Author Quiet Robert Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 In her reply, she made several interesting claims. 1) That I am not supportive in her going to school. My other posts debunk that rumor. 2) If my issues with her crush makes me feel fat, that is my problem, not her's. Footnote: Since she had been rejecting me physically and talking about her teacher so much, my self esteem has gone WAY down. I am overweight and used to be okay with that. This situation has brought me to a place where I feel like I need to lose weight to get her to want me again. Those were my favorites. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Hi Robert, 1) As you know, you can only be so supportive of her going school, especially if she's getting a degree in something that will not bring any money home for your family. You're MUCH more supportive than I would be if my spouse were getting a useless degree while I sat at home with 2 kids every night. 2) Your wife is not supposed to have a crush. Since she does have a crush, she should avoid the guy(s) she has a crush on. It is totally unfair of her to expect you to be okay with her hanging out with some guy(s) she admittedly wants to scr*w. Your wife has NO respect for you or your marriage. Of course your self esteem has gone down the toilet! Your wife is supposed to love and cherish you, not make you feel like dirt. Sure, maybe your wife would like you to loose weight, but there are better ways to go about getting you to do so...like "hey, let's go work out together." Still, I highly doubt that your weight is the issue here. Here's the issue from my perspective: Your wife equates her home life (you and the kids) with responsibility and lack of fun. Since the two of you never do anything fun together, being with you (for her) is a drag. Keep in mind, this is NOT all your fault, so stop blaming yourself and loosing self esteem over how your wife is treating you. If you can talk your wife into visiting the marriagebuilders website, that would be great. She is not giving your marriage the attention it needs to survive. Here is one part of the site that talks about undivided attention: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3350_attn.html Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quiet Robert Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 The funniest part about her crush is that he is married with three kids and would never leave his wife or step out on her. She's barking up the wrong tree. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Oh this can't be a real story. I can't believe that a wife would tell a husband how much she wanted to f#ck some other guys. But lets assume there is someone that pathetically worthless out there...then you shouldn't stay with her one damn minute. I'd get the divorce papers ready for her trampy ass toot sweet. But again...this can't be real. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Ok..after reading more of this story...like i said, if its real...then take your kids and leave. Serve her with papers and let her go f#ck her other guys. Your kids need a stable role model to raise them, and sorry....she aint it. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 SC, I'm sure it could be a real story. My husband used to point out all the women he'd like to scr*w while we were walking at the mall. He even did it while I was pregnant and then in front of our kids. Robert, Don't be so sure this guy wouldn't take your wife up on her crush. And, if he doesn't, then she will probably find someone who will. Your wife is just plain cruel to talk about having a crush on someone with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quiet Robert Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 Oh this can't be a real story. I can't believe that a wife would tell a husband how much she wanted to f#ck some other guys. But lets assume there is someone that pathetically worthless out there...then you shouldn't stay with her one damn minute. I'd get the divorce papers ready for her trampy ass toot sweet. But again...this can't be real. Sadly it is. I managed to marry the most selfish woman on the planet. "Yes, Virginia. There is someone that pathetically worthless out there." I thought it was all in my head until I got "proof." We have a mutual friend that is my go-to when I need a friend so she knows the whole story. They were at a party together, I was not there, and my wife talked about how much she wanted to f@ck these people. My friend said in the back of her mind she thought..."But not your husband?" Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 In her reply, she made several interesting claims. 1) That I am not supportive in her going to school. My other posts debunk that rumor. 