Stives Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Okay so I've known this guy for 6 years, and I have always had feelings for him but lately I have had much much stronger feelings for him. He has a girlfiend and complains to me about how they fight all time time and she doesn't understand him, we talk about personal stuff and we trust one another. I'm sure this girl is a nice girl and I feel bad but lately this guy and I have been chilling out together with my friends and family and we've we get along so well, we actually made out. Well actually we almost went all the way but either I had to stop it or he stopped it. I know he has a grilfirend, he knows I just broke up with my b/f 2 months ago and this is really low for me to be doing these things with him but I feel safe with him and always have. So this is it, he tells me he's unhappy, but he only talks to me when he's drunk about his relationship he claims he doesn't have the nuts to tell me when he's sober (i know, how can I listen to a drunk) when he touches me I believe he doesn't have bad intentions because he's proved that by stopping when he knows he could have had me. This past weekend one of our mutual friends had a b-day party and he asked our mutual friend not to invite me because he doesn't think it's a good idea to have me there because his was bringing his girlfirend but now I feel like I'm the other woman and I hate that. i feel as though even though we've been friends for 6 years all of this means nothing to him and he's just treating me like he would any other girl. Please help!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Madeamistake Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Dont!!! All you wil bring is a lot of pain to the three of you. He is very confused/angry with his girl right now so he may not know what he wants or the potential damage of his actions. If he wanted to be with you, he would break up with his gf first. If you steal him from her, someone else will steal him from you. Basically, its not worth it. Server all ties with him for the sake of your well being as well as his an his girlfriend's. Find a guy who is not committed. If you really care about him, advice him to try and work things out with his girl otherwise just break up with her. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Beyond all of that, right now you are first and foremost his "alternative" plan. If he is going about things this way and stringing you on, please just back off. If for no other reason than for your own pride. Always maintain your pride. If he wants to break up with her and be with you, he knows where to find you, simply put. I know you won't, but please take a stand. I hate seeing people swallow their pride all the time. Have a backbone about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stives Posted February 5, 2007 Author Share Posted February 5, 2007 Thanks, I needed an objective person's point of view. We have alot of mutual friends and he is close with my cousins but i will make sure to make myself scarce. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 Well he obviously likes you. The thing is why is he staying with a GF he is unhapy with? Because he loves her. It's possible that he loves/likes her more than you. You just don't know where you stand with him. He is apparently pretty faithful, given that he doesn't want to cheat on her completely. This is partial cheating though. But he doesn't sound like such a bad person to me. The only problem is now how to make him break up with her and start a relationship with you. I think there is not much you can do. You'll have to wait until he breaks up with her. Just stay sweet to him so that he realizes that you are the one. Make up your mind about how much you're willing to wait. After that deadline, don't expect anything. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
suchislife Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 Move on. Just say next! Link to post Share on other sites
polywog Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 I don't think he sounds like a good catch. If he left her and was with you, wouldn't you wonder whether he was doing the same thing with another woman after the honeymoon period is over and you two have any problems? Maybe he seems "Loyal" to her for staying with her and not going deeper into a physical realtionship with you, but he's really not being fair to her or you. He should be telling his problems to a close guy friend or better, a therpist. Link to post Share on other sites
Spoonandfork22 Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 "He is apparently pretty faithful, given that he doesn't want to cheat on her completely." HE IS NOT FAITHFUL, hes already cheated!! this guy is bad news. do you really want to be the girl on the side right now and then worry what girl hes going to have on the side when YOU are wtih him? this is too much of a red flag. if he had any balls at all he wouldve ended it with his current gf and saved her the pain and then maybe started dating you as a SINGLE person. this isnt someone i would become involved with. i once dated a guy a very long time ao who was cheating on his gf with ME before they broke up...surprise! he did the same thing to me. dont waste your time. Link to post Share on other sites
hopelesslyinlove07 Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 back off!!!! i'm in a similar situation expect i'm the girlfriend. does she know that you guys are friends???? if not than that is totally wrong. my boyfriend has been lying to me about being friends with his ex. i'm not sure if he is your ex, but i still think that its wrong i think you should just back off and let what will be, be. if you guys are meant to be together you will be, but dont come between him and his girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
LN99 Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 Yeah, its best to back off this guy...even if he is flirting w/ you and making the moves. He still has a gf. If he really wanted something with you, he would have broken up with her already. Imagine how you would feel if he was your bf and was doing stuff like this behind your back? This is honestly one of my biggest pet peeves when guys who have gf's do stuff like this. Its just wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 Well Stives, let's assume here you get what you want and he'll dump his gf and be with you (best case scenario, not too likely). How will you like it when he 'makes out' with another girl then? Obviously if he did this to her he'll do it again Link to post Share on other sites
