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Broke my 3 weeks of NC


loveratud

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Well, on the advice of all my close friends, I broke NC today and sent her a facebook message that simply said "happy valentine's. hope you're having a great day."

 

I had decided against the card\chocolates as seen in the other thread. Everyone convinced me this was the thing to do though. That she felt that she's "the girl" and I should always be making the first moves.

 

So now I wait for a reply that includes a "happy birthday." Since today is also my birthday.

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Sorry -- if she broke it off with you -- there has been NC which is perfect - it should have remained that way.

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Ok, there's been several exchanges today. Basically she was under the impression that I never wanted her to talk to me again "unless she was coming back." I don't remember saying that, but my friends tell me that I did. Anyway, the sum of it is we were both running NC, with neither of us knowing why the other was.

 

We talked it out a bit, and I've set up a reconciliation on MY terms. A dinner next month (i want some more time to myself,) at a place where we can salsa dance. She has no idea about that though. We're not to discuss anything serious, just going out to have fun and get to know each other again.

 

I'm left thinking that NC isn't the best prescription for everyone. It helped at first, but keeping it going can be damaging to the relationship

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I'm left thinking that NC isn't the best prescription for everyone. It helped at first, but keeping it going can be damaging to the relationship

 

What relationship... you guys are apart? That statement right there is proof that NC is the best course of action. You're already falling into the trap.

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What relationship... you guys are apart? That statement right there is proof that NC is the best course of action. You're already falling into the trap.

 

Exactly.

 

I get the feeling she dumped you. So, with that understanding and what you explained OP - she is setting you up for a let down. She wants attention and to know you're still stuck but it is too soon to be in contact for you because you are primed to make the "too early" mistakes.

 

I hope you remember to keep things from going too deep too fast now that you are attempting to revive the relationship.

 

Good luck.

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She's not doing this for attention. She's not interested in anyone else, and neither am I.

 

She was apparently under a lot of financial stress. She got turned down for a lot of student loans, and was going to have to start a second job. She didn't tell me any of this. I think she didn't know how to tell me any of that, and she may have resented me since I don't work, and am financially supported by well off parents. The way I'm lining up the timeline of her financial problems, she was getting turned down for loans right when my parents were giving me a 47" LCD TV for my apartment.

 

Anyway, that additional stress on top of our unhealthy codependant relationship was basically the last straw.

 

I have specific plans for our new relationship. I don't want our old one back. I want us to date. Something we never really did. We went from aquaintances to best friends to lovers in a few days. We spent every single day and night together. Causing me to neglect my friends, fraternity, student government, and school.

 

So yeah, aside from dating, I plan on setting forth a few other rules. Like only staying at one another's apartments on weekends. Not just assuming we'll see each other all the time. Make plans to see one another so it's special.

 

I don't really understand why you think I'm falling in a "trap." I'm not going to get hurt like I did before. That was like heroine withdrawals, after spending every day together.

 

We're both confident that we're attracted to one another, love one another, and want to make it work. As long as we're both willing to try, everything will be fine.

 

I'll continue to update this with progress. I do want to thank everyone for all the advice and listening.

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