2) If my issues with her crush makes me feel fat, that is my problem, not her's. Footnote: Since she had been rejecting me physically and talking about her teacher so much, my self esteem has gone WAY down. I am overweight and used to be okay with that. This situation has brought me to a place where I feel like I need to lose weight to get her to want me again. Those were my favorites. Have you been "supportive" enough to PAY for her to go to school? Either by paying out of pocket or by supporting her sorry, non-working ass while she does it??? Because if you have... THAT particular gravy-train should be running dry right about now. Your wife is MEAN. She goes right for the jugular, deliberately causing you as much injury as she can. Don't think for even a minute that she doesn't KNOW it full well too. That's disrespect, plain and simple. See an attorney, Robert. You'll feel better when you know your options for one thing. AND... I don't think you're going to have this chick's attention until she knows you mean business. If then. Meanwhile, stop making life easy on her. Stop 'paying' for her 'playing'. And think about addressing those self esteem issues, okay? If you're feeling bad about yourself... take some time just for YOU. Get out to the gym, get a new haircut or a new style in your clothing. Meet some friends now and then for coffee. Take up a new hobby. You know... things that increase your sense of individuality in a positive way. If you think about it, there are THREE entities in marriage... the two individuals as well as 'the couple' entity. Sounds to me like all the energy has been going into your wife's individuality. It's not feasible to work on "the couple entity" right now (since she's got her head so far up her butt)... so maybe it's time to put some energy into YOUR sense of individuality. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Sadly it is. I managed to marry the most selfish woman on the planet. "Yes, Virginia. There is someone that pathetically worthless out there." I thought it was all in my head until I got "proof." We have a mutual friend that is my go-to when I need a friend so she knows the whole story. They were at a party together, I was not there, and my wife talked about how much she wanted to f@ck these people. My friend said in the back of her mind she thought..."But not your husband?" Oh my god man...kick this tramp out and fight for custody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quiet Robert Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 We have our first counseling session this evening. I will post results tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Hi QR, Yes, please post tomorrow. I hope all goes well tonight! Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 We have our first counseling session this evening. I will post results tomorrow. Well good luck with that..let us know how it turns out. I am a big skeptic of MC. I just wonder, and maybe you can share after you get back, what a counselor has to say about a spouse that openly tells you they want to f#ck other people. Link to post Share on other sites
jnb Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Hi Quiet Robert, I just joined today but have read just about all your posts on this topic. My heart goes out to you, I have a new daughter in law with basically the same additude as your wife, of course the additude didn't kick in until after the marriage vows. I have 3 sons and 1 daughter, they range from 21 to 29 our daughter being the oldest. She is a traditional wife, however our sons can't seem to find a traditional girl anywhere. My daughter in law brought a baby into the marriage, my son is the primary care taker, when the baby is sick he's responsible for staying home with her / and the mother because the mother can't clean up the "yuk". Our oldest has already been married and divorced because she didn't want to do anything but lay around and watch television all day and go out all night. Our youngest has learned from the older two. He is looking for a church going christian girl who's still a virgin, never drank, never used drugs and doesn't smoke who wants to be a stay home wife. I told him to stick to his guns and don't settle for anything less. My point is this, your wife sounds like a new age woman. She wants her cake, wants you to cook it, frost it, serve it up and wash the plate when she's done. You have to decide if that's how you want to live and if that's how you want your son to see you 15 years down the road. Oh wait I'm sorry I just saw that your wife is talking about sex with other men. Hon, you need to nip it in the bud now or move on. To many diseases out there that you don't need. My brother died of AIDS from casual sex, it's not worth it. Read Ephesians 5: 22-33 talk to your minsiter even if she won't go with you, you'll get your best advice there not MC. Good luck, let us know how it turns out. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Hi Quiet Robert, I just joined today but have read just about all your posts on this topic. My heart goes out to you, I have a new daughter in law with basically the same additude as your wife, of course the additude didn't kick in until after the marriage vows. Well I know that my boys will learn that if the EVER grow up and treat someone like the way this woman's wife treats Robert...or they cheat on their spouse...I'll kick their asses personally. No blood of mine is going to be that sh!itty to someone. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 QR, You know you deserve better. But I think MC is great since you'll never regret having tried to save your marriage. If your marriage ends (which seems likely), you'll know that you put in your 110% and can walk away guilt-free. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Well I know that my boys will learn that if the EVER grow up and treat someone like the way this woman's wife treats Robert...or they cheat on their spouse...I'll kick their asses personally. No blood of mine is going to be that sh!itty to someone. SC, Agreed! If my kids treated someone that way, they'd be seriously sorry! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quiet Robert Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 Did not get to go to counseling yesterday, I ended up getting stuck @ work. Rescheduled for next Tuesday. She still won't talk about anything. She was in true form yesterday, too. She "had a bad morning" and decided not to go to class. She was going to go in and work that afternoon, but decided just to take the whole day. At noon, I called her and told her that I was setting up an appointment for counseling and that she needed to call them as well for her bi-polar test. When I called her and told her we could not go because I was stuck @ work, I asked if she called and she said she thought I was going to do it. Also in the noon phone call, she told me that our "landlord" (for lack of a better word) came by for an inspection and that we had until this weekend to clean the house or we would be fined. She had the rest of the day and I asked her to get started on the cleaning effort. She did NOTHING. So now I have to try and clean the entire house for inspection while watching both kids by myself. It just keeps gettin better. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Robert, There is not a "test" for being bipolar but she can be evaluated. Google "Is it really depression?" and check out the website it recommends. There is a questionaire on one that is really good. Link to post Share on other sites
jnb Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Well I know that my boys will learn that if the EVER grow up and treat someone like the way this woman's wife treats Robert...or they cheat on their spouse...I'll kick their asses personally. No blood of mine is going to be that sh!itty to someone. Okay I'm confussed, did you all take my post as my son being ****ty to his wife? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quiet Robert Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 Okay I'm confussed, did you all take my post as my son being ****ty to his wife? No, what they are saying is that if they saw their own kids acting the way my wife or your daughter in law are, they would kick their butts themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Quiet Robert Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 Well I know that my boys will learn that if the EVER grow up and treat someone like the way this woman's wife treats Robert...or they cheat on their spouse...I'll kick their asses personally. No blood of mine is going to be that sh!itty to someone. So would my parents. It is weird. Her parents are great with each other. They have a wonderful marriage. They have had some problems, but they are great. I would love to ask her mom to talk to her, but she won't. Her mom told me a long time ago, I am not allowed to say anything negative about my wife to her. I know she would slap some since into her, but her answer is "it's our marriage and not hers." That is funny because she has a comment about everything else. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Okay I'm confussed, did you all take my post as my son being ****ty to his wife? Dunno...haven't read your posts. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 So would my parents. It is weird. Her parents are great with each other. They have a wonderful marriage. They have had some problems, but they are great. I would love to ask her mom to talk to her, but she won't. Her mom told me a long time ago, I am not allowed to say anything negative about my wife to her. Oh that makes sense...you are not allowed to talk negatively about your wife...but it is ok for your wife to screw around on you? Sounds like her mother just wants to bury her head in the sand and doesn't want to hear how her little girl turned out. In my situation, my wifes dad is furious with her. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Oh that makes sense...you are not allowed to talk negatively about your wife...but it is ok for your wife to screw around on you? Sounds like her mother just wants to bury her head in the sand and doesn't want to hear how her little girl turned out. In my situation, my wifes dad is furious with her. I agree. That's not fair of Robert's wife's mother. I understand the idea that a marriage is between a man and his wife, but in some cases I think that other relatives need to know what's going on. Of course my husband didn't want his parents to know about many of the things he did, but I think they needed to know why I left him. Who knows, maybe they still think I'm an evil woman for leaving their son, but at least they know their "sweet little boy" drank too much, smoked too much pot, neglected his kids, and beat his wife on several occassions before I decided to leave him. It makes me feel better that they know. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 I agree. That's not fair of Robert's wife's mother. I understand the idea that a marriage is between a man and his wife, but in some cases I think that other relatives need to know what's going on. Of course my husband didn't want his parents to know about many of the things he did,. Well of course...he is damned ashamed of what he did. Most of them are ashamed of what they did....at least after they got caught. Link to post Share on other sites
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