Author CATENZA Posted March 25, 2007 Author Share Posted March 25, 2007 How does she even know this was at a strip club? For all we know, there could have been another woman involved. To have enough perfume to actually soak into his clothes like that, she must have been on top of him for a while. I thought there was supposed to be a "No Touch" policy? I guess the lady stripper can touch him anywhere on his body with her ass and cleavage though, huh? What does she do? Spray perfume all over her ass and breasts? I guess it helps covering up the stench. My husband told me he went to the SC and had a few lap dances so I am choosing to believe that. He was wearing a fleece pull over on top of a t-shirt. the fleece is what smelled not the shirt underneath and crotch of his pants. Only the outside part not the inside and his briefs didn't smell either! Yes, I'M sick, I smelled all his clothes but I needed to know it was a SC and not an actual affair! I know that the guys getting the dances aren't allowed to touch the girls, his hands need to be behind him. I also smelled his sleeves near his hands. I figured if he did touch her or more than a lap dance the smell would be everywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 After my baby is born I am going to make time for myself!! I DESERVE IT! Not cause of what my husband did, but just because. The revenge is not cause of the lap dances. It wasn;t one it was a few acording to him. Nom when the baby is born you will be very busy nursing and taking care of your baby (unless you hire a nanny). I can't imagine having a baby and then wanting time to myself. I can't believe you are still going on about this lap dance thing. It does seem you are more concerned about the lap dance and strippers than his lying to you. You need to talk to your husband about this or get over it already!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CATENZA Posted March 25, 2007 Author Share Posted March 25, 2007 Nom when the baby is born you will be very busy nursing and taking care of your baby (unless you hire a nanny). I can't imagine having a baby and then wanting time to myself. Everyone deserves time for themselves!!! Doesn't matter who you are!! Link to post Share on other sites
americat Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Nom when the baby is born you will be very busy nursing and taking care of your baby (unless you hire a nanny). I can't imagine having a baby and then wanting time to myself. quote] Everyone deserves time for themselves!!! Doesn't matter who you are!! It's getting close to two months. If you wait 6 months or a year to talk about a lap dance, it probably won't be taken seriously. It sounds to me like you are now chaining your husband down. If he starts feeling stir crazy again, which I'm sure is building up, he might do something worse next. It seems a lot of this infidelity occurs when the wife is pregnant. Lack of sex and knowing there is a change of life coming ahead where he is pinned to one woman and child(or more) forever. I don't know. Must be a very scary time for men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CATENZA Posted March 25, 2007 Author Share Posted March 25, 2007 It's getting close to two months. If you wait 6 months or a year to talk about a lap dance, it will probably won't be taken seriously. It sounds to me like you are now chaining your husband down. If he starts feeling stir crazy again, which I'm sure is building up, he might do something worse lately. It seems a lot of this infidelity occurs when the wife is pregnant. Lack of sex and knowing there is a change of life coming ahead where he is pinned to one woman and child(or more) forever. I don't know. Must be a very scary time for men. There is really nothing I want to know about the lapdance, when my husband apologised about it I told him it wasn't the lapdance that I was pissed about! He knows it was more than that and he knows he hurt me, HE KNOWS IT WAS SERIOUS!!. I am not chaining him down, he is doing it to himself to prove himself to me which I really haven't asked him to do. As for infidelity while I'm pregnant?? It can go both ways!! The same way a man is pinned to ONE women so is a women! So my husband went to a strip joint to go get something he wasn't from home, what makes you think he was giving me the love and affection I needed!! Women have needs too and if there husband don't give it to them what do you think they will do?? Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 You say the stripping part doesn't bother you but I think it does because you can't let it go. You still are talking about it, still have this clothes from that night, analzyed the heck out of it, and what happend it still vived in your mind. I think it bugs you that he looked at someone else instead of you. The same way a man is pinned to ONE women so is a women! So my husband went to a strip joint to go get something he wasn't from home, what makes you think he was giving me the love and affection I needed!! And this right here gives it away. You both need MC and him going to the strip club is only a start. It could get worse and if you keep this up and you both stop communication, chances of him leaving or starting an affair will increase. It's only a matter of time. Trust us on this, ignoring and cutting off communication isn't the way to do it. It destroys relationships and there are those on here who can vouch for it. Luckly for me mine didn't get destroyed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CATENZA Posted March 25, 2007 Author Share Posted March 25, 2007 You say the stripping part doesn't bother you but I think it does because you can't let it go. You still are talking about it, still have this clothes from that night, analzyed the heck out of it, and what happend it still vived in your mind. I think it bugs you that he looked at someone else instead of you. I DID LET IT GO, I'M JUST RESPONDED TO PEOPLES POST. MY HUSBAND WATCHES PORN IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME AND I'M OK WITH HIM GOING TO THE SC AS LONG AS I AM AWARE OF IT LIKE I HAVE MENTIONED 100 TIMES WHICH I GUESS THAT PART U SKIPPED TO READ. ARE YOU NOT READING IT CORRECTLY? NEITHER MY HUSBAND OR I COME FROM ANYWHERE NEAR BROKEN HOMES. SO THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN! MY HUSBAND IS AWARE HE WAS WRONG FOR LYING TO ME AND HE SHOWS IT! ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS! WHO SAID WE STOPPED COMMUNICATING? WE ARE TALKING. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 I DID LET IT GO, I'M JUST RESPONDED TO PEOPLES POST. MY HUSBAND WATCHES PORN IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME AND I'M OK WITH HIM GOING TO THE SC AS LONG AS I AM AWARE OF IT LIKE I HAVE MENTIONED 100 TIMES WHICH I GUESS THAT PART U SKIPPED TO READ. ARE YOU NOT READING IT CORRECTLY? NEITHER MY HUSBAND OR I COME FROM ANYWHERE NEAR BROKEN HOMES. SO THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN! MY HUSBAND IS AWARE HE WAS WRONG FOR LYING TO ME AND HE SHOWS IT! ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS! WHO SAID WE STOPPED COMMUNICATING? WE ARE TALKING. No need to shout at me. If your okay with it then why did you analyze his clothes and try to figure out where this women was on him? Talking doesn't mean your communcating. Have you sat down and discussed this with him? I don't recall you saying that you both have. Also you don't have to come from a broken home for him to cheat or leave you. Never say it can never happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CATENZA Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 If your okay with it then why did you analyze his clothes and try to figure out where this women was on him? It doesn't take much to figure out how a lapdance is given and where the women is. If you go back and read the several times this exact question was asked you will read that I WAS PRAYING I FOUND EVIDENCE OF HIM ATTENDING A STRIP CLUB AND NOT EVIDENCE OF AN AFFAIR! It was 3am when he walked in and i asked him where he was and he said at the local bar all stinking like perfume. I thought in my head why would he LIE to me about going to a SC as he ha been there before. At that moment I thought affair! Thats when I waited for the opportunity to smell his crotch of his pants and was some what relieved. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 Nom when the baby is born you will be very busy nursing and taking care of your baby (unless you hire a nanny). I can't imagine having a baby and then wanting time to myself. quote] Everyone deserves time for themselves!!! Doesn't matter who you are!! Yes everyone does deserve time to themselves, but every good mother puts their babies needs ahead of their own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CATENZA Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 Yes everyone does deserve time to themselves, but every good mother puts their babies needs ahead of their own. Of course my children's needs come first.. Who said I wouldn't? Even if the time deserved for me is at 1am in the morning while the kids are sleeping, I'll take it! Link to post Share on other sites
Sevenmack Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 There's no use reasoning with Catenza, Americat and IpAncA. At this point in the game, she has some real personal issues, much of which she won't admit. It's time to ignore her and let her continue ruining her marriage. God save her children. And husband. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 There's no use reasoning with Catenza, Americat and IpAncA. At this point in the game, she has some real personal issues, much of which she won't admit. It's time to ignore her and let her continue ruining her marriage. God save her children. And husband. At least I can say I tried. Link to post Share on other sites
