Guest Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 My man when we go anywhere never stops looking at other women and we have only been together for 4 months!One valentines day we went out for dinner and the whole time we were there he preferred to watch the waitresses then me and these girls we very ordinary if I might say. We went shopping last night,I started talking to him in a shop and the next thing he was distracted by a much younger woman walking past to the point where I know he never heard me. How can I stop this bad behaviour and make him take more notice of me?I have told him how I feel about it yet he continues it. Are some men just habitual perverts? Link to post Share on other sites
swifty Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 "How can I stop this bad behaviour and make him take more notice of me?" First, I would explain to him how this behaviour makes you feel. It may be as simple as communication. I think it's about him having greater respect for you, especially when the two of you are together. It may come down to what your willing to tolerate in your relationship and if he is willing to see your side of things and alter his behaviour at least in your presence. Start by talking to him, maybe when your not in a situation like the one you described. Wish I could offer more, good luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 You can't stop his behavior - only he can do that. Yes, some men are habitual perverts, or LOSERS. Since you've already talked to him and he keeps doing it, then you have a right to be irritated. You can try fighting fire with fire - chat up all the men you meet while going out. Or you can stop going out in public with him. Or you can dress in a suggestive way, and point out all the men that are ogling you while his eye is on someone else. Or you can try talking to him again. But if he keeps it up, then I'd suggest breaking up with him. He obviously isn't getting it that you are upset about it since he keeps doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 My dad has oggled women for as long as I can remember. He will turn his head and watch when a beautiful woman walks by. When he went to Europe with my mom he took a bunch of photos just of attractive women walking by in Paris and Rome, instead of taking pictures of scenery like a normal tourist. Once he was on the down escalator with my brother and followed this woman with his eyes as she went up the other way. My brother made a comment, and my dad said, "I look at a beautiful woman the way I would look at a tree, or a cloud." And my brother said, "Yeah Dad, but you can't F*ck a cloud." But he has always been faithful to my mom, so it doesn't bother her. She laughs about it. So, I guess I'm not saying it's good, but it can be harmless. With your guy, I would just tell him he's being way too obvious and to learn some subtlety. Link to post Share on other sites
megnog Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 often, i find my boyfriend staring at other women. the fact that you said these are just ordinary looking women makes me think maybe its because he just likes to people watch - thats the excuse my boyfriend gave me. i don't know if you know for sure or not, but check to see if he looks at people all together or just women. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 RE: You walk away, Guest. Walk away. You can't save him. Save yourself. Find yourself another man. Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 My bf lways looks at other women when hes with me.I find it rude but sometimes i think men dont realise there doing it.I remember being in town once and a guy was looking at me,my bf got in a hump and kept saying he was going to knock him out.I said to him well next time you look at a woman ill knock you out then.He started denyng the fact that he does seem to stare when a remotley attractive women walks by.Until i caugh him out.He said he doesnt actually think to do it he just does. I think if a woman notices the fact that your looking then your being way to obvious.Tell him to try to control himself from looking at least when hes with you:) Link to post Share on other sites
Carbine Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Ugh. Unnaceptable. My ex would do that, (though not to the degree that you describe) and it would drive me INSANE . I tend to see the 4-month this a bit differently to you. I'd say that because you haven't been together that long, he hasn't developed the level of loyalty that prevents him from hurting your feelings. He may also be keeping his options open, you never know. Still, you shouldn't have to put up with it. If I were you, I'd approach him directly, let him know that his blatant perving is enormously disrespectful to you. Let him know that you understand that guys do look and that you're not trying to stop him from doing it, but you'd prefer it if he was discreet about it. Don't put up with any excuses from him that his level of perving is 'normal' or acceptable, which he's very likely to try and win the argument with. Stand your ground. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted February 18, 2007 Share Posted February 18, 2007 My dad has oggled women for as long as I can remember. He will turn his head and watch when a beautiful woman walks by. When he went to Europe with my mom he took a bunch of photos just of attractive women walking by in Paris and Rome, instead of taking pictures of scenery like a normal tourist. Once he was on the down escalator with my brother and followed this woman with his eyes as she went up the other way. My brother made a comment, and my dad said, "I look at a beautiful woman the way I would look at a tree, or a cloud." And my brother said, "Yeah Dad, but you can't F*ck a cloud." But he has always been faithful to my mom, so it doesn't bother her. She laughs about it. What else is she suppose to do about it. He is totally humilating your mother and even doing it infront of his own family. She might be laughing about it on the outside but it might really hurt her. That is just really extremely disrespectful. Your poor mother. I feel sorry for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Capricorn Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 My ex constantly ogled other women, I say good riddance to him!!! My new man is awesome though cause when were out his attention is on me. Once in a while I'll notice him maybe glance at a woman but he never stares or ignores me like my ex did. I thank god that not all men are like my ex. What the hell is the purpose of being in a relationship with a man if they are all constantly on a search for better looking women. My dad and my brother always stare at women and many times I said something to my dad about it. I don't think it's right that he does that **** to my mom. Growing up around my dad and my brother made me think all men were nasty pigs. Up until I met my current man 3 years ago I truely never thought I would meet a decent man. Just know that you do have options and you don't have to settle. Decent men do exist!!! Link to post Share on other sites
MotherGooze Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 I'm sorry but I think you're overreacting. I used to have this boyfriend (used to sadly). When he saw an attractive woman he would come right out and mention it to me and I would look and often agree. Sometimes if I saw an extremely pretty girl, I would say, "She's very attractive." He agreed with me. I also look at handsome men and either I make a remark or my boyfriend did. That's a sign of maturity and trust. To me looking at a beautiful woman or a handsome man is like looking at a fine piece of art. I don't feel stressed out or inferior at all. Men looking at women is NORMAL! Women are just sneaky about looking at other men. It's time we faced reality and stopped being in dreamland when we think that they should only have eyes for us 100%. Just because a man looks at a woman or vice-versa doesn't mean they are going to jump their bones! I do feel that in you situation it could have gone too far by the fact that he wasn't listening to you when you were talking. Point that out to him. relationships are all about communication. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Looking is all good and everything, but when it gets to the point that you put staring above listening to your partner... then there's a problem. Eh when I catch my bf doing it I just laugh and shake my head. But he certainly doesnt ignore me whilst doing it, because he still has some respect for me. Link to post Share on other sites
MotherGooze Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 You could also try and do the same to him. When he's talking about something, just look at some guys ass. It has worked for me But don't forget to talk about it. If it bothers you , he should at least know about it. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Perving? How about Rude! Tell the boy he's being rude. If that doesen't stop him, make your point another way. Don't see him for awhile. When he asks why tell him it's because you are embarrassed by his rudeness when you are out with him. If that doesen't work, find another boy to play with. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 Next time it happens, look her up and down, then look at him, laugh and say "as if'! Link to post Share on other sites
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