In love with my best friend

[avg_joe]

Four years ago, in high school, I realized that I was in love with my best friend. We were really close; we told each other everything. She's never been interested in me. One day I finally told her how I felt. It definitely hurt our friendship a little but we got through it.

 

I never got over her though. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about being with her. I have gone through many low points in my life - depression and whatnot - over this issue. I've tried ignoring her, which probably only confused her and hurt her more.

 

A year and a half ago we both headed our separate ways and went to different universities. We still talked online a lot. I was able to better control my feelings for her; it didn't bother me much anymore. I also told her that I no longer had feelings for her.

 

But recently I'm finding that I'm losing control over my feelings. I've become depressed about the issue once again. I've thought about telling her again how I feel. I am sure that she still doesn't have feelings for me, so I don't see why I should bother. Worst of all, I think the distance is hurting us. We don't talk as much anymore. We're definitely not as close. We're still best friends, but I'm afraid I'm going to lose that special connection that we share. Overall, I feel that I'm lost in this situation. I don't know any way out. And I can't stop feeling the way I do about her.