lovekitten95 Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 A friend of mine is dating this girl he has been friends with for 3 years now. They have been dating for just 4 weeks so far. She is very jealous, controlling and manipulative. She will not allow my friend to have any female friends nor will she allow him to dance with another woman. She calls him several times a day to check up on him and controls his spare time. She manipulates him into thinking that its her way or no way. My friend is a quiet, shy guy who doesnt like confrontations and accepts her for being a bully. They have broken up 5 times in the last 3 weeks. He told me from the beginning that he didnt think that the relationship would work out cause they have always had a tense friendship. I know he will keep going back to her and do anything to keep her, but how long do you think that she will want to play the game? I know nothing about manipulative controlling women. Do they eventually tire of this? Link to post Share on other sites
thatmatt Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 As someone who recently got out of a relaionship with someone very similar to the girl you're describing, tell him to get out!! I too am a shy guy, and I was severely taken advantage of. The more and more he gives to her, the more and more "power" she will have over him, and the longer they are together the more attached at least he will become to her, seeing as he is able to be very passive about things. I too am a very passive person, and there are a lot of times it's a great quality to have, but it can also leave you very niave. It sounds like she is using breaking up with him as leverage to control him, to keep him scared. My advice to him is to get out as quickly as possible. I think issues like this can be dealt with, but the other person has to be understanding and open, and people with qualities such as hers usually tend not to see someone elses views. And 5 times in three weeks is crazy. It's like there was no "floating in clouds in love" period before the relationship became serious and became something that required commitment and dedication. He sounds like he's a bit hesitant, perhaps inquire why he has doubts about leaving the relationship (losing a friend, being alone, etc) and see how those compare to what he's been through already, and what he will most likely go through if he pursues this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
insomnie Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 She may be jealous and controlling, but why are you all over LS wondering what the chances that they will break up soon are? Sounds like you might want more than friendship with this guy... If that's the case, my advice to you is, don't be the girl that's the reason the gf is jealous of his friends. If you are really his friend, stop hoping the worst for his relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 She may be jealous and controlling, but why are you all over LS wondering what the chances that they will break up soon are? Sounds like you might want more than friendship with this guy... If that's the case, my advice to you is, don't be the girl that's the reason the gf is jealous of his friends. If you are really his friend, stop hoping the worst for his relationship. Insomnie makes a very insightful point there....!! Are you interested in this man yourself? If so perhaps you ARE the reason she is jealous?! Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Fact is that it is none of your business. He may be your friend, but she is his girlfriend. What goes on in their relationship is between them. If he chooses to not stand up to her then it is his responsibility to deal with the consequences. If this interferres with your relationship then perhaps it wasn't as strong as you think? All you can do is make her realise you are not a threat, be nice and respectful of their relationship and you can still have a friendship with your friend. But you cannot wait around for any relationship to end. It is not only mean, but pointless because they may be together for a LONG time. It is early days yet. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 If she is a friend it has got something to do with her.I sure as hell wouldnt stand around and let one of my friends be taken advantage of.I wouldnt actually say anything to her.Id give him my advice and then its up to him wether or not to take it. Link to post Share on other sites
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 They have broken up 5 times in the last 3 weeks. So in 21 days, they have broken up five times, which is approximately once every four days. Hmmm... sounds like a doomed relationship if you ask me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovekitten95 Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 No, I am not interested in my friend in that way. Its just that hes a good guy and is such a push-over that he has been burnt so many times in the past. He has already been divorced. I think that he was attracted to her for lust not love. His mother is domineering too and his father is wimpy. I kinda think that the mother and girlfriend may not get along as they both compete for his attention. Link to post Share on other sites
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