spiritualpsb Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 i want to try and give the short version of my 2 1/2 year relationship with my b/f, and why i felt the need to follow up on my gut instincts. our relationship has been rocky but we managed to work through thing's. my b/f has said on numerous occasions that i "don't know how to be a good girlfriend." he has said that i'm not supportive enough of him. on numerous occasions i have tried to talk to him about our relationship, to get everything out in the open, but sometimes he just didn't want to talk. when he did listen he would constantly say "you this, you that, you don't do this or that." last night we had a long talk and aired everything out. i told him i admit that i have made mistakes in the relationship, and i have tried very much to be a better girlfriend, and be there for him in every way he wants but sometimes it's just not good enough for him. i clean the house, do his laundry, make his dinner, help with his kids, cook their meals and do their laundry. i told him also that sometimes when i talk to him about how his day went or anything in general he just gives me a one word answer, or doesn't want to go into any detail. many times he has come to me and spoke of problems he may be having and i listen to him and try to help, but afterwards he will say "i think i will call so and so, maybe they can give me a better answer or help me better." i told him i knew about what he was doing, the emails and the personals ad. he claimed he put up the ad after we broke up some months ago (which we obviously got back together, but like a week later), and thought it would expire on it's own. he was more concerned about how i found out than what he did. i asked why he gave his new cell number out, which he just got 2 weeks ago, to the woman who he has been emailing (the one he asked for pic's of her breasts), and he shouted to me "I NEED SOMEONE." i felt so hurt when he said that, mostly because i can tell he was hurting and i feel guilty for causing that hurt. then he told me "you know what it is honestly? i want what you gave your ex." when i was with my ex i catered to him, whenever he called i was there, whatever he wanted i gave to him, despite being treated like dirt. i know i was very dumb, and naive at that time and probably still now. so in a nutshell my b/f wants the same kind of treatment i gave my ex. it's not like i treat my current b/f like crap, or disrespect him, he just thinks i could be a better girlfriend and more supportive and try harder. my b/f says that he has never cheated on me with this girl he is emailing or anyone else, but because i'm not a "better g/f" he said it would be justified if he did. i do love my b/f despite our problems, and maybe i could try harder and be "better." i don't know, maybe i'm so blind that i can't see the forest through the trees :cry: . we have been through alot together, but he says i pushed him towards that girl and the ad because i haven't been a good enough g/f. i told him he should have come to me and just told me that it wasn't working for him, that he didn't want to try anymore, or that he felt i would never be better for him and just end it; rather than go behind my back and do what he did. the reason i looked while he had his computer on was because i had a gut instinct he was hiding something. whenever his phone rang he would look at it and put it on silent, then listen to the message if there was one left. he was calling his ex, and she calling him (he told me though she was the one calling all the time, but i found out he was calling her too). he would come home from work and immediately get in the shower than hurry to do his laundry. maybe i was being paranoid, but i saw that behavior odd. sorry this was so long, i thought it would be short. everything i told is the truth. i don't know if what he told me last night was the truth or not, i don't know what to believe anymore. it's so hard sometimes to just walk away from the one you love with all your heart, even though you know it could be for the best. sometimes one could be so blinded by love they don't want to see the faults in their partner. Link to post Share on other sites
paris38 Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 I really hope you're not believing what this guy is saying. It sounds like he wants to keep you around because you feed his kids, etc., yet wants to go out on you. I hope you move on. Get counseling for yourself. It has really helped me cope with getting over my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmasMuse Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 He is feeding you line of BS. I hope you don't continue to buy into it. Lots should speak volumes in your conversation with him. It reeks of justifcation on his part. I say, move on. Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 Your boyfriend is a manipulative ass, hes saying to you "Cater to my every whim weather you like it or not or I'm going to screw these hookers online!". Please dont listen to anything he says to you. Have the two of you tried couples therapy? Link to post Share on other sites
Thunder973 Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 Darling. Let me start out by saying that you need to sever all ties with this individual. You did nothing wrong. He is the one with the issues not you. What he did was selfish, manipulative and not conducive to relationship. He is playing the field at your expense and waiting for something better to come along. I know it hurts to hear this but I am a very blunt person when it comes to matters of the heart. You will gather the strength to get over him. You can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
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