Sevenmack Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 ^I've tried too. At a certain point, however, people have to be allowed to drown in the river of their own pathos and pity. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 ^I've tried too. At a certain point, however, people have to be allowed to drown in the river of their own pathos and pity. I've found that sometimes people need to see it themselves in order to believe it could happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CATENZA Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 You know, sitting here reading some peoples post had me doubting myself and what I was really feeling, if it was the lying or the lapdance but I just remembered something... When I was 5,6 months pregnant with my first daughter (which was about 3 and 1/2 years ago we were newlyweds) my husband had a weekend away with the boys and he told me he was going to a strip joint. After his weekend we discussed it, he told me he had a few lapdances and he even told me that some of the guys with him told their wifes that they went to a regular club at the night time, which they did, so they would think that they didn't go to the strip club and my husband told me that they go in the afternoon. I thought that was funny. Anyway point is, I was ok with it.. it didn't bother me! My husband was honest! So believe me when I say its the lying that pissed me off not the lapdance! Link to post Share on other sites
Lezbean Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 I think we get it. You are more pissed about him not being honest with you than you are about some brazen hussy stripper leaving snail marks on your Hubby's lap. Am I right? Link to post Share on other sites
VinaAmez Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 So believe me when I say its the lying that pissed me off not the lapdance! I'm sure he's lied to you before. We all do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CATENZA Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 I think we get it. You are more pissed about him not being honest with you than you are about some brazen hussy stripper leaving snail marks on your Hubby's lap. Am I right? Yes, I'm glad you got it. Some people on here think they are professional advice givers when they hardly know how to read! I feel like all I do is repeat my posts. I'm sure he's lied to you before. We all do. Oh of course he has lied, I was just as pissed. Maybe a little more now given the fact that my pregnancy hormones are off the chart! Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Yes, I'm glad you got it. Some people on here think they are professional advice givers when they hardly know how to read! I feel like all I do is repeat my posts. And perhaps if you actually tried applying some of the advice you've been given, you might not even have the need to post here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CATENZA Posted March 27, 2007 Author Share Posted March 27, 2007 And perhaps if you actually tried applying some of the advice you've been given, you might not even have the need to post here. And whose to say that I haven't?? I don't NEED to post here. I like to post here and hear what other people with similar experiences have to say. If you haven't experienced what I have, who are you to give advice?? Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 And whose to say that I haven't?? Then enlighten us. What have you done? I don't NEED to post here. I like to post here and hear what other people with similar experiences have to say. So you're not interested in advice then? Just validation? If you haven't experienced what I have, who are you to give advice?? This is a rationalization to avoid taking advice you are being given. Honestly, it sounds like you really aren't interested in solving the situation at all, just staying mad and having other validate your feelings. However, not everyone is going to do that for you. FWIW, I grew up in a disfunctional household with parents who would fight and then not talk to each other for ages. Very much like what you and your husband are doing. Suffice to say, it wasn't exactly an ideal living environment and I'm sure I had more than a few issues growing up like that. That's why the two of you need to get off the pot and start resolving this. If your husband can't do it, then you have to. Someone has to start communication. Otherwise, this is just going to be a repetitive cycle as long as the two of you are married. And it ain't going to do your children any good. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 Getting a lapdance is cheating Link to post Share on other sites
Author CATENZA Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 Hi!! Just an update.. Things are slowly getting back to normal. Had a beautiful baby girl about 3 weeks ago. Had sex with my hubby for the first time in a while about a week ago and everyday since and it has been amazing. I guess all the tension that had built up needed to be released. We aren't 100% but almost there. Also, i've been drinking alot... it makes me happy and it makes it easier to be with my hubby. Last week he surprised with a piece of jewelry, he told me it was a gift for having the baby. Yet I feel it was a pity gift,. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Also, i've been drinking alot... it makes me happy and it makes it easier to be with my hubby. That's NOT a good thing to do IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
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