yes Posted October 28, 2002 Share Posted October 28, 2002 i posted about breaking up with a guy several days ago. well, today he tells me he's got a ****ing wife. i knew he had a baby & that the baby's mother'd come to his place and stuff, but he always said it's just cuz of the baby, he doesn't want her to live with him, etc. I've spoken to the lady on the phone, naively thinking she's at his place just b/c of the baby. i don't know what kind of r/s they have and if he really doesn't want her living w/ him & if she really lives separately but how the hell could he lie about it? i remmeber i asked "are you married?" when i found out he has a baby and he said "do u have to be married to have kids?"... & I never asked again. what a bastard. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 28, 2002 Share Posted October 28, 2002 If you broke up with him several days ago, why are you even talking to him now? In the future, you will be better served if you keep things real simple and involve yourself with males who have as little baggage in their past as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted October 28, 2002 Author Share Posted October 28, 2002 i didnt break up with him... i was only planning to. and then i thought maybe give it another week or two, and break up if it doesnt get any better. and then here i go. men w/ no baggage are mostly young... which brings troubles, thouhg a difft kind ... i just can't believe someobyd can lie for several months ... in any case, moving on is the thing to do. will do. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted October 28, 2002 Share Posted October 28, 2002 I can definitely relate to your story, especially to the last paragraph. 5 years ago, I met a seemingly nice guy at the local pub (lived in a very small and close-knit town, where everyone knew practically everyone). He'd been there for some company party. He was funny and smart and we really hit it off. Shortly after starting to talk there at the table, the issue of children came up, he'd mentioned in passing about his son. Call it jumping to conclusions but I immediately thought he must have been married, so I asked him if he was. He responded by laughing hysterically and saying something to the effect of "A guy has to be married if he's got kids?" He seemed to be implying he wasn't, but to be more sure, I came out and asked it again, "So you're not married?" He said he wasn't. He was doing contract work in our small town (commercial construction). It was a long job, he was originally from a town 3 hours away from there. Him and 2 other of his coworkers had their own apartment in town. There were only pictures of his children. No evidence whatsoever of him being married. Being naive, too, it made sense to me that none of his friends ever acted weird about us starting to see each other. We didn't spend a lot of time at his apartment as it was pretty sparsely furnished. Mostly at mine, our doing things in town, or him working a lot. On one occasion we were at his place. I happened to notice that the phone was unplugged from the jack in the wall. Hmm. That struck me as odd/suspicious. I asked him about it. He casually said he unplugged the phone when he was not at work, so that he wouldn't be bothered by his work buddies. Didn't sit well with me for he was a very social person. While he wasn't looking, I plugged it back in. Sure enough, not long after, the phone rings....he answers it, and it became very clear by the conversation that the person he was talking to was his serious girlfriend or better yet, wife. I heard enough to know that he'd been lying to me. I got my purse and coat and got the hell out, crying all the way home. As it turned out, it was his wife....of 10 years. I felt horrible for her, and I felt sick that I'd been with someone's husband. He tried to justify it by saying his wife was crazy, neurotic, with some mental health issues, and that he stayed only for his children and because she came from a very powerful family who'd be pissed at him if he divorced her. Didn't buy any of it. Even though for you, it's done and over, I can personally understand why you're still freaked about this. It's hard when we come to find we've been lied to, especially such a big lie like this. Thank your stars you found out sooner than later. Whether your guy was married or separated, it doesn't matter. Sounds far too weird. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted October 29, 2002 Author Share Posted October 29, 2002 hey just a girl 2, thanks for sharing your story. i guess you just never know,- all you can do is stay on guard and take it slow. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted October 31, 2002 Share Posted October 31, 2002 Was that the dancing instructor? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted November 1, 2002 Author Share Posted November 1, 2002 yeah, that'd be him. it's all good, i've moved on... a guy i had been eyeing since mid-summer asked for my number, so ill see how it goes with this one =) -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted November 1, 2002 Share Posted November 1, 2002 Now that explains everything. ARENT YOU GLAD YOU DIDNT GIVE HIM YOUR FRIENDS NUMBER AGAIN!!! Ugh I swear... Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted November 1, 2002 Author Share Posted November 1, 2002 eh, **** happens, i suppose. i had to be pretty rude to him on the phone to get him to stop calling. *sigh* -yes Link to post Share on other sites
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