Am I a fool?

[Austanne]

Hi. I'm Anne. I'm 23 years old, an Artsit, and I'm from Texas. I've been reading these forums for a while now, and am only now getting the courage to post. I'm having a problem, and I'm just not sure how to handle it. I know I'm being foolish..

 

I started dating "Jake" when I was 17. He and I just clicked, and I can say that he has been the best friend and lover that I've ever had. The chemistry between us has always been extremely intense. We could talk about anything, and we can express ourselves so freely that it is a breath of fresh air when I talk to him. We never fought, never had any kind of disagreements.The only problem that I ever faced with him was that he didn't want to commit, but I fell hard for him. We dated for exactly 2 years and 2 weeks before I broke it off. It was making me crazy that after all that time he couldn't make a commitment to make time for me in his life, and I moved on. I never fell out of love with him, and kept in contact with him throughout the next 5 years. He has always been understanding, supportive, and he knows me better than anyone I've ever met.

 

Well, during that 5 years, I've been in a relationship with "Derek". It started out as a rebound type thing, and I did love him, but after fight after fight, and lie after lie, I grew tired of being with him. Bringing a child into the picture didn't help, either. So, my son is 13 Months old and the center of my universe. "Derek" has moved out, and I don't want him back. I'm happy alone.

 

I talked to "Jake" yesterday, and told him that I had broken things off with "Derek". I still have very strong feelings for "Jake".

 

As soon as I told him, he was looking up airfare to come visit me. He is making plans and saving up for the flight. We talked for a long time, and he said that he still thinks about me. He said that he feels like my son should have been his.

 

My lifestyle doesn't fit in with his. He just graduated, he's a musician, and lives 1500 miles away. I know that I'm being silly and foolish. I just miss him. I have never felt like this for anyone, and the feelings are the same after 4 years apart. I get butterflies when I hear his voice. I feel like I'm setting myself up to get hurt again, but I just still love him.

 

So, I know that nothing serious will ever come of this. I just will regret not persuing him, because this is the closest one to The One that I've ever been with.

 

I guess I just want some perspective. What do you think?

[loveratud]

I think that you shouldn't let anything come between you and him if you feel that he's the one. If you love him, you should try to do what you can to make it work. Otherwise you'll just regret it. Every subsequent relationship will be spent thinking of what might have been. I'd say that's especially true since after 4 years, you still have the same feelings.

 

I say chase it. But I'm a hopeless romantic sort.

[chrissymcal]

you are so lucky...this is something that so many people dream of happening...i always believed there is somebody for everybody...maybe he truley is your somebody...and you have to realize that so many years have passed, he is ready for a commitment now!

 

the fact that hes ready to pack up and come see you is a giant commitment in itself! what kind of man would do that if he didnt have stong feelings for you?

 

sounds totally romantic to me and i would just enjoy it and realized that hes matured and just go with it if i were you!

 

id kill for a second chance with my ex!

[Austanne]

Aww!! Thanks!! I'm just so.. Fluttery.. When I think about him.

 

I don't know if he is really willing to move, though. I am afraid that he just wants to have fun, like old times.

[chrissymcal]

gaddamn woman! just go and have some fun! you only go around once! and trust, love knows no boundaries! the mans' head over heels for you, and hes ready to commit to you ! who knows! he could be your SOUL MATE! your childs FATHER! give the dude a chance!

[Austanne]

Okay! Thanks!!