Learned My Lesson

[BklynGuy]

Messed with a girl on my job. She's had a boyfriend for the past 2 1/2 years. He treats her like crap, cheats, beats on her, etc. She kept flirting with me. I always left her alone because I knew she was involved. I finally saw him one day and said what the hell....may as well go for it. I'm better looking, a better person, wouldn't treat her like he does. We went out a few times and slept together on 2nd date. She seems like a really nice, young girl that's with an insecure boyfriend who has destroyed her mentally to keep her with him. She could do 10 times better than him. When I was hanging with her I kept thinking to myself, she likes me, she loves him. I'm already at a loss. Third date he becomes suspicious and calls me. I'm like great, the whole vibe is dead. Too much drama too soon. She begins to blow me off and goes back with him. Now she's leaving the job and has already moved in with him. He beats on her. She came to work with a busted lip recently. 2 days after I saw her but she could be cheating with other guys also. I'm taking all this rather personally because she told him we slept together etc. I just can't understand....If I was in an abusive relationship like that I'd jump even if I had to be alone to get out. Seems like she just uses guys to know there are people that will treat her better but at the end of the day she's not leaving him. Go figure. Love is a very strong emotion. I have a like/hate relationship with her now. I told her at first if you just wanna mess around it's cool but she was talking relationship with me, etc. Then as soon as he comes back I get dropped.

 

I hung with her a few times since we stopped seeing eachother but I can't help but feel he'll seriously harm her one day. She's very subservient and I can see how easily he can control her. She just can't seem to leave him. Last time I was with her I felt kinda dumb because she was with friends and I can't really show affection because they all know she's really with him. She avoids me a lot now at his request and is leaving, surely because he said so. This has also taken a toll on my self-esteem as I avoided her for a year and finally gave in. Now we're just a little more than friends. Mutual attraction but nothing is gonna come of it. I hate her! Girls like her make guys like me go bad! I'm gonna leave my job eventually anyway but damn this hurts. Guess it's never good to get involved with those who are involved even if you are a better person than their current mate.

[BklynGuy]

Oh yeah, my ex friend also warned me she wanted to get back at him for playing her so many times. Third date she allegedly sent him 2 pictures of me and a picture of her bed. He feels insecure when he sees me as I'm better looking. Grimey bi***

[Krytellan]

Logic has nothing to do with this. Being in an abusive relationship has it's own unusual psychology and it is in itself, its own lifestyle. You won't save her, fix her, or rescue her. You may however help her get beat up a little more if she decides to make more passive aggressive attempts at getting back at him.

[Davis]

BklynGuy: run away and fast!! Yes, you should have known better than to get involved with someone that was involved. Didn't that tell you something about her character? Remember: "if they do it to them, they will do it to you". So even if she was your gf, and some point she would get bored or something. Then she would not break up with you, she would go out and do the same thing she did to him. Is that what you would want?

 

She's trouble. She has some serious issues or she would not be with him. Even though you say you're better looking, etc, that's just your ego. It has nothing to do with you, just her own dysfunction. You cannot save her. You cannot keep her from doing this to herself. Let her go and cut all contact. You may be the reason he really beats her up next time or he may come after you or she will say you're a stalker and send you to jail. You never know what you're getting into with these type of people.

 

She is doing you a big favor!! Be grateful and move on!!

[Madeamistake]

Logic has nothing to do with this. Being in an abusive relationship has it's own unusual psychology and it is in itself, its own lifestyle. You won't save her, fix her, or rescue her. You may however help her get beat up a little more if she decides to make more passive aggressive attempts at getting back at him.

 

True.

 

Abuse is abuse and abuse hurts but some people cant get away from it. You threw yourself in a pond of crap and need to get yourself out!

 

Good luck!