a noisy and rude roommate

[upset!]

Well, I guess I have kind of found my way to come to terms with this problem actually. But I think hearing what you think about this issue would help a lot too.

 

I have two roommates now. One of them is great, but I have a problem with the other one. (FYI, I am a graduate student so, as long as I have my eyes open, I have to read and read and read, which means that I am really desperate for a quiet environment. BTW, I filled out the roommate profile form when I moved in and I did make it clear that I need a very very quiet enviroment)

 

A few weeks ago, the problematic roommate of mine(let me call her C), had parties three nights in a row(of course, I couldn't go to bed until like 3-4 in the morning because of the noise). Well, from the first time we met, C and I didn't quite have the best chemistry, but after I told her about the noise, things got even worse. After that incident she would bring her noisy friends(who were also rude to me) over a few times and left the TV volume really loud so that I had to talk to her again. And as these things kept happening, she became more and more rude and now, she wouldn't even say "hi" back to me. BTW, I am an international student, so at one point, I even started doubting the possibility of her being a racist or at least xenophobic (I have had plenty of instances to detect this) I am set to require for what I deserve (e.g., quiet environment and everything else) but I am really angry about her being rude for what is not just.

 

Your thoughts on this issue would be a great help.

[HokeyReligions]

This is not right. How do you and your other roommate feel about C? Is there a possibility you two can tell her to move on?

 

I'm in favor of majority rules in this case and if you and your I haven't gone back and read any of your other posts so I don't know if you are rooming in a school sponsored apartment or on campus, or if you are doing this alone, but if your other roommate & you lodge a complaint and give C a warning that she'll be ousted if she doesn't quiet down, then even if she has a lease agreement or something, you should be able to get her out.

 

Something has got to give and it should not be your education! If C can't respect that, then she's in the wrong place & needs to move on.

 

 

I wish you well with this. I had a roommate a long time ago that I didn't get along with and I was the newer person so I moved on.

[butterflyz]

confirms why i have never had or ever will have a roommate.

 

there are strengths in numbers so confer with your other roommate to see how he feels.

 

then sit down and together, with the problematic roommate, devise a set of house rules that each of you will live by.

 

it won't be perfect, it won't be as quiet as you like, but there has to be compromise in order for this to work. if she doesn't want to compromise, then ask her to leave.

 

she needs to be confronted in an adult-like manner, understanding that everyone needs to be considerate of the other. if she does have an occasional party or have company, then go to the library.

 

good luck.

[upset]

Thanks a lot for your concern and messages.

 

The problem is that my other roommate(H)-the good one-is hardly home-she is here only half of the week since she likes outdoor activities-so, she was not here when these things happened. As a result, H and C don't have any problems between themselves. And I have no intent to let H know what is happening between C and I, since it is purely my business.

 

I have been reporting all the noise issues to the apartment office and they are well aware of what is going on. The problem is, as long as C is acting immature, she will keep having this attitude issue whenever I complain about the noise. And this will give discomforts to me as well.

 

I really don't know what to do anymore about her now that she is completely ignoring me. I think the only way is to take a full advantage of the office policy and make it work for me.

[HokeyReligions]

I understand it is your business, but it may have a direct impact on "H" too if/when "C" is forced to move, or "C" may go to "H" to try and get her support and it may be better if "H" is just kept informed of what is going on.

 

Also, since you and "H" have known each other longer you two will hopefully be able to rally together if "C" starts pushing more.

 

It's a difficult situation. I keep thinking of "fight fire with fire" and if conversation doesn't help "C" see what is going on, then maybe a dose of her own medicine will.

 

Good Luck.

[christin123]

Dear friends,

I had the problem before, but I just moved out to another place to be with someone who are kind.

If C did that deliberately. Why not telling everyone who will be living with you?

In fact, C is not liking you now for some reason. If you can get on with it then live there, or why not just quit to be with such a person. And I think probably you can't make C become quiet.

I have similar problems that my roommates(I don't know actually which one(s)) always stole my food by large amount, because we cooked separately, but had the same fridge.When I became angry, I stole her food too. And after a while, the problem disappeared. I know it is a bad method, but I am really poor to let them continue to eat my food without asking me. The only method I could stop it was this one. I know I am a bad girl on this point.