For those of you who got back together with your ex, what's your reason of breakup

[Cherbear]

I just want to see if people can try again, what's the reason for the breakup in the first place. For example, my ex bf broke up with me b/c i was high maintenance and he couldnt take it any more. I wonder if this is a fixable breakup, you know, by time apart. He also has a lot going on in his life right now, like very controlling parents who call him every day(multiple times sometimes), academica probation in the last semester of college, finding a job, etc. So i wonder if he'll come back after he graduates in May.

[Johnny B]

In my case... I broke up with her, only to want her back once she moved on to someone else.

 

Egotistical? Yes, but at least I know now that there were things about myself that could be improved upon and would LOVE to fix them in time to meet the next girl.

 

Who knows maybe if the stars are lined up in the right way.. she'll get to see how I was able to improve myself.

[Cherbear]

In my case... I broke up with her, only to want her back once she moved on to someone else.

 

Egotistical? Yes, but at least I know now that there were things about myself that could be improved upon and would LOVE to fix them in time to meet the next girl.

 

Who knows maybe if the stars are lined up in the right way.. she'll get to see how I was able to improve myself.

 

But did u break up in the first place anyways? did she have something that particularly bothered you?

[Canuck2006]

My ex broke up with me because I was severly depressed and it was causing anger and rage. It strained the relationship and us to the limit.

That is a shame because it has nothing to do with "us". I was very ill at the time.

[quankanne]

divided loyalty. We were pretty much living together, and when his ex-thing needed a place to hide out from her abusive partner, he told me she was coming to stay with him.

 

of couse, they got involved again, told people they were getting married, and about 3 weeks later she went back to florida.

 

we only started talking again because I later approached him for help, and we took up from where we left off. A couple of years later, we ended up married. That was 15 years ago ...

 

my ex bf broke up with me b/c i was high maintenance and he couldnt take it any more. I wonder if this is a fixable breakup, you know, by time apart. He also has a lot going on in his life right now, like very controlling parents who call him every day(multiple times sometimes), academica probation in the last semester of college, finding a job, etc. So i wonder if he'll come back after he graduates in May.

 

sounds like there's potential to reunite, but the thing is, YOU have to mature to the point where you are not a high-maintanence partner. Because when he's reached the point of stress, you'd be the most expendable (not trying to be ugly here) because the commitment he has to you isn't as strong as it is to his family, to his education, to his work.

[Cherbear]

divided loyalty. We were pretty much living together, and when his ex-thing needed a place to hide out from her abusive partner, he told me she was coming to stay with him.

 

of couse, they got involved again, told people they were getting married, and about 3 weeks later she went back to florida.

 

we only started talking again because I later approached him for help, and we took up from where we left off. A couple of years later, we ended up married. That was 15 years ago ...

 

my ex bf broke up with me b/c i was high maintenance and he couldnt take it any more. I wonder if this is a fixable breakup, you know, by time apart. He also has a lot going on in his life right now, like very controlling parents who call him every day(multiple times sometimes), academica probation in the last semester of college, finding a job, etc. So i wonder if he'll come back after he graduates in May.

 

sounds like there's potential to reunite, but the thing is, YOU have to mature to the point where you are not a high-maintanence partner. Because when he's reached the point of stress, you'd be the most expendable (not trying to be ugly here) because the commitment he has to you isn't as strong as it is to his family, to his education, to his work.

 

I think what you said is very reasonable. What should i do then? my strategy is no contact with him until he graduates while working on myself at the same time. But whether graduation from college will bring him back I'm sure. What do you think?

 

PS:b/c right now he's having a totally fulfilling life. He lives in a fraternity and they have all kinds of activities. So he's not lonely at all after he broke up with me. But i'm sure he's not gonna date others, not any time soon. He's kinda geeky, not smooth with girls at all. We are each other's first love.

 

Recently i talked to one of his brothers Craig who graduated last may. Craig is working in NYC right now. But he says he's very lonely(his company is very small and co-workers dont hang out after work) and doesnt know many people in nyc and having a hard time to meet new girls. So this makes me think maybe after graduation my ex will be back since Craig is a lot more outgoing than my ex. And yet he's having such a hard time after graduation.

 

what do u think?