let things bring you down

[Road Rage]

alextop30

 

There are girls that would date you. You are just not interested in them because they are the unattractive ones. You are overlooking the beauty within.

 

It puts things in perspective. You are discouraged because a lack of dates but there are girls discouraged because you have overlooked them. Step outside of yourself and your problems and start looking at each and every girl around you with an open heart.

[alextop30]

the problem is I do keep myslef busy all the time - proffecional table tennis go to tournaments practice every day - go to the gym every day than study and than do wonder around the house, basically how a day is spent with me. The thing is something really big is missing and I dont really know what it is!!! pretty much I kinna feel the most hopeless when I sit down to watch tv in relaxation time after school it basically eats at me that I didnt do this said that and many other things. so yeah I really dont know

[Green]

your just deppressed you need to find a way to think happy thoughts, Dont let rejection hurt you so much if you are even being rejected? I say that because I doubt your asking out different girls you find are cute every week only to be rejected. Look stuff doesnt happen all at once so if you just start trying to see thing a little more posotive and understand you cant have it all things might start to feel a little more posotive for you.

[Island Girl]

The most important thing you can do right now is develope yourself.

 

You say you read for fun, that is fantastic, so use that and grow your brain. Intelligence is extremely sexy.

 

Develope your interests. There will come a time when you will need to talk about things - news and current events only go so far.

 

Develope your sense of self-worth. Your own opinion shines through to others. Confidence is a great attraction magnet.

 

All of us have been where you are. Everyone goes through a similar stage.

 

Be happy yours is happening now - the flip side is going through a similar thing at 40 plus (I know a man who can't maintain a relationship although great at getting dates and he is VERY sad indeed).

 

Your time now should be about you and not anyone else. Your views and those of the others around you will change tremendously between now and 25 or 26.

 

Girls need to mature too.

 

We learn to look at other attributes as we grow older.

 

Personality and intelligence become THE most important thing.

 

Make these your strengths and you will CLEAN UP I promise.

 

Just do not be in a rush -- please just relax and focus on yourself. I can not stress that enough.

[Blue Phoenix]

Sounds like you have alot of stuff going on in your life at the moment. If I were you i'de let some things settle a bit before even looking for a gf. Highschool is a pain in the @ss for most people unless you happen to be one of the popular ones but I guess even they have there bad days. Your not alone alot of other people were the same as you. I hated H.S I had aquatences not friends just like you people I said hi to on the way to class. Dident date any one heck dident have a date untill my early 20s so dont feel left out. I found that sports was my way out of the duldrum of highschool it gave me a outlet to meet new people. Give that a try or take a new diffrent class something your intrested in..

[alextop30]

I guess you guys are right-- The thing is it is kinna hard to be alone between so many people and that gets to me. I just hope I am gonna calm down as soon as I move out and feel at least a little better about myself when I live alone and took a really big step. I really hope you are right and that everyone passes through those stages and I would get to find girls that are interested and really get some dates because there are girls I find attractive and talk to but until I see their charecter I cannot really decide weather I would fit as the role of the boyfriend or not. I dont just look to score a date with a chick and that is it. I dont know I think that from guys persepctive is really bad and not fare to the girl so I dont ever try to do it.