Is my boyfriend preferring his "girlie" magazines over me?

[Guest]

I recently found out that my boyfriend likes to jack off using car magazines full of girlie pictures (models in bikinis and sexy outfits). I asked around for some advice on how to feel about this, and most told me not to worry about it unless it was "extensively so". But now I'm curious as to how much that would be, exactly.

 

I have a suspicion that he probably does this on an average of around three to four times a week. We only have sex once a week on average. A lot of times I'll ask for it, and be turned down. He has a lot on his mind right now (he just quit his job, is having trouble finding another one and is having a lot of money issues) and I can understand him being too tired or unable to focus on sex, but if he's jacking off with these magazines while I'm not around then that makes no sense to me.

 

Should I feel as though he's using up his "resources" on these magazines, instead of with me? Or is this normal behavior for a twenty-one year old guy with a steady girlfriend? We've also been dating for five months this Friday. Some advice from someone in my shoes, or from a guy's perspective, would be great. Thanks!

[Karma24]

21? Yes, totally normal.

 

Come (heh) to think of it, it's pretty normal at any man's age.

[Carbine]

You asked for advice on how to feel? Please tell me you're kidding...

 

Do you ask other people how you should feel regarding everything else in life?

 

Any halfway legitimate masturbation site on the net will give you a more than sufficient run down of how and why men masturbate. But it won't tell you how you should feel. Well, it shouldn't anyway.

 

Girlie mags, porn, strippers...its the same sort of deal. Despite what other people may tell you, there's no right or wrong way to feel. It's a highly personal issue for a lot of people, especially women. Highly personal AND complex IMHO

 

So out of curiousity, what were your initial feelings when you found out? I mean, really?

[Guest]

Sorry, I guess I worded that wrong, lol. I didn't ask around looking for advice on how to feel about the matter initially, but more so as to how I should handle it. I had no idea how to go about doing so. When I first found out, I was stunned, and felt really betrayed. I became paranoid and assumed he was always thinking about these magazine, picture-perfect models whenever he kissed me or did anything else sexual with me.

 

I was jealous and moody, etc. But I never brought it up to him, mostly because I didn't want to add another thing to deal with to his already-extensive list (like his money issues, etc). Over time, I eventually got over it, especially after most people told me "not to worry about it, it's just a guy thing".

 

So now, I feel as though I don't mind, as long as it's not getting to the point of him preferring jacking off over these pictures rather than doing things with me. I felt so stupid when I found out about this habit of his, because we've never had sex often - once a week on average for pretty much the entire time we've been together - and I always just assumed it was because he had a lower sex drive than other men. He's even told me multiple times before that he never jacks off. I was kind of naive, I guess.

 

I feel like the fact that he almost never wants sex is partly due to me - I was a virgin when I met him, and I'm still extremely unexperienced when it comes to being in bed. Most of the time, he's on top missionary-style, and that's it.

[Kathleen2260]

Yes for a 21 year old this is normal. If it makes you uncomfortable talk to him about it. He is probably choosing masturbation over sex because its a stress reliever and it is easier than having sex with you. If it totally interferes with your sex life then it might be a problem. But until then just realize its normal.