Guest Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 I'm hoping for some insight and maybe advice here... I had been talking to this guy since September. We knew each other in high school (we're now both 23), but didn't talk since HS graduation. We saw each other out at a bar in our city, and then started chatting online and then hanging out. He had a girlfriend of 6 years at the time, but had alwasy maintained that things weren't the same in their relationship. It got to the point where he was telling me he wanted to break up with her but didn't want to hurt her or break her heart since they had been together for so long. Also - it was very clear between us that we liked each other, we had kissed, messed around, gone out, hung out, etc. Finally, they broke up, and we "officially" started dating 3 weeks later. We have now been together 2 months. We spend every night together, and every second we can when we're not at work, etc. We started telling each other that we love each other a month ago, and we're always laying around, cuddling, running errands together, sleeping together, etc. We are definitely in love with each other, and we miss each other when the other is not around! Is it possible that he's really over her and in love with me? Is this relationship moving to fast? Will it crash and burn? I don't want him to leave me and go back to her if this feeling we have between us fades. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 so he cheated on his gf with u? thats not a good sign. what if things in ur relationship start going bad (clearly ur in the honeymood phase, it will wear off) if he meets some girl is he gonna cheat on u too cause he feels too bad to break up wtih u? think about that a lot! if he cheated on her with u, and broke up with her he clearly cant be too hung up on her. but then again, he might also just be trying to project the feelings he had for her onto u. u guys maybe are moving a tad too fast, maybe he is trying to erase feelings for her to u. my ex bf did that to me, then dumped me when his ex wanted him back. if his relationship was going bad enough to cheat, i actually dont think he is most likely still hung up on her, but i would DEF. proceed with caution. this dude is a cheater, and he might do the same thing to u if ur relationship starts to go downhill after the honeymood phase is over. Link to post Share on other sites
BeDour Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 I wouldn't call this guy a cheater. That's pretty harsh. He had 6 faithful years with this other girl. Hardly the mark of someone who's a "cheater". Maybe the reason that he "cheated" on his ex is because he really liked you and didn't want you to lose interest in him if he said "hey we can't be together right now because I have to break things off with my gf first.". You know? And that doesn't mean he doesn't care for you. That might sound silly but that's how guys think. We're weird like that. I wouldn't get too worried if I were you. It sounds like things are going great right now. I'm in the same position with this girl. We're crazy about each other. So unless you notice things getting a little weird or different or something (significantly different though, not just him wanting some space), then I wouldn't worry. Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Maybe the reason that he "cheated" on his ex is because he really liked you and didn't want you to lose interest in him if he said "hey we can't be together right now because I have to break things off with my gf first.". Are you serious? So running around looking for the first person that will hump you once you have problems in your realtionship is how to solve those issues? OP, why on earth would you want to be with someone that wont even give someone he spent 6 years with the respect of breaking it off before seeing someone new. If he treats someone that mattered so much more then you do to him like that how do you think he will treat you? Your an easy rebound for him is what it sounds like. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 I wouldn't call this guy a cheater. That's pretty harsh. He had 6 faithful years with this other girl. Hardly the mark of someone who's a "cheater". if he cheated on his gf he's a cheater. sorry there isnt any excuse for that crap, no matter if he cheated on her a month into the relationship or 6 years. its still cheating no matter what spin u put on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 ...thanks for you input guys, I appreciate it. I know I need to be careful, and that what he did to his ex wasn't right, but I keep thinking that they both knew they had problems and that the did end up breaking up before him and I officially started dating, because he wanted it to be right. I don't know if he cheated on her during the 6 years. My main concern is whether or not its possible for him to be so head over heals for me and still have it grow into a lasting relationship, if there was, like, no time in between his 6 year relationship, and now our relationship. I just don't want this to be something where after a few months of spending non stop time together and expressing such strong emotions, that all this wears off, and then he misses the stability and comfort of his old relationship.... Link to post Share on other sites
alextop30 Posted February 18, 2007 Share Posted February 18, 2007 I believe that he could be over her, I am a guy was in a nice relationship wich eventually broke up because of a huge distance, but about weather is he over her, I dont know know, you are the only one that trully knows, I believe that you can sit and ask him what happened in his realationship that broke it - Maybe love was gone durring those 6 years because young people may realy be mistaken of what love really is. If he had really hard time in that relationship than I would go with the statement he is over her, I know because as I broke up I was just so down and I was really looking for someone to talk to and there was this girl that listened and she was good friend like realy good and I think she had somehting to me and now she is all protective because i was really getting to be get attached to another girl. I am sorry you can call me a cheater but noone likes to be alone and when you have broken up you feel more alone than ever because that person that use to be there is not there any more Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 alex..this guy didnt just go out with her after he broke up with his gf of 6 years..he cheated on her before he broke up with her!!! he's a loser and the original poster should dump his sorry a** before he does the same crap to her! Link to post Share on other sites
alextop30 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 thanks for correcting me aparently I cannot read but since this is the case just forget him because if he cheats on you now what about the future - think about the future I say. ____________________________________________-- Love comes and goes but at the end what you can trust is only yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
littlebopeep Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Hmm thats hard to predict.Does he still keep in contact with his ex?Dont know if this will help but my ex broke up our 4.5 year r/ship 5 months ago because he is away for a year. When he ended it he told me that he still loved me and always would and that who knows what the future holds.I have a sneaky suspicion that he probably had his eye on some1 else and is spending all his spare time on her. However,i also know that when he has been home for holidays he has on occasion asked me if i would like to go for drinks.We have alot of history and i dont think he will ever completely cut me off.Everything with you is ok for now but what if he wants to keep in contact with her in the future,could you cope with that? Im a great believer in giving yourself time on your own after a failed r/ship because many people move on too quickly and when the honeymoon period is over find they have little in common. Whatever happens i wish you well. Link to post Share on other sites
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