loveratud Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 So after over 3 weeks of roughly no contact (just her showing up places she knew I'd be, and me ignoring her) I'm going to make a gesture. The last time we really spoke seriously, things were hostile, I told her to leave me alone, that I couldn't handle hearing from her at all, etc. Then she showed up at a lot of places that I would be at. Sent me a few messages asking why I didn't say hi. Spent days updating her facebook profile to include shows and movies and songs that we always enjoyed together. http://home.comcast.net/~dianthos/card.JPG I've decided not to write anything serious in the card. You can see the front in the picture, the inside just says "Miss you." I'm just going to sign it. That way it's no pressure, no questioning her decision, etc. Just letting her know that I'm still thinking of her. The chocolates are from Brazil, it was a bitch to get them. The tshirt is the official party shirt from the party she showed up at the other night to see me. I know I'm going to plunge myself into high anxiety after I have this stuff delivered, since I'll be waiting and agonizing over getting a response. And I know I'll get a response. The agony will be over what that response is. My birthday is Wednesday (valentines day) so she'll have an opportunity to do something grand and romantic. Or I'll have set myself up for a very dissappointing birthday. It wouldn't have been very good anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
silentcharon Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 I'm sorry, this isn't a good idea. You are setting yourself up for some heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 My birthday is Wednesday (valentines day) so she'll have an opportunity to do something grand and romantic. Or I'll have set myself up for a very dissappointing birthday. She isnt going to do anything mate, and neither is my ex Its sh*t. Accept it. V Day is so bloody depressing. I've resorted to viewing the web in text only mode to avoid all the freakin ad banners and reminders. Rocket Link to post Share on other sites
alasia Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 No.....why are you doing that?! In theory it's a sweet gesture and I know I'm not exactly qualified to comment on other people's relationships, but surely sending her that stuff will pressure her to some extent? She'll feel obliged to reply in some way, probably sit there, racking her brains wondering whether to contact you or (if she's totally over you) if you'll take her replying as some sort of declaration of undying love. If you want her to recieve that stuff, realise how sweet it is and come running back to you begging for another chance, then chances are she won't. She may think it's a nice thought, but then she'll either feel bad that she hasn't got you anything, feel uncomfortable generally or get a little bit freaked out/annoyed because she's moving on and you quite clearly aren't. I hate to be so negative and I hope I'm wrong, but I think a better idea would be to keep the chocolates for a relative's birthday and give it to them instead. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 I think you should go ahead and do this- that way you will learn what a bad idea it is. It's like being told not to get near a hot stove- you never learn until you actually touch it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 NO NO NO. Don't do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveratud Posted February 12, 2007 Author Share Posted February 12, 2007 I don't expect her to come running back. That's not what I want. There's a lot of work to be done between here and back together, and a lot of it is hers to do. Just letting her know that I'm still thinking of her, since our last real talk was somewhat hostile. I think when you're no longer willing to put your heart on the line, then you've given up. I'm a long way from giving up. Link to post Share on other sites
Onwards Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 I think when you're no longer willing to put your heart on the line, then you've given up. I'm a long way from giving up. Nope, when you are no longer willing to put your heart on the line, it means that you have objectivity....and when you get objectivity, you'll know that NOT sending a card will effect her far more than sending one ever could. Don't send it - it will not move you one inch closer to getting her back...the opposite action would be far more effective. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveratud Posted February 12, 2007 Author Share Posted February 12, 2007 Alright, I'm just going to stow the whole lot under my bed, though it's against my own judgement. We'll see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
silentcharon Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Afraid Onward's right. We all telling you not to do it, because we have done this before and it DIDN'T work. Your ex is no different than our exes were, why think otherwise? Go ahead and do it. I guarantee you that it won't do a thing. Go ahead and put your heart on the line- it's only a matter of time until you get sick of giving so much and getting nothing in return. Until then, you move on. S'okay, we're here for you anyway if you get no response. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveratud Posted February 12, 2007 Author Share Posted February 12, 2007 I put the chocolates, the shirt, the card, and all the other cards I had bought in a drawer. Along with all the stuffed animals she got me, the wallet and the contact lenses she left behind. And all the pictures of her\us. Did a lot of cleaning up around the apartment today. Did my taxes, etc. I realize that the card\chocolates is just me trying to fix something that I didn't break, and I can't fix. I know that she's the one that left a good thing, and she has to be the one to come back to it. Thanks for the multiple slaps across the face guys, you kept me from going through with it. Link to post Share on other sites
shockandawed Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Lovertud, Nice move, tough but nice move. Take it from the guy who put a rose and card on her windshield. It's her problem to fix and it won't get fixed as long as she knows you are waiting with open arms. Been there, done that and got the t shirt. Link to post Share on other sites
Shadowdog36 Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 I had the same idea at Christmas. Get her a gift, nothing too expensive, more like a trinket that would remind her about the good times we had. HORRIBLE IDEA. Told me she couldn't accept a gift from me, but Merry Christmas. Man, did I feel like a fool. Might as well ripped my b*lls off and sent them to her as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Final Destination Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Everyone is right. Do NOT send it. We've all been there and all it does is hurt when you get no response back whether you say you want one or not. "V" day is for lovers and couples. If you aren't in those categories then all it looks like is you are fishing. Whoever stated not sending one will send a much louder message is right on the money. Link to post Share on other sites
Wendyrite12 Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Honestly, if my ex who, I'm pining for, sent me a card, a t-shirt and chocolates from Brazil I would think it was overkill so I definatly think your doing the right thing by holding off tomorrow. it's one day and not sending anything is a great message to send!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts