Left me yesterday..and she came back today!!

[richardcruz]

Wel,l first of all I want to say that I love this forum because it has helped me through the darkest point in my life a year ago when my ex left me for someone else. You people are the greatest people on the face of the planet....Anyways here is my situation. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 7 months. She is 20, im 27. I love this girl with everything in me and she has told me the same. We had even spoke about a far future with each other (marriage) years from now (prob when shes 24) when she gets her career going. Well everything has been going perfect until last night. She has been really busy as of the last 2 weeks with her job as she has been assigned a few more hours a day. She kinda didnt wanna hang out w me as much (understandable) and many times when she was just at home, i would hint her to come over and she would shoot the idea down. So yesterday we went out and I confronted her about it. I asked her and then she started tellin me that she cant see herself being w me long term and that she needed to figure out if this was true or not. She told me that she couldn't decide with me in the picture and she needed a few weeks to figure it out and sort her emotions out. That hurt. My eyes got watery but I didnt cry (learned my lesson not to do that from my last relationship). I told her if there was anything that I could say to make her change her mind and she said no. She said she needed to figure this out on her own and that she would call me. She told me to please not to call, email or text her because she had to make this decision on her own. She told me that I deserved someone that was sure of everything that they wanted. I left and as soon as I turned the street corner, I cried. That night I cried over and over and didnt get a wink of sleep. Well in the morning I took all of her pictures down and erased the pics on my phone. I had was preparing for the worse. I went to the store and received a txt msg. To my suprise it was her. She asked me where I was and I told her. She told me she was on her way. I was in disbelief. I went out to the parking lot 5 min later and got in her car. She told me that she was sorry for what she had done and said that she cried herself to sleep last night (her eyes were pretty puffy). She told me that she couldnt bear just knowing that we werent together that night and that now she was sure that she knew she wanted to be with me. She said that instead of weeks, it only took her one night. She told me that she freaked out because shes young and that she already found the love of her life. She continued saying that all her friends were doing things single people do (which Im guess partying, clubbin..just the whole single life) and it made her think for a second, but she would rather go through her years not doing those things (alone because we do those things as a couple) than regretting later that she lost me. She told me if I would take her back and I said yes. Now two days later I still feel real hurt. Everyone tells me that Im lucky that she came back and that she must really love me. But inside I can't forget the tings that she said and they really hurt. I feel that I have lost the innocence that I loved her with. By that I mean that my guard is back up now and I feel that she is gonna leave me again. Her words now mean very little and I feel that deep down she trully doesnt love me. Can someone please help me make sense of this. I wanna feel the same way I did for her but it just still hurts. I wish she could give me some kind of assurance or say something that would reassure me that she isnt gonna do this again. How do I forget.. Am I being to hard on her and should I accept that people make mistakes. My feelings are so mixed up. Please help. Thanks for reading.

[sueidaho]

i am so sorry that happened to you. i don't know if you will take anything i say as advice but let me go on. i actually did to my ex what your gf did to you. i regretted it horrible after i did it, but it was done. the only thing i see that helped me and probably him as well as you is to break up for a while to let yourself heal and to see if you can have any feelings for her again. i am thinking that if you let time go by and decide that maybe you two could have a second chance but not with the baggage that she heaped upon you, maybe she will treat you differently the next time she gets these urges. she, like me, need to learn that it is not fair to people whom we love to treat them the way we did. i have told him how i loved him and he feels that i don't because of what i did. i have not conntacted him for a week in a half and am trying to heal. give yourself time to heal. if she truly loves you she will leave you be for a while if you ask her and sort out your feelings. how can you go back into anything if you have hurt still????? good luck

[thatmatt]

make sure you take the time to think about this. My GF broke up with me out of nowhere, and came back saying how scared she was of losing me, so I caved, and the next month was just as miserable as the last few had been with her, and I regret not taking my time to think about it. It's a very big confidence builder to have that person come back to you so emotional, needing you so much, but BE CAREFUL!!!! You've been hurt, and while knowing how she can't live without you can make you feel needed, protect yourself, but keep it on the down low. Keep your eyes open, be cautious, and watch for things you've seen before, ie the shooting plans to see each other down. She needs to understand that while you're not holding a gruge against her, and not using this against her, you are recovering from a "near death experience", so to speak, and slowly have to ease yourself back into trusting her. It sounds like you both care about each other greatly, whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck.

[sundaynightheartache]

Hey Rich,

 

I think I know how you feel. It's like the relationship and the love has been tainted. I feel the same way about the relationship I'm going through now. I guess mine is just more extreme. I've lost so much trust and hope, and maybe even love because what happened hurt so much.

 

I'm sorry, I really don't have much to say.. except, I think that everything will turn out well for you. I think that this girl really does love you, and she's lucky that you took her back. Coping with what you feel right now, I understand how hard it is. I just hope you get over it, and that in the end, it'll be all worth it.

[richardcruz]

Thank you all for your posting. It has been 3 days since my girlfriend came back to me and Im still experiencing a flood of confusing emotions. When I first confronted her the night that she broke up with me, I told her that I felt distant from her because she didnt want to hang out as much and wouldn't be as affecionate as before. Well now I feel that things are the same. I know that I shouldnt have done this but yesterday it just got to me and I called her on it. I told her that I still felt distant from her and that I just wanted things to go back to the way they were when she would always tell (in person, phone, txting) me that she loved me and would hold onto my arm when we would go places. She told me that she didnt like it that I was pointing that out because it was weird and she didnt know what she was supposed to do to improve the situation. It hurt me because all im asking for is more affection. Am I really asking for alot after what she put me through? Well I decided today not to tell her anything anymore because if shes going to be affectionate with me, it'll come natural. Now im constantly afraid that shes gonna leave me for complaining because she seems annoyed by the whole thing. Guys, internally im really hurting and im not good at hiding things. Im sure she probably hasnt enjoyed hanging with me these past days because i've been depressed about her leaving and the things she said which I cant seem to forget. EVERYONE please tell me if i'm sabatoging my own relationship. Should I just let her come around on her own? Was I wrong for saying what I said? Should I just be thankful that she came back and stop complaining? Im thinking about getting counseling because i'm not sure if this is her doing or if just me. I am so confused. Your opinions are greatly appreciated!