Ally Boo Posted October 31, 2002 Share Posted October 31, 2002 It's REALLY impossible to be friends with someone you love. It will either drive you crazy...or drive them crazy. I've tried...I know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rob32 Posted November 11, 2002 Author Share Posted November 11, 2002 Well, just thought I'd give you guys an update and thank you for helping me through all of this. I haven't posted here for about 2 1/2 weeks cause I've just been sitting back and riding things out. During these 2 weeks Mary and I have been able to remain great friends. I've gone over to her house a few times and she's came over to mine. We've been able to talk to each other about everything still. We talk about the dates that we've been on and how bad they were *haha*. Mostly about how we just ended up comparing them to each other (I'd compare my dates to Mary) and just find their shortcomings and get frustrated. I was at Mary's house last Sunday and we got into a pretty serious talk about relationships....what makes them work and what makes them fail and what we've both learned from this experience. We kissed (it was very spontaneous, but we both wanted to do it) and began fooling around. We ended up having sex and had another serious talk afterwards. She told me that she had sex with somebody else (she told me this before we had sex). I decided I could get over it because it's her right to see what else is out there. I've had sex with somebody else other than her (before I met her) so she should get the chance to. During this talk we discussed what is stopping us from getting back together. She wants me to get out of debt first, so I explained to her that's going to take time and there's no way we'll be able to stay away from each other for that long. So we decided that if we got back together and if we got engaged then we'd wait until I had most of the debts payed off before setting a wedding date. We also decided that I needed to get some work done on my website first so I could spend more time with her, to which I agreed. One concern of mine I brought up to her was sex from here on out. I explained to her that I could get over the fact that she tried it with somebody else, but that it wouldn't be as easy for me if she did it again--mostly because of the fact that we were both leaning heavily towards getting back together and eventually getting married. Well, the next night I called her and we talked about the sex thing again. I told her that I probably wouldn't be able to get over it if she did it again. She got quite mad and broken up and we talked for about 30 minutes about it...both explaining our points. She didn't have a problem with what I told her, but she felt like I was trying to control her. We ended up not getting it sorted out that night, but agreed to go out that Saturday (Nov 9th) for our 3 year anniversary. I also told her that I wouldn't be able to talk to her that week since I was attending a VERY large convention related to my company I'm starting. She agreed. She called me the next day while I was at the convention. I explained to her again that I really needed to focus on what I was doing and that I couldn't talk to her. She sounded bummed but agreed. It was kind of weird...the tables were turned from the previous weeks. Now she wanted to hang out with me but I couldn't hang out with her. I think this got her thinking. Anyways, fast forward to Saturday. She came over looking incredible! I had some friends in from out of town that were just meeting her for the first time. They were all very impressed with her and told me how luck I was to have her (and that if I did lose her they'd beat my ass). Anyways, throughout the night we were literally crazy about each other. It was very romantic and we had a blast together! After the night was over, when she was leaving, we decided to meet up the next day to talk (I wanted to tell her about the convention, etc). We met up last night at around 8 o'clock and talked for a bit, then she asked if I wanted to go get coffee with her. So we went to Starbucks and talked for a while. We talked about how each other's jobs were going, etc etc. Next we went to a local bar and had a few drinks and we talked about relationships again and why we weren't together. She told me that she has removed any doubts she had in her mind about spending the rest of her life with me and I did the same. She also told me that she hasn't had sex with anybody since our last talk. One thing that made us get along so well is we could always be 100% honest with each other about having to worry about the other getting pissed off. I would much rather have her be honest to me and it's easier to deal with something when you're honest right off the bat. We decided that we are giving it another shot and that we're both ready to give 110%. After that we went back to her place and made love (yes, made love) and it was just so amazing the feelings we were having towards each other. The feeling of complete commitment and knowing for sure that the other person is there for you. We ended up cuddling for most of the night and just laying together in each other's arms. Haha..this sounds so corny. It was honestly great though. Anyways, just thought I'd update you guys and thanks you for all your help. I don't know if I would've realized the mistakes I'd made if it wasn't for your help. As for Mary and I....I plan on proposing to her next month and we'll live a long happy life together . Link to post Share on other sites
butterflyz Posted November 12, 2002 Share Posted November 12, 2002 i am very happy that things worked out. i don't think that you were being unreasonable not wanting her to have sex with anyone else. that's what trust is about. i'm glad you guys are honest, that's how i like to be. but, it seems that i can't seem to find it in return. best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Andee73 Posted November 12, 2002 Share Posted November 12, 2002 Congratulations! I always love happy endings!! You handled things very well! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rob32 Posted November 27, 2002 Author Share Posted November 27, 2002 This will probably be my last update to this thread. I proposed to Mary last Saturday, to which she said yes (before I could even get all the words out ). We've set a date of August 16th, 2003 for the wedding and are now planning out all the details. The hard part now is getting used to calling her my fiancé instead of my g/f. I want to thank all of you for the help you've given me on this issue! Link to post Share on other sites
Andee73 Posted November 27, 2002 Share Posted November 27, 2002 Congratulations!!!! Best of luck with all and much happiness! Link to post Share on other sites
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