A question For Woman

[Topper]

Have you ever used your sexuality in the work place to make a sale or get your way with co worker or even a Boss. I am not talking about sleeping with someone or doing any real sexual favors. But flirting and or acting in a very overly friendly manor. Maybe even dressing in a way that you know will get you some added attention. Pants that you Know show off your Butt or a top that is bussiness but maybe not so bussiness. Have you witnessed woman who do in your office. Does it make you mad?

I am getting back into a business that services real Estate Agents i have been away from that Industry for some time. Most offices have a lot more woman then men working I would say about half are headed by woman brokers. I have noticed a lot of the woman when it comes to male clients are shameless flirts. In talking to one woman in her 50s she sees the younger woman dressing sexy when they call on the office of some small construction company. They flirt with builders to get their listings. They will meet with them after work in bars for happy hour. Shelly my friend is really getting upset she is married her husband is a builder and she sees this going on all the time. Shelly claims this has really gotten much worse in the last couple of years. the market she works in is very competitive and still somewhat hot, but slowing. i ma getting back into the offices and yes i do see what she is talking about. by the way they don't flirt with me I'm offering a service to them and won't get them a commission check. Maybe Shelly has clouded my view?

I am hoping that we can have a honest and frank talk here.

[Reverie]

It boils down to this: Sex sells. It always has & always will. It's no wonder the sex/porn industry is one of the top 4 money making industries in the world. Sex is power, and its effectiveness has been proven in many venues. As humans we are drawn to sexuality & the connotations & implications surrounding it. The controversy you allude to is strictly generational, showing how different age gaps view sexuality these days. Basically younger women are growing up learning that it is effective to "use what your mother gave you." You can't ignore the facts; Sex is the one thing that almost everybody in the world shares an interested in. That is a pretty impressive target market! So what is wrong with someone harmlessly using that fact to their advantage?

[norajane]

The most sexually overt woman I've ever worked with - a pretty blonde in her late 30's who dressed provactively, flirted and definitely used her sex appeal to make friends and influence people - is a former college cheerleader from a southern state. And, she is a lesbian, a happily partnered lesbian with two kids and who sure as hell wasn't interested in those men. But you'd never know it from her smiles and lingering glances.

 

*shrug*

 

Some women do use their sex appeal because it works and they know it's a short-cut to reaching their goal. Sometimes I find it amusing to watch, and other times I want to throw up. But, I blame the men who can't see through it, as much as I blame the women who take advantage of them.

[lindya]

I haven't consciously used my sexuality, but I've certainly used certain aspects of my femininity in the work place - and I think for many people that amounts to the same thing. I don't see anything wrong with doing it though. If a man plays up his masculine aspects to try to bulldoze me in negotiations, I'll tend to respond in an "I'm not playing the game your way" manner that generally involves being the very opposite of masculine. A lot of guys expect women to attempt to out-man them in business as if being female is some kind of embarrassment or hindrance in the negotiating process. I believe it's better to stick to the role you know and are good at. If you're a woman, that means talking and acting like a woman (albeit a rational one).

[Zankon]

I have no respect for women like that. I encountered many of those during my career and I usually shut them down. Business is business and you can take your flirting to the toilet. $$ speaks louder to me than sex and there is nothing sexier than a shiny green $ in my bank account I can spend with my wife!

[bluetuesday]

i am a monstrous flirt. i'm not overtly sexual, quite the opposite, but i do try to make people feel good about themselves and that's what flirting is - relaxing the other person, being confident around them, saying something nice and helping them see that they really do want to help you after all.

 

there is always something nice you can say to someone. or a joke you think they'll like. or a film you saw that made you think of them because you thought they'd like it too. or finding out how their team did and mentioning it. or noticing a great tie they've picked out. or any number of things that other people might be embarrassed to say but which i am not. if you are genuine, and i always try to be, you can compliment people without it seeming odd.

 

here is an example. lindya, i never told you this but the shack is a much better place for having you on it. sometimes i think about leaving but it's the rare posters like you who make me stay because you bring sanity and reason and humour and it's always a delight to read your posts. i know whatever the subject, your take on it will teach me something and that's worth sticking around for. thank you!

 

see? it's a compliment and it's also true.

 

i am this way with everyone, people i work with, people i'm friends with, my bosses, the office cleaner. although it HAS got me some pretty juicy exclusives over the years, i consider that just a bonus. you'd be amazed what police chiefs, priests and politicians admit to when you make them forget why you called.

[lindya]

if you are genuine, and i always try to be, you can compliment people without it seeming odd.

 

here is an example. lindya, i never told you this but the shack is a much better place for having you on it. sometimes i think about leaving but it's the rare posters like you who make me stay because you bring sanity and reason and humour and it's always a delight to read your posts. i know whatever the subject, your take on it will teach me something and that's worth sticking around for. thank you!

 

see? it's a compliment and it's also true.

 

 

in response...

 

BT - you have brightened what's left of my day with those kind comments. Likewise, I often feel there's not really anything left to keep me posting here...but whenever I'm about to stop, some ray of light and wisdom of a poster will break through and make me stay. Now whether that's a good or a bad thing is debatable!