Limerent Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 How to steal someones boyfriend? Rather simply. Just call her and tell her you have been screwing around with her boyfriend. If she doesnt believe you, or needs proof, ask her to show up at xyz and just watch and wait. If you dont want to be implicated in this, tell her you are a mutual friend of the both of you, and if she wanted to see for herself, she could show up and watch for herself. I know some will argue that maybe she already knows....but maybe she doesnt. Perhaps she herself wants out just as much as you want in, and is looking for an excuse to get rid of him. If you play your cards right, you could have him before you know it. Link to post Share on other sites
kbah Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 The title of this post makes me sick. Get a clue... Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 You are the reason women hate their boyfriends female friends. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 Okay so I've known this guy for 6 years, and I have always had feelings for him but lately I have had much much stronger feelings for him. He has a girlfiend and complains to me about how they fight all time time and she doesn't understand him, we talk about personal stuff and we trust one another. I'm sure this girl is a nice girl and I feel bad but lately this guy and I have been chilling out together with my friends and family and we've we get along so well, we actually made out.... It sounds as though you've attained, or are close to attaining, the level of competency required to break up someone else's relationship. You've acted as a supportive sounding board when he wants to bitch about his girlfriend, and you've subsequently made out with him. Now it's probably just a waiting game for you. As his girlfriend begins to become more suspicious about his friendship with you, their relationship will deteriorate further...and no doubt you'll continue to be on hand to this guy as a supportive friend. Does he have other female friends? Let's imagine that he breaks up with the girlfriend and goes out with you...then, when problems occur in your relationship, begins to discuss those problems with another female friend who's glad to offer support and sympathy and eventually sleeps with him. How would you view that female friend? Would she be the kind of person you'd want to be? If not, then you probably need to think very carefully about trying to sweetly and gently kill this guy's relationship - which is exactly what you're doing by permitting or encouraging him to bitch about it to you. Link to post Share on other sites
glitzy55 Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 The guy has a girlfriend. Have some respect and step away. Ever hear of karma. Would you like if some friend was doing this your boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 If you can "steal him" off her, think how easily he will be "stolen" from someone as insecure, and strange as you. Link to post Share on other sites
paris38 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 in that if he was really that totally into you, and really wanted you, he wouldn't hesitate to break it off with his girlfriend. There are still some feelings there he has for his girlfriend and he does not apparently want to let her go, because nothing stops a man from doing what he wants. If he wanted to break up with her to date you, he would. you are a good friend to him, and probably making out with you is a novel thing to do, as possibly the 'rush' of passion is no longer there in his current relationship. However it sounds like there is not enough attraction to you on his part for him to break off with his girlfriend, he apparently is more emotionally attached to her. I would totally do NC with this guy, avoiding contact with him at all costs. Cut him out of your life. Maybe in time he will realize that he does want to break it off with his girlfriend and explore a relationship with you. plus this guy is a jerk for treating his girlfriend like this anyway, that would rule him out for me, personally. Link to post Share on other sites
Individual3 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 He's not interested in you. If he was, he wouldn't still be with his girlfriend. He's just using you for something, any ego boost perhaps. Don't get your hopes up either because most of the time guys don't leave their gf's for their woman on the side. Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Why do I have the feelings this thread was made by a troll? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 You definitely found out how he feels about his girlfriend when he asked your friend not to invite you to their party. He didn't want his girlfriend to pick up on anything between the two of you and he is probably guilt ridden. You see what I'm saying he was more concerned for his girlfriends feelings than for yours. He doesn't sound like a guy who wants to break up with his girlfriend so therefore he is using you as the OW. You are giving him emotional support, kisses and just knowing he could "have you" when he wants to is boosting his ego. Don't do that to yourself. Move on from this guy and go completely NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 --"How to steal someones boyfriend?"-- Lmao I had to look I dident belive it!! How sick of a title do you even understand how that makes you look?? Im all for trying to help people with bad situations they find them selves in but dang. I just have to draw the line at giveing some one advice on how to steal some ones bf. I truly hope karma comes back around and bites you so hard in the @SS it leaves a mark that can be seen a thousend miles away!!! Matter of fact go for it you 2 sound like you are made for each other let the slugs gf find a decent guy... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 No one can be taken away and stolen unless they want to be. He should be decent enough to tell his g/f he is unhappy or at least break it off with her first and leave her with some respect and dignity. Its usually the ones complaining they aren't getting enough out of relationship who aren't giving enough TO it. Show this girl the same honesty, dignity and respect you would expect for yourself. As the saying goes "If they'll cheat WITH you, they'll cheat ON you." Link to post Share on other sites
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