I just Can't let go !!

[ladibird]

Hi (sorry a bit long)

 

I had a brief affair last year and really fell for him big time, we were both married, only my marraige wasn't strong enough to cope with an affair and i couldn't turn back after I had done it!

He on the other hand had cheated before although he had never had an affair.

We both started liking each other too much and as we both said from the start it was just fun (selfish I know) he ran scared and finished it.

I was devastated, I couldn't believe how hurt I was I had been telling myself it didn't mean anything it was just fun !!

Anyway I held on to him by saying we would stay friends and although we had a few flirty texts we did stay friends. We met for a drink week before xmas and still got on great but that attraction for both of us was there!

He told me he didn't know how he could be friends with someone he had sexual thoughts about but I just dismissed it and said it would be fine..

 

He along with my friends helped me get through my difficult time in seperating from my husband, as that is what I knew I had to do! I knew I would cheat again and I had got away with it this time but next time I might not.

We went out for the day out after new year, I knew I was stopping over with him and we'd been teasing each other about the just friends thing!

Of course it didn't stay just friends, after some wine we were all over each other and spent the night together, it was great..

We said we would start again and just have some fun with each other and he would still see me, but then with too much texting the week after something happened at his end, I'm not sure what, maybe he nearly got caught, but the day after he told me we needed to cool of the texts!

I tried to act cool about it, I apologised for everything and went about my business, I soon realised he wanted to cut all ties, no emails at work or anything. So I did for a few days which I found hard as I rarely went a day without contact.

Then he text me something silly out of the blue, we still texts a bit, but I know I'm clinging on to him, I feel like he's been a rock for me as well as someone I wanted to be with. He has made it clear he won't leave his wife and I don't want him too, but I do want him (wrong I know)

I can't let go, I want him so much, I find myself trying to entice him to change his mind, making it hard for him to cut loose. I know he wants me he said " I really want you! I just can't have you!".

I know the right thing to do, I should leave him alone to get on with his own life and marraige.

So why do I not do the right thing why do I keep trying to do the wrong thing ? help!

I keep hoping he'll change his mind! I know that is so wrong it's like I'm oblivious to what can happen, who could get hurt.

 

I'm being purely selfish but I can't stop WHY ??

[whichwayisup]

He won't change his mind, ever. And, if you don't stop you WILL stay the OW in his life for a very long time.

 

You're NOT thinking with your head, you're letting your heart, and emotions get in the way.

 

I do commend you for divorcing your husband, that's sad because it seems you and him (your husband) never got a chance to fix the marriage, go to counselling and see if you could be happy again with him. Though, atleast now he can find a woman who will love only him and not cheat on him.

 

Does the MM have children? There's another reason why he won't leave his wife...

 

Maybe you need to be on your own, stop seeing the MM and find yourself. Get some therapy to help you stay away from MM.

 

What is it that YOU want? Will you be happy settling for table scraps? How long do you want to be 2nd best and stay the OW? These are things you must ask yourself.

[BeenAround_N_Back]

right now, you are probably way too infatuated to see straight. and yes, you are being selfish and so is he!! I think most affairs would die if you combine it with the daily routine tasks, the mundane stuff.

[justice]

This is gonna hurt. He is never going to change his mind unless his wife boots his cheating ass out. Do yourself a favor and find an unmarried guy and give yourself a break you deserve better than this.

[sassy N sassy]

Hi (sorry a bit long)

 

I had a brief affair last year and really fell for him big time, we were both married, only my marraige wasn't strong enough to cope with an affair and i couldn't turn back after I had done it!

He on the other hand had cheated before although he had never had an affair.

We both started liking each other too much and as we both said from the start it was just fun (selfish I know) he ran scared and finished it.

I was devastated, I couldn't believe how hurt I was I had been telling myself it didn't mean anything it was just fun !!

Anyway I held on to him by saying we would stay friends and although we had a few flirty texts we did stay friends. We met for a drink week before xmas and still got on great but that attraction for both of us was there!

He told me he didn't know how he could be friends with someone he had sexual thoughts about but I just dismissed it and said it would be fine..

 

He along with my friends helped me get through my difficult time in seperating from my husband, as that is what I knew I had to do! I knew I would cheat again and I had got away with it this time but next time I might not.

We went out for the day out after new year, I knew I was stopping over with him and we'd been teasing each other about the just friends thing!

Of course it didn't stay just friends, after some wine we were all over each other and spent the night together, it was great..

We said we would start again and just have some fun with each other and he would still see me, but then with too much texting the week after something happened at his end, I'm not sure what, maybe he nearly got caught, but the day after he told me we needed to cool of the texts!

I tried to act cool about it, I apologised for everything and went about my business, I soon realised he wanted to cut all ties, no emails at work or anything. So I did for a few days which I found hard as I rarely went a day without contact.

Then he text me something silly out of the blue, we still texts a bit, but I know I'm clinging on to him, I feel like he's been a rock for me as well as someone I wanted to be with. He has made it clear he won't leave his wife and I don't want him too, but I do want him (wrong I know)

I can't let go, I want him so much, I find myself trying to entice him to change his mind, making it hard for him to cut loose. I know he wants me he said " I really want you! I just can't have you!".

I know the right thing to do, I should leave him alone to get on with his own life and marraige.

So why do I not do the right thing why do I keep trying to do the wrong thing ? help!

I keep hoping he'll change his mind! I know that is so wrong it's like I'm oblivious to what can happen, who could get hurt.

 

I'm being purely selfish but I can't stop WHY ??

You can let go. I was in a affair for 12 years. I.m not going into the full detail's But. I thought i could not let go. But i did. And its not easy letting go. But once you get used to the ideal that it is over you can go on from there. IF he is not going to leave his wife. Then break it off. Because my friend you are the one is going to be hurt in the long run. And you think you are going crazy. Believe me i been there and done that. I'm coping right now. i"m not going to lie i do email him sometimes. but he doesnt email back. in a way i'm glad he doesnt because i no he is showing me how much he cares. And what i mean by that. he doesn't show he care's enough. SO i got my answer. So please do what is right for you. {careing friend}

[Sup]

Why don't you tell your husband, and let your husband make a decision with his own life, and STOP being so selfish and forcing your husband to remain married to you, let him go and find someone else so he can be happy. Since you had GREAT SEX with OM, let your husband go.