Why am I angry and upset most of the time?

[vanButterfly]

My poor boyfriend always cops me getting angry at him. He's at a point now where he feels that he can't do anything right. It's now impacting the time he wants to spend with me. Who can blame him??? He doesnt do anything wrong anymore!

I dont know what to do..I dont know how to stop being so angry and taking it out on him.

 

The past sums up to:

 

- Been together nearly 2 years (I'm 29, he is 31). Most of the relationship we fought about his binge drinking, him putting his friends first, porn, not including me in events with his friends, keeping secretive, smoking marijuana , lying about going out and getting drunk, keeping in touch with exes, and who know what else. We broke up so many times. Then I go and make things worse. After all this, I go and get attention from other males because I feel that this relationship is all hopeless.

 

We are at a point where he doesnt do any of that anymore. It took _A LOT_ of effort and I am completely exhausted.

He is really good now..but I am still so upset about the past.

 

I dont know when I wont be upset and I dont understand why i am still hurt if he doesnt do anything wrong anymore. I feel like I am starting to trust him..but I am scared sometimes that he is hiding something from me at the same time.

 

He has a group of friends (of about 10) of males and females and they have all either slept together or had intimacy...my boyfriend claims that only he has not. How can he be the only one???

My insticts say otherwise but he says my insticts are wrong and gets extremely angry when I doubt him about this. I am not comfortable with his friends and how they behave.

 

I am struggling to get over everything that has happened the last 2 years...

 

I dont know if there is any hope. He really is putting in so much effort and has not done anything wrong ever since we had counciling a month ago...

 

Any thoughts?

[Blue Phoenix]

Well you have to decide if you can get over it in the long run and then even tho it dose hurt you have to forgive and move on. Unless you can do that then there is no point in continuing to waist eachothers time. Sounds like hes finaly comming around so ide realy think about it if I was you. Also stay in the counseling dont just let it be a one off thing. It sounds like it took years for your relashionship to deteriorate into the state it is now its not going to snap into sunshine and roses over night...