ahsumgurl909 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 abused all my life. Abandoned, beat, verbally abused and mentally abused. To the point where if I am being abused I think its love. Is that pathetic or what? It truly is sad because I am the most loving caring person and I never get that in return. I mean some of my close friends cherish me and Im greatful for that. But when it comes to the most intimate relationships I am ruined I think. I can't understand how I would want this drama in my life constantly. I am the kind of person who will bend to another persons way to avoid conflict. Maybe thats why I feel like I wish I could just die. I am always living according to someone elses liking. I dont want to do this anymore. I feel like I am going to lose my mind. I have someone in my life right now whom is mentally and verbally abusing me on a daily bases. The things he says are the most cruelest ever. I mean how could someone say such horrible things to another human being. Its heartbreaking. How does someone like me unlearn something like this. How do I change something Ihave lived with for almost 43 years? I wish I could love myself but there is no self left anymore you know what im saying? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 Because of your past, your coping skills aren't where they should be (hense the situation you're in now.) and a good therapist WILL help you deal with your past, and work through the pain and you'll learn how to become self confident again, and never let ANYONE make you feel bad about you. You need to learn how to love yourself again. And the first step is what you have just done here, a baby step....you posted about it. BE proud of YOU that you shared this, and you know (yet are scared) it's time to make changes so you can be happy. Second step...Continue to post about what you feel, think and are scared of...And then soon, when you're ready, find a therapist to talk to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted February 3, 2007 Author Share Posted February 3, 2007 he came over and I wasnt exspecting him and he knocked onthedoor really hard thought it was my roommate with bags in her hand so I ran down to open it. He took all my money and then he started to leave and I stood in front of him and he shoved me so hard I almost flew through the door but my arm hit something very hard I cant move my pinky ring or middle finger. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 You should probably go and have someone look at that. I would also advise you not to even consider the thought of marrying him. He has issues so far in left field that if you married him, he would bring you down further and abuse you more both physically and emotional. And don't even try to justify what he did. It was wrong and he doesn't deserve to be with someone like you. I agree with what WWIW said too. Also, why did he come in and take your money? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 Also, why did he come in and take your money? He's a drug addict unfortunately. he came over and I wasnt exspecting him and he knocked onthedoor really hard thought it was my roommate with bags in her hand so I ran down to open it. He took all my money and then he started to leave and I stood in front of him and he shoved me so hard I almost flew through the door but my arm hit something very hard I cant move my pinky ring or middle finger. Never speak to him again. If he ever sets foot near your house, call 911! Don't think about it, just DO IT. 911...Its' for your own safety, please. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 He's a drug addict unfortunately. Never speak to him again. If he ever sets foot near your house, call 911! Don't think about it, just DO IT. 911...Its' for your own safety, please. Oh I didn't know. You have a chance to get out of this. Don't make the mistake of marrying him. More problems WILL arise. Especailly if you both ended up having children. Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 Call the cops and have him arrested, domestic violence is taken seriously in your country. The thing you have to realize is you have all the control over your life, he's only doing those things to you because YOU let him You probably need counselling that specializes in abuse as well... Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 The thing you have to realize is you have all the control over your life, he's only doing those things to you because YOU let him You probably need counselling that specializes in abuse as well... Yes that is true. If he knows you let him he will keep on doing it. Correction: Sorry I know you have children. But still.... Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 Yes that is true. If he knows you let him he will keep on doing it. Correction: Sorry I know you have children. But still.... ESPECIALLY since she has children, she needs to take them and get the hell away from that creep. Those children will grow up to be really messed up in that environment, and will probably resent you for keeping them there ashumgirl. They could even get suicidal and most likely very depressed. I speak from experience. And BTW, your life is not over at 43, you can still put all this sh*t behind you...but you need to get away from that toxic environment first! Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 ESPECIALLY since she has children, she needs to take them and get the hell away from that creep. Those children will grow up to be really messed up in that environment, and will probably resent you for keeping them there ashumgirl. They could even get suicidal and most likely very depressed. I speak from experience. And BTW, your life is not over at 43, you can still put all this sh*t behind you...but you need to get away from that toxic environment first! I thought she said they were adults. Either way this is a situation to get out of and fast. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted February 3, 2007 Author Share Posted February 3, 2007 My arm is fine. But it felt like it was broke. anyway I hate to say this but he is here sleeping. Wants me to take care of him guess he had ended up in the hospital because he couldnt breath. (Because I accused him of being with someone when he was at his house asleep) So im obligated?? anyway Im feeding him and walking him and hes getting some color back into his skin. I am sorry that I just dont have the heart to say no. I mean I love people and had it been anyone even a stranger I would prolly help them. I will get him well and then tell him it just isnt going to work out. I know he will never change. Only God can do that. He talks about God a lot but i donthtink he relaly knows him. Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 "Telling" him it's not going to work out won't solve anything, he'll just convince you to stay and marry him etc. because obviously no matter what he does to you he has you at the tip of his finger. He has hurt you for years in so many ways and here you are helping him, even accepting the blame for his 'condition' Sorry to say but quite simply you are brainwashed by him, as often happens with severe abuse. Link to post Share on other sites
VinaAmez Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Not sure what to say here. I do think you should break up with him and move on. He'll be fine without you and you'll be better off. You may like helping people and thats fine but not when it affects you in a negative way. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 I will get him well and then tell him it just isnt going to work out. In all seriousness I doubt that very much. He may be gone tomorrow but you'll have him back on Monday if not tomorrow night. That's been your pattern ever since you started posting about him. That's been one consistency. Another consistency is that a lot of people have cared enough to give you some very good advice, the vast prepondenance of it being to leave this creature in the dust. Yet another consistency has been the advice to go get some counseling about this horribly destructive relationship you keep yourself in. The final consistency is that you routinely ignore or dismiss all that advice in the name of "love." Someday do a Google definition search of the word, "love." I doubt very much that you're going to find mental, emotional, sexual or physical abuse anywhere in any of the definitions. I wish you well! Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 --"abused all my life. Abandoned, beat, verbally abused and mentally abused. To the point where if I am being abused I think its love. Is that pathetic or what?"-- Ok im sorry thats just a excuse you are makeing to make it seam you have no control over the situation. I've knowen abused people before who dont let there past history plage there entire future. I will how ever give you some credit for admiting theres a prob here. Thats a great start now go get some help talk to a counsler about everything your thinking feeling going tho. Now after that call hang up then call the police and have the scum sucking bottom feeder arested for asulting you!!! WAKE UP AND SNAP OUT OF THIS LA LA LAND HE HAS YOU IN!!--"I mean I love people and had it been anyone even a stranger I would prolly help them. I will get him well and then tell him it just isnt going to work out"-- Heres a idea stop loveing every one else and focous on your self. OH PLEASE yea like hes going to listen to you saying its not going to work out!! I guess its going to take him actualy breaking your arm to wake you up... Look sorry if I seam a bit harsh in my replys to you but it honestly bothers me to see this going on.. So please get your self some help before its too late.. Link to post Share on other sites
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