Relationship? Worried about future together.

[EarthWind]

Quick Run: He's Muslim, I'm Catholic. We're both really stubborn. And we're both wrestling with the idea of a getting involved on a relationship level. He wants more, I want to take things slow. We're both worried about the future. I, about his family and there acceptance of me for me as I am. He, about my wild past, relationship-baggage, and fear of infidelity. He's about to the point of ulitmadum and I'm scared to commit, even though I do love him very much. What is the right thing to do?

 

Should I try it out and just hope it will work, like he says? Or should I stick to my guns and acceptance the consequences?

 

Should we fully trust each other after a year? Do these type of relationships tend to work out-- Catholic and Muslim? Is it as doomed as my parents are saying? Does his parents or my parents really matter in the end? Is it really love speaking through his anger?

 

 

The Long Story:

I have been on and off with a man I met for almost a year now. Although, I only had a crush on him, I didn't intend on falling for him like I have. I have never felt such a connection like this to someone before. He's a really good friend of mine and we have great chemistry for the most part. But we slept together, and since then, it's been a mess.

 

I know that we brought this on ourselves, but...

 

What happened was his feelings got out of control, and he turned ugly on me. From the begining (before sex) I knew (and he knew) that I didn't want to commit b/c we didn't know each other that well yet, and I was overcoming a really traumatizing relationship (I knew I had baggage and was scared). Also, I never dated inter-racially, and I knew his religion (and his parents) would be unaccepting.

 

My parents put a lot of pressure on me not to get too serious with him, even though they welcomed and excepted him in our house.... Until he flipped on me, that is. All we did was fight about being together every time we talked, even when I tried to change the subject. Everyday. I just couldn't do it anymore. He was becoming nasty and insulting.

 

So, I made minimal contact with him over the next few months. He was and still is my friend. In that time I continued dating around and wound up sleeping with someone. Me and 'Him' had been apart for over three months when that happened, but talked here and there. I still told him everything that was going on in my life. I had always been open with everything from the begining.

 

He began to change about two months ago. To the old him.

And I found myself missing him. Mostly, when he started to lighten up again, and we found the laughter and I felt the person I met coming back.

 

I decided to give it another go (Now against my parent's will), having never met his parents... and scared lifeless that it won't work because of my rocky relationship/history and his background/religion.

 

It's been great. I've been ignoring my inhibitions. And we've been having an awesome, awesome time together.

 

But now he's bought up being in a relationship again. Almost really gave me an ultimadum last night and still angry and untrusting of me for the guy I slept with.

 

I haven't been with anyone since seeing him again. I feel content with him I do. There's def a chemistry and good sex compatibilty. But I'm worried about our future together...

 

He says he's in love with me, that it's complicated. I think sometimes I may love him too, but I'm afraid he's going to settle in once I give him my heart and not care about me anymore. I feel he wants the label of 'his girlfriend' on me only b/c he doesn't fully trust me. I am very insecure after my past relationships, b/c its been a pattern of the same type of men.

 

But I'm different with him. I feel strong and insecure at the same time. I think he may feel the same. I just hate to think about the future and tend to focus on having fun, but it lurks in both of us.

 

My questions are: Should we fully trust each other after a year? Do these type of relationships tend to work out-- Catholic and Muslim? Is it as doomed as my parents are saying? Does his parents or my parents really matter in the end? Is it really love speaking through his anger? Please, someone, help me figure out what to do.

 

He wants a commitment, and I feel he's ready to walk if he doesn't get one soon. Should I try it out and just hope it will work, like he says? Or should I stick to my guns and acceptance the consequences?

 

What is the right thing to do?

[oh_what_am_I_doing]

I think sometimes I may love him too

 

Well my advice would be "when in doubt, don't." I love that phrase; it applies to so many situations. When you love someone you just know it, you don't think that maybe you do, especially since you've been together, even if just on and off, for so long. Easier said than done, however I think it's better if you part ways.