I Need Someone To Put Me In A Time Out!

[bellababygirl]

Well you are contributing indirectly to her hurt every time you sleep with her husband. I don't know how you can keep doing that. I know you try not to think about it but he has a wife that he lives with and probably loves. Stop burying your head in the sand about it. She's not going away.

 

And you know what? He's never going to give you more of his time than you're getting right now. If anything it's going to become less as time goes by. This type of guy likes a challenge and will always be scouting for the next conquest. He's already got you. No challenge there and now you're even asking more of his time. That's the kiss of death. He keeps goading you into admitting you want more because he gets off on that. And the minute you give him that he'll be out of there.

 

Better settle for twice a week because it's either that or nothing with this guy.

 

I have so much more to say about him but I'm disgusted. He's so low.

 

I seriously hope and expect for him to always love her. They have had decades and children together. Call me a hopeless romantic but I would hope that you can never lose entirely those feelings for someone you have spent so much of your life with.

 

I know his extra-marital contact would have to be hurtful, unless I guess she has known all these years and doesnt care...or has someone herself...who knows...

 

But, just as I know she will always be a part of her life...I wouldnt have been had I known he was a MM. Now that we have a son coming...I dont see anyway that him and I will ever be able to NEVER have some type of contact for our son's sake. Truthfully, neither him or I have made any effort to end the R. I dont think it is something either of us want. However, I was really surprised that he did not leave when I caught him in all his lies after I found out I was pregnant.

 

I was not very nice to him...at all! I was so furious he had lied to me and that I was pregnant and he allowed me to believe his name was something else...and that I had it tatooed on my body on top of that...(of which it is getting covered up next week)...but still...he has stayed...never made any type of gesture that he would leave or wanted to...

 

As far as still seeing him...I love him...and am physcially extremely attracted to him...in addition, being pregnant I could never sleep with anyone else pregnant with my MM child, YUCK! I just dont desire another man. Strangely enough a lot have been asking me out the more I am showing...how gross is that...why would a guy hit on a pregnant girl...sickos!

[bellababygirl]

You said something I told my MM very early on. I love him, not who he is to other people.

 

Myself, I do not like his circles. I like my privacy and I feel he and I live in different worlds.

 

I have felt I have know the man I am involved with my entire lifetime. He is older than me but I adore him.

 

Do I feel guilty about him and I? yes, so much months after we began this, for the first time ever in my life, I was so scared it was all coming out and he did damage control but for a day or two, I considered for seconds, ending my life because I could not stand the pressure.

 

Thank God, I did alot of praying.

 

I dont like his circles necessarily, but if he wished for me to accompany him or participate in some of his charities I would it and not feel out of place, class-wise.

 

I, too, feel like we have two lives. He has his "other life" as I call it and then he has his life with me. Except, he asks me about my life all the time (my two sons) my friends, what am I doing, how am I doing, am I being a good mommy, etc. I dont ask about his other life...if he volunteers informaiton I listen, but never dig.

 

Him and I fit together...its easy to love him because I feel as if I always have.

 

I am so gald you did not take your life...end to ones life comes sooner than it should to begin with. But, as everyone advises here, eventually it will come out. How it comes out I think is the only difference? My hope is that if and when it does come out that the people who are effected (his family and mine) are effected in the most respectful and least hurtful way as possible. Thats why I posted the thread about the BW calling the OW? I want to know, if and when that day comes, what is the best way to handle it for all involved...

 

Feel free to chat with me anytime...it is lonely when our MM are not around...whatever you do remember nothing is worth a life...not even that of our unborn son's!

[Touche]

I can't figure out your logic. You say you yelled and carried on when you found out he lied to you after you even got a tattoo and all. You said even after that he stayed! WHAAA???

 

Hello? YOU"RE the one who has been had here. You're the victim..but yet you talk about it as if HE is. You can't get over the fact that he still stayed after the tongue lashing you gave him. Sheesh!

 

Why I can't figure out is why YOU stayed. Why HE stayed is a no-brainer. He's using you for sex. Duh!

[blizzardblueeyes]

Thank you, Bella. I was more freaked because I even thought about doing it.

 

You are so right, I have my life with my family and friends and co-workers.

 

Then there is my life with him. Just him and I. Maybe I am never to be his bride but there was a reason we came together.

 

I am still trying to figure him out.

 

I only want the best for you and the baby. Best wishes.

[Touche]

I dont like his circles necessarily, but if he wished for me to accompany him or participate in some of his charities I would it and not feel out of place, class-wise.

 

I, too, feel like we have two lives. He has his "other life" as I call it and then he has his life with me. Except, he asks me about my life all the time (my two sons) my friends, what am I doing, how am I doing, am I being a good mommy, etc. I dont ask about his other life...if he volunteers informaiton I listen, but never dig.

 

Him and I fit together...its easy to love him because I feel as if I always have.

 

I am so gald you did not take your life...end to ones life comes sooner than it should to begin with. But, as everyone advises here, eventually it will come out. How it comes out I think is the only difference? My hope is that if and when it does come out that the people who are effected (his family and mine) are effected in the most respectful and least hurtful way as possible. Thats why I posted the thread about the BW calling the OW? I want to know, if and when that day comes, what is the best way to handle it for all involved...

 

Feel free to chat with me anytime...it is lonely when our MM are not around...whatever you do remember nothing is worth a life...not even that of our unborn son's!

 

 

No offense, Bella but I highly doubt too many (if any at all) of the women in his circle (if you have accurately described this man) sport tatoos.

 

Secondly, I wouldn't hold my breath until the day that he invites you to a charity ball...just a wild hunch on that one.

 

And one more thing: Concentrate on yourself and your kids. I doubt that you'll ever have to deal with a confrontation with the wife with this guy. He's too smart for that. It ain't never gonna happen.

[bellababygirl]

I can't figure out your logic. You say you yelled and carried on when you found out he lied to you after you even got a tattoo and all. You said even after that he stayed! WHAAA???

 

Hello? YOU"RE the one who has been had here. You're the victim..but yet you talk about it as if HE is. You can't get over the fact that he still stayed after the tongue lashing you gave him. Sheesh!

 

Why I can't figure out is why YOU stayed. Why HE stayed is a no-brainer. He's using you for sex. Duh!

 

 

Yeah, but he is hot...he could get sex anywhere from anyone, I am sure. I dont know, I guess once his fantasy he constructed was found out I guess I kind of expected him to run for cover. Especially that we were pregnant...I mean children was something we talked about but not for a couple of years...I wasnt ready to have a baby right now...I wanted to spend more time getting to know him and having time for him and me before we had a child...which sounds ridiculous now that I know he is married, but sounded great when I thought he was single!

[bellababygirl]

No offense, Bella but I highly doubt too many (if any at all) of the women in his circle (if you have accurately described this man) sport tatoos.

 

Secondly, I wouldn't hold my breath until the day that he invites you to a charity ball...just a wild hunch on that one.

 

And one more thing: Concentrate on yourself and your kids. I doubt that you'll ever have to deal with a confrontation with the wife with this guy. He's too smart for that. It ain't never gonna happen.

 

No one would know I have tatoos unless they are looking through my bathroom/bedroom window. Because of my the type of work I do I can not have tattoos, well, not any that can be seen at least.

 

Oh, not holding my breath on an invitation...personally relieved he hasnt asked...I dont want to spend time with a ton of people, just him...i value our private life together.

 

I hope it never comes to that...but, never say never. I can tell you confrontation will never be something I initiate. I just want to make sure i handle it correctly if that day were to ever come. I really dont want to hurt her, or anyone.

[bellababygirl]

Thank you, Bella. I was more freaked because I even thought about doing it.

 

You are so right, I have my life with my family and friends and co-workers.

 

Then there is my life with him. Just him and I. Maybe I am never to be his bride but there was a reason we came together.

 

I am still trying to figure him out.

 

I only want the best for you and the baby. Best wishes.

 

 

I still have my life with my children and friends as well. But, is it that same for you that the empty bed at night is the hardest for me? When he is there I dont even wear PJs, when he is gone I can always be found in one of his shirts...his pillow always has the scent of his colonge on it...it is lonely, terribly, at times...

[blizzardblueeyes]

Yes, I have a few of his shirts and wear them to bed every so often.

 

Weird how just the scent of his cologne makes you cry.

 

I have accepted he and I will probably never be a couple. Hurts but that is reality.

 

I get confused what he really wants from me.

[bellababygirl]

Yes, I have a few of his shirts and wear them to bed every so often.

 

Weird how just the scent of his cologne makes you cry.

 

I have accepted he and I will probably never be a couple. Hurts but that is reality.

 

I get confused what he really wants from me.

 

 

You are not the only one! He bought me a bottle of his colonge because he knows how I love the scent of him on me...

 

I dont know that I have accepted us as never being a couple because I have never really gotten as far as to think of us as a couple. We dated, but we still had our own lives...work...friends...etc...

 

What hurts is the lonely nights and when he says to me I "desire" to be with you, but I cant. He seems hurt when he says that...almost like he doesnt know what to do...

 

He makes me swoon...just with the sound of his voice...

[blizzardblueeyes]

Night Bella and baby. I hope everything works out for all involved.

[YoMomma]

Yes, I have a few of his shirts and wear them to bed every so often.

 

Weird how just the scent of his cologne makes you cry.

 

I have accepted he and I will probably never be a couple. Hurts but that is reality.

 

I get confused what he really wants from me.

 

Don't be confused, just accept that he wants you for sex, yes it hurts but it is reality. If you are crying now, believe me its only going to get harder when its over. Please... get out before it really hurts!

[bellababygirl]

Don't be confused, just accept that he wants you for sex, yes it hurts but it is reality. If you are crying now, believe me its only going to get harder when its over. Please... get out before it really hurts!

 

When I was so hurt about him lying he offered to not pursue sex any longer if it was too hurtful emotionally for me being pregnant and finding out the truth about him. He said he didnt want to do anything to hurt me ever. I think now it is more than just sex between us. If it were just sex he could get it anywhere...I am sure he with his experience in sex he has had women much more expereinced than me! Sometimes I feel like he is continually teaching me more...

 

I dont think I could say no to him right now...I tried not to talk to him, but as soon as my phone rang today I was only to quick to answer it. It is so hard to stay away when everything in my body mind and heart craves him...wants him...and enjoys him...

[bellababygirl]

Night Bella and baby. I hope everything works out for all involved.

 

Good night...I have bad insomnia so I am sure I will be up for a while...have a good weekend...

[blizzardblueeyes]

Don't be confused, just accept that he wants you for sex, yes it hurts but it is reality. If you are crying now, believe me its only going to get harder when its over. Please... get out before it really hurts!

 

I do believe him when he says it isn't just about lust/sex. He told me if that is all he wanted, he would have had sex with anyone.

 

He is so much to me. when I went something very tragic, he stepped up and was there for me. Some of my own friends couldn't handle what I was going through.

 

I cry because he and I should be together. Life is too short.

[bellababygirl]

I do believe him when he says it isn't just about lust/sex. He told me if that is all he wanted, he would have had sex with anyone.

 

He is so much to me. when I went something very tragic, he stepped up and was there for me. Some of my own friends couldn't handle what I was going through.

 

I cry because he and I should be together. Life is too short.

 

The problem is that we do cry...and no matter what until the conclusion (whether it be a life together or apart) we will be on the tear-drop roller coaster...

 

we are imprisoned, regardless if it is by our own choice or not, or time with our MM is obiviously worth the time of our lonely nights because we are still here...waiting...and waiting...and waiting...

[2sunny]

you only fill the void that his wife leaves him with.

 

he does not intend for you to be a permanent part of his life.... however - NOW you are because you are pregnant...

 

his dirty little secret...

 

don't expect to be invited to ANY functions - ever... you will be hidden as much as possible.

 

he will keep you under cover as long as he can - so he can have wonderful sex with you and make you feel "important"... and you are buying into the deal just fine... as you say .... YUCK!

 

he knows you are young and naive, it makes the whole scenario work perfectly for his situation.... I am so sorry for your youth.

[Touche]

I'm not sorry for her youth. I am sorry for her ignorance. In Bellas's world ignorance is bliss. I don't want to know about the wife and my wonderful man's real life. I don't want to know about all of his ow's because they're not like me anyway. They wanted more than just his time from him. I only want his presence and nothing else (right.) They only wanted his money.

 

So it's not Bella's youth that is holding her back in her life...it's her simple ignorance and denial of the facts.

 

You have a long and rocky road ahead of you Bella. I wish you luck and wisdom in lifting the blinders off sooner rather than later.

[Seen_It_All]

Thank you, you know if he was a jerk to me...abusive...etc. I probably wouldnt have a problem walking away. But, he isnt. Like I have said before...if he were not married...everything about him would be perfect.

 

I'm seriously doubting that your posts are real.

 

How can ANYONE whose been lie to, manipulated, and CONNED from the very beginning SAY what you said above? There's NOTHING perfect about this lying predator. NOTHING! The old lech persued you on a dating site, LYING about his age, LYING about his availability, and LYING about his own damned NAME! Funny how such a rich man will reduce himself to using plebian dating websites to chase women half his age.

 

You claim this crud is a BILLIONAIRE, yet you tell us he wasn't able to call you from abroad????? Why, someone with this amount of money could have probably bought the phone system over there and called you every minute - if he'd wanted to.

 

The others are right - he didn't go abroad alone. Your worth to him is fast dimishing as you get bigger and less attractive to him. If this whole story is even true, then I think you can look forward to becoming nothing more than an incubator to him in your last months of pregnancy.

 

I guess Mr. Billionaire was too busy globe-trotting with one of his other concubines to go to your amnio procedure with you.

 

I'm still having a hard time believing this story because NO ONE is this gullible - are they???

[2sunny]

if you ONLY wanted TIME with this hotty man - you would NEVER ask him to support you and the baby!

 

you need to be honest with YOURSELF!

 

i am not buying into your INNOCENT little charade.

 

you are wanting more than his presence and time and you know it. He knows he is stuck now because you are pregnant - but I cannot figure out why a man his age - with that kind of money - wouldn't have ever had a vasectomy if he was constantly fooling around on his wife.

 

the story is getting harder for me to believe it is real....

[YoMomma]

if you ONLY wanted TIME with this hotty man - you would NEVER ask him to support you and the baby!

 

you need to be honest with YOURSELF!

 

i am not buying into your INNOCENT little charade.

 

you are wanting more than his presence and time and you know it. He knows he is stuck now because you are pregnant - but I cannot figure out why a man his age - with that kind of money - wouldn't have ever had a vasectomy if he was constantly fooling around on his wife.

 

the story is getting harder for me to believe it is real....

 

Only time will tell, after all once she has the baby (when are you due?) she won't have time to post here. She'll be busy going from diapering the baby to diapering the ole' Daddy. Oh... dumb me I forgot he's got a lot of money & he's going to give her millions in child support so she can get a nanny to do it all! Yikes... better watch out for the Nanny - she might be his next OW???? But don't worry because he's probably got trunk load of 'blue pills' to keep him going, and going, and going!

:bunny: :bunny: :bunny:

[pricillia]

Only time will tell, after all once she has the baby (when are you due?) she won't have time to post here. She'll be busy going from diapering the baby to diapering the ole' Daddy. Oh... dumb me I forgot he's got a lot of money & he's going to give her millions in child support so she can get a nanny to do it all! Yikes... better watch out for the Nanny - she might be his next OW???? But don't worry because he's probably got trunk load of 'blue pills' to keep him going, and going, and going!

:bunny: :bunny: :bunny:

 

 

Well it all comes down to the money in everyone's eyes I suppose, There are some not all who seem to be more interested in the money situation then Bella, how is the above reply usefull what so ever?

 

He is and older man, I don't agree with all of the things he seems to be doing, but if some posters are so interested in all of his funds maybe they should apply for the Nanny postion.

 

Bella stop and think at this point, you are in love with him but right now just try to put things into perspective.

 

Don't reply to the useless replies that are backhanded... it is worthless

[GreenEyedLady]

Bella stop and think at this point, you are in love with him but right now just try to put things into perspective. Don't reply to the useless replies that are backhanded... it is worthless

 

I agree with this...take what you need from those who advise...you don't have to reply to everyone...right now you need to focus on the baby growing inside you, first and foremost...make the best decisions you can under the circumstances...and try not to let everyone stress you out...If you need to take a break, do it...

[YoMomma]

Bella stop and think at this point, you are in love with him but right now just try to put things into perspective.

/quote]

 

Your right, she is in love with him & should put things into perspective!

She is a single mother who is pregnant by an rich, well known, married man with a family! That about sums it all up...

[pricillia]

Bella stop and think at this point, you are in love with him but right now just try to put things into perspective.

/quote]

 

Your right, she is in love with him & should put things into perspective!

She is a single mother who is pregnant by an rich, well known, married man with a family! That about sums it all up...

 

 

So stop giving backhanded advice and if you are truly interested in seeing her get through this with some support and help, then the useless advice will